Christmas Without You
by Rob Warr
Chapter 6
Sunday, Christmas Eve, 1995.
Breakfast was a solemn affair and no one seemed to have much of an appetite. Mom had called earlier and said we could take a day off from visiting if we wanted, but no one wanted to. In fact, the need to see my dad again and assure myself that he was still living seemed stronger than ever that day.
We puttered around till time to go, and only then realized how much snow we'd received over the night. At least four inches, but it had stopped for the time being and most of the main roads had been cleared. It was slow going out of the neighborhood, but Juanita's four-wheel drive got us there easily.
The hospital parking lot was practically empty, a rarity, and thankfully we were able to park close to the entrance. Mom met us as usual, and she had a big smile on her face which wasn't at all typical considering the severity of the situation.
"Mom?" I said frowning, "What's up, you look happy all of a sudden."
"You'll see," she said growing more excited by the minute, "Come on, someone is anxious to see you."
Whaaaa..." I said, but mom was already leading the way to the elevator and I had to run to catch up to the others, who seemed to accept mom's strange behavior without question.
In the elevator, I tried to get mom to tell us what was going on, but again she just said, "You'll see."
Did I dare hope for a miracle? Had dad awakened, perhaps totally cancer free and raring to come home? Did things like that really happen in real life, or was I just fantasizing? But one thing was sure, something was up, and mom seemed almost smug about whatever it was as she led us out of the elevator and to a different room than dad had been in since our first visit.
As we pushed open the door, the first thing I noticed was dad sitting up in bed, and...his eyes were open, and he had a big smile on his face.
"There's my kiddos," he said happily, holding out his arms for us to swarm into them.
"Why didn't you tell us on the phone," I scolded mom, "you even tried to get us to stay home."
"I didn't know then, it just happened a few minutes ago, while you were on the way. They moved dad this morning, but I didn't think that was worth mentioning," she said wiping away a few tears of joy, "then I was staring out the window, praying as always, and I heard a noise, and when I turned around dad was grinning at me."
"Let me tell you guys, if a guy has to wake up from a coma, there's nothing better to wake up to than your mother's beautiful face," he said taking her hand.
"Does this mean..." I began, but I couldn't go on, couldn't ask the question that was no doubt on everyone's mind.
Mom sighed, "One step at a time. The rest we'll figure out as we go along."
"I feel fine, a little hungry," dad said grinning, "maybe they'll let me have some real food now."
"Within reason," mom chuckled, "no hamburgers or pizza just yet."
So, we hugged, and touched, and hovered over dad, unable to keep our hands off him, as if he might disappear if we did. We laughed and talked, and I'd begun to think there really was a Christmas Miracle happening here.
Dr. Singh came in about an hour after we'd arrived, took one look at us and chuckled, "Ordinarily I'd say a patient in your condition should have only two visitors at a time and total rest, but I can see that this bunch is the best medicine any man could hope for."
"Any chance a guy could get some food around here?" dad said grinning.
"I'll see to it, but don't expect too much this soon. I don't want to overload your system just yet."
When Dr. Singh left, we resumed our noisy chatter, and I was surprised someone hadn't come in to run us off, or at least tell us to quieten down. Little did I know that Dr. Singh had left orders not to disturb us except for the occasional vitals check.
An orderly finally brought a tray in for dad, but the food didn't look very appetizing. Broth and crackers, red jello and a small cup of tea to drink. Boy, Dr. Singh was right, no need to expect much at this point. Well, no problem, we'd smuggle in food if we had to, or...dare I think it? Take him home so he could have a proper Christmas dinner with us.
Eventually, dad drifted off to sleep, and though we all feared he'd go back into a coma again, we could tell that his unconscious state was different this time as he snored softly and occasionally moved about.
Mom took this opportunity to gather us all up and move us to the waiting room, which was empty at the time.
"I know you're all happy dad is awake, and you're probably thinking the worst is over, but..." she said sighing, "nothing has really changed as far as his condition, except that he's conscious now."
"What do you mean?" Sammy said, his voice a tiny squeak.
"Your dad still has an inoperable brain tumor and is going to die," she said it so bluntly that all four of us kids burst into tears simultaneously. Juanita didn't look much stronger, but I had a feeling she'd been more prepared for this than we were.
