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You are here: Home > Story Shelf > All Authors > Richard Campbell > The Natural Couple | Richard Campbell | Chapter 6

The Natural Couple

Chapter 6

By Richard Campbell

At the age of sixteen, Jimmy Evans had more self possession than many people achieve in a lifetime. Partly this was due to his being the only child of rather elderly parents, but it was also true that during his short life, no-one had ever really said no to him when it came to anything important. Bright, attractive and intelligent, from the time he started school learning came easily to him, and he was a joy to teach at a time when children were beginning to realise that the days when they could be forced to do anything that they didn't want to, were well and truly over. His teachers liked him and in view of this, it was a tribute to his personality that his contemporaries liked him even more.

He was good at games, fun to be with and very popular with his friends of whom he had many. They also liked his generosity. At an age when most children love to give if it doesn't cost them too much, he was exceptional in that his open handedness was natural and spontaneous. He happily shared his sweets with everyone and always offered them before being asked. If there was a downside to this, it was a tendency to angrily resent anyone who he thought had taken advantage of him. As he was not in the least mean, anyone who noticed this trait of his character, and few did, thought it was perfectly justified.

All in all, he was a happy boy and if he tended to play with the boys rather than girls in primary school, children do tend to hang around more with their own sex at that age. It caused no remark whatsoever. His teachers were sorry to see him go when he moved on to secondary school.

Jimmy took in his stride the trauma of changing from his small Catholic primary school where every child was known to every member of staff, as well as to each other, to becoming one of an anonymous crowd of seven hundred or so boys. Within a few weeks he was the most popular boy in his class and already beginning to get appreciative looks in the playground from some of the older boys as well. Unlike some of his contemporaries, the fact that it was a boys only school wouldn't have worried him in the least if he had thought about it, which he didn't.

He was the apple of his parents' eyes and being an only child, could easily have been spoilt if his character had been less strong. And if they were a touch over protective, he had enough personality to cope that too, and quietly got his own way without provoking too much conflict in the process. Both parents adored him, and feeling perhaps slightly guilty about it, would occasionally try to find some fault in him, rather in the fashion of the ancient Greeks worried about the Gods' fabled dislike of too much perfection. But there was always some small flaw that could be found to take the edge off it, such as his increasingly offhand attitude towards his religion. But in spite of that they were intensely proud of him and had unconsciously set him up on a pedestal The thought that he might have feet of clay never crossed their minds.

If they had been told that he had a capacity for bearing grudges and a thirst for revenge quite out of proportion to his age and development they might have been less worried about his fabled perfection. There was in fact a dark side to his good nature that was no less powerful for being so completely hidden.

Only two of his older contemporaries, who had been rash enough to bully him, knew the extent to which he would go when he really put his mind to it. Expecting the usual push-over, they were badly beaten up one day when they picked on him once too often. The unpleasant pair who swaggered around the playground picking on smaller boys, had decided on first seeing him, that Jimmy's good looks were an affront to humanity in general, and to boyhood and themselves in particular. Eagerly anticipating meting out the usual penalty with minimal retaliation (after all it was two to one, the odds they liked best) they found to their surprise one day, a turning worm. The usual taunts and jibes that quickly became a physical attack, suddenly and unexpectedly provoked an ice cold rage which made Jimmy impervious to both reason and pain. He turned on them with a ferocity they had never encountered in someone so much smaller than themselves.

The fight was witnessed by several awe-struck classmates, who had no need to come to his assistance even if they'd wanted to. On the contrary it was they who after he had disabled one boy, pulled him off the bigger lad whose head he was pounding onto the pavement in a methodical manner that was as effective as it was vicious. The word quickly went around the school and he was never bullied again. In fact he became something of a hero to the smaller boys who found their lives improved out of all recognition by his action, and began to look on him as an easygoing protector. What neither they nor anyone else ever knew, was what he did to the bullying pair later, to drive the lesson home.

Not far from the school was an alleyway serving a series of dilapidated garages which ran between the back gardens of a couple of rows of houses built on a steep hill. Because it was so narrow, access even for a small car was virtually impossible so none of the owners used the buildings for their original purpose except for the extra storage they provided.

The alley had become over the years first a shortcut, and then as the local youngsters discovered it's possibilities, a test of cycling courage and skill by which they could measure and judge each other. It was steep enough to be both scary and exciting with, about halfway down, a very sharp turn to the left followed almost immediately by an equally acute turn to the right. The technique for getting round this zigzag was to lean over so far that the wheels of the cycle were almost losing traction in the left hand turn then with a swift kick to the ground, wrench the cycle over the other way to negotiate the second half.

During the summer, competitions were held to see who could get from the top to the bottom of the hill the fastest, and much surreptitious practising took place whenever an event was imminent. Juvenile etiquette considered this practising rather chicken, but nevertheless they all did it. After some serious thought and investigation of it's possibilities, Jimmy had decided that the alley was exactly what he needed and when the time came, made one simple preparation.

He bided his time until after school one day his erstwhile enemies, who by then were leaving him severely alone, headed towards the alley. A contest was coming up and he had no doubt that they were planning a few practice runs down the hill in preparation. He followed them, taking care not to be seen, and as soon as they were out of sight beyond the dogleg, placed a line of discarded and mouldering bricks at the point where he knew from experience that the bicycle was most unstable, the point where the change of balance and direction had to be made. Then, his preparations complete, he put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall of one of the garages and waited.

The first boy saw the obstacle too late to do anything about it and with a yell, parted company from his bike and took a spectacular header over the handlebars. He hit the fence with what Jimmy felt was a very satisfactory thud. The second boy following close behind hit both the bricks and the ruined cycle and crashed, bike and all, into the first lad as he lay in a heap against the fence. Jimmy surveyed the destruction with immense satisfaction, then still with his hands in his pockets, strolled over to the bawling pair.

"You need new bikes," he told them calmly, then added in a even voice, devoid of all emotion, "I did that." He nodded at the bricks, "And if you touch me again or tell anyone, you'll need more than new bikes. You'll need new balls too, 'cos you won't have these ones." Very gently he pushed the toe of his trainer into the groin of the older boy. Both boys who had recently discovered the true significance (and pleasure) of the organs in question froze.

They believed him. After his previous retaliation they knew something of his temperament, and his voice held the sort of understated tone and lack of emotion that convinces utterly. He was simply stating an immutable fact.

Both boys ended up in Casualty, one with a broken arm, the other with a fractured rib and with the combined loss of a fair amount of skin between them. Neither even considered laying a hand on him, and neither ever spoke of it again, even to each other.

Like everyone else, apart from the victims, Jimmy's parents knew nothing about the affair. Had they done so, they might have remembered similar though far less serious incidents in his youth which when added together implied that he could be a very bad enemy indeed, and one whom it was unwise to provoke. Certainly the bike incident was excessive. But in his defence, the two boys were both bigger and older than him, he was only eleven at the time, and had bullied him quite seriously over several weeks and on a few occasions, even hurt him badly.

It was characteristic of him that he settled his accounts himself and revealed nothing to his parents or anyone else. even when being questioned closely after the pair had beaten him up the first time. He had explained the marks on his face by claiming to have fallen off his bike.

His parents had married late in life by the standards of the day and Jimmy's arrival several years later was something of a surprise to them both. Staunch Catholics who had been sinking imperceptibly into the staidness of late middle age before he was born, and decades away from their own youth, they had settled into a lifestyle rather more suitable to people in their late sixties than a couple with a lively youngster on their hands.

His mother who came from a family that had produced only girls had no experience of growing boys and treated him sometimes as a baby and at others as a small adult. It certainly never crossed her mind that he was a sexual being and if it had, she would not have dreamed of thinking about it much less discussing it, even with her husband. Such subjects were not nice, and in any case, did not apply to innocent children.

It came therefore as something of a shock, when he came home after games one day wearing football kit, the shorts of which he was rapidly outgrowing. Looking at them idly to see if he needed a new pair, she noticed that they seemed to fit him strangely and bulged considerably in the front. It looked almost as if he had stuffed something down there. She was about to ask him what it was, when something stopped her. Could he have ... was it possible that he had grown there? Comparing what he looked like the last time she had seen him naked (years ago) to his father, she had always vaguely supposed that it would get a little bigger but had assumed that it would happen gradually like the rest of his growth. Now it seemed as if it must all have happened rather suddenly, and she didn't like the thought much. In fact his voice had broken so discreetly that she hadn't noticed it at all, putting down to a slight cold the rather attractive huskiness it had developed.

Both parents were taken aback. He was after all only just twelve, and they had assumed in the invariable fashion of parents, that he would still be a small and sexless boy for some years to come. If not forever. The thought that he had already reached puberty took some getting used to and his mother in particular, completely missed the sexual implications. If anyone had pointed out to her that he had been perfectly capable of fathering children for some weeks, she would have been both astonished and indignant. Her son wasn't like that at all, she would have told them.