I mean, sure, we knew what the original prognosis had been, but somehow we deluded ourselves into believing that if dad woke up, somehow he'd be miraculously cured. Well, that might have been how it was on TV and in movies, but not in real life. Although dad being awake was a blessing and a gift to us, we still had the harsh reality of his impending death to deal with.
"I'm sorry, kids. I wish I had better news, but at least we can spend his final days together, and let him know how much we love him."
Linda had a stranger question, "Does dad even know he's dying, cause he don't act like it?"
"Of course, the doctor has shared all his findings with both of us, but your father is one of those rare optimists who takes life as it's given and tries to see the best in any situation. He told me earlier, that even if he only had five minutes with each of us, he'd die a happy man," she said wiping at her eyes.
How hard must this be on my mother? With no one here to give her comfort or support. Well, at least now she had dad to talk to, but how bitter-sweet was that? I moved over to sit by her and we instinctively hugged, and for a moment no one spoke.
"Can he come home soon?" I finally asked.
"Possibly," mom said quietly, "your father is pressing them to let him go today, but I don't know if Dr. Singh will approve that."
Juanita, who had been unusually quiet finally spoke up, "If he wants to come home, can't no one stop him, and I can stay around to help out. Be nice to have him home for the holiday."
Everyone agreed with that, that was for sure, but could we convince the doctors of that?
Dad was awake when we returned and seemed relieved to see we hadn't abandoned him. He talked about what he was going to do when he got home, and this and that, as if there was nothing wrong with him, as if he'd never fallen into a coma, or received a death sentence. Boy, talk about optimistic and resilient.
We finally excused ourselves to eat, as everyone was hungry after our meager breakfast and our appetite restored by dad's immediate recovery. We didn't linger, however, and were back in dad's room within a half hour, only to find Dr. Singh and a doctor we'd never seen before hovering over dad's bed.
At first we panicked, had dad had a relapse? Thankfully he hadn't.
"Ah, you've returned. Mrs. Yates, your husband is quite stubbornly insisting that I release him and send him home. What do you think of that? Do you think you are prepared to care for him there?"
This was a total shock for all of us, but mom didn't falter.
"Yes, what we lack in knowledge we can learn as we go. We can rent a hospital bed and anything else we need...and we can even have a health care professional come in as needed. That is, once the holiday is over..."
Dr. Singh sighed and nodded to the other physician, "This is Dr. Lewis, I have been consulting with him on Mr. Yates' situation since the start and...well, between the two of us we have decided there is no harm in his going home today, as long as he is constantly monitored."
"We can do that," all us kids chimed in at once, causing both doctors to laugh.
"Well, I see you have your own dedicated nursing staff, I'll want to go over a few things with you, Mrs. Yates, why don't we go do that while I arrange for your husband's release."
So, just like that, on Christmas Eve, as snow began to fall again outside we got to take our father home. He was so excited when he saw the snow, and it was all we could do to keep him from jumping out of his wheelchair and running to grab a handful.
Mom, however, had him in complete control as she forced him into her SUV, while Sammy and I climbed in back. Linda rode with Eric and Juanita, and despite the snowy conditions we were home in about forty five minutes.
Mom pulled the SUV into the garage, while Juanita parked in the driveway and she met us at the door leading in from the garage to the kitchen. Despite his bravado, dad was a little weak from his ordeal but Sammy and Mom were able to get him situated on the couch in no time at all.
He looked around, sighed and smiled, "Ah, home, sweet home," he said, "hey, is it my imagination, or are their more presents under that tree since the last time I looked?"
"Could be," I said grinning, "maybe Santa came early."
"I'll go change the sheets and get the bed ready for later," mom said sounding happy, "but for now, you can park here, mister."
"Thanks dear," dad said pulling mom down for a kiss.
"Get a room," I joked, and everyone, including mom and dad laughed.
It felt normal, natural, having dad there, alive and conscious and joking around with us. It was hard to believe what we'd been through so far, and what might lay ahead. I had to believe things would work out for the best, however, and for the moment I vowed to enjoy every minute I had to spend with my dad and make this the best Christmas ever.
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