It didn't cross her mind that he might be having any sort of sex life, let alone an active one, and if the thought had occurred to her, she would have dismissed it on the unassailable grounds that he was both an innocent child and a Catholic. Obviously, no carefully brought up Catholic boy would ever take the risk of dying in a state of mortal sin by even thinking about anything of a sexual nature until after he was married.

A frigid woman and one moreover, married to a man whose own rather tepid interest in sex had atrophied at an exceptionally early age, neither parent had any conception of the overpowering compulsion that was stirring in their son.

In point of fact he was already deriving so much pleasure from masturbation, he had started to seriously question the teachings of a church that was as uncompromising in it's condemnation of thinking about sex, as it was about actually doing it. This didn't make a lot of sense to him. How on earth could thinking about something be as bad as actually doing it? If he thought about killing someone, was it as bad as actually finding a gun and shooting them? It was just stupid. In any case, he couldn't have given sex up even if he'd wanted to, which he most emphatically did not!

Jimmy who had a pretty shrewd idea of the way his parents' minds worked, took care to behave exactly as he had done before, and when his father asked him with somewhat heavy handed jocularity if he had a girl friend yet, replied that though there were several girls that he quite liked, he hadn't settled on anyone in particular. His father who had intended to do his duty and give Jimmy a little talk about the birds and the bees, found at the last minute that he was quite unable to do it and was pleased with the answer, which indicated that he didn't need the talk anyway.

His mother was less pleased. She had known from the day of his birth that no girl would ever be good enough for him, and consequently resented him even mentioning the fact that there were girls he liked.

For his part, Jimmy thought that he'd handled it rather well and changed the subject to school and his friends, mentioning in an offhand manner that one of them had invited him to stay the night during half term. He knew that they needed time to think about things like that, and wanted to sow the seed sufficiently far in advance for it to take root. In fact his mother was pleased to give permission. There had been worrying stories in the news about women who preyed on young boys. Not that Jimmy would ever be tempted of course, but all the same, he would be quite safe in the company of a male friend.

Had they known it, the friend in question was a couple of years older than he was and the person who had originally introduced him to the joys of masturbation. Even before reaching puberty, Jimmy had taken to it like a duck to water and while thoroughly enjoying their mutual sessions, was beginning to wonder if there wasn't a lot more to the business than he had been shown so far. He was hoping that they would take matters further during the projected visit, and was looking forward to it with breathless excitement.

Unfortunately, the boy turned out to be very nervous about doing anything more than mutual masturbation. He wasn't gay and what they had been doing was simply a substitute. He was fourteen years old and beginning to wonder what on earth he had got himself into with this demented, sex-mad kid two years younger than himself. That he enjoyed wanking with him went without saying but he was beginning to think and dream about girls and had no intention of indulging in anything other than a simple, almost instantaneous release, with Jimmy. The overnight stay was a disappointment and although Jimmy was still attracted to him, he realised that the boy wouldn't, or couldn't, give him what he wanted. Even though he himself didn't know yet what it was.

Over the next four years, he had several relationships all of which he enjoyed very much. He chose his partners well, or was fortunate in those who chose him, and not the slightest breath of playground scandal ever touched him. At the age of fifteen, by which time he knew what happened to anyone discovered to be queer, he quietly let it be known that he had had it off with a woman older than himself. This was instantly believed because his desperately frustrated companions wanted to believe it, but mostly because of his reputation for telling the truth. His stock in the playground rose even higher. In fact the story was perfectly true and had happened when he and his parents had gone to the wedding of the son of an old friend of theirs.

He had been eyeing an attractive lad around his own age when one of the guests, a little tipsy, took him out into the garden and deftly relieved him of his virginity. She enjoyed it rather more than he did and if his reactions were rather slow for a boy of his age, she put it down to nervousness and found it to her advantage. Jimmy enjoyed the orgasm but couldn't help comparing the feel of her body, which was a little past it's best, with that of the lad he was currently involved with. She was soft and flabby in comparison, and although he investigated her breasts and groin with interest beforehand, once the act was completed, he was in no particular mind to do it again. He politely extricated himself as soon as he could and went back to the reception, unaware that he was showing signs of the encounter on his clothes to the amusement, not to say envy, of one or two of the more sharp-eyed and knowing of the male guests. His parents of course noticed nothing apart from the fact that he looked a little dishevelled, which they put down to the lateness of the hour and the fact that he had been allowed one very small glass of champagne earlier.

The result of this solitary experience was that he was frequently called on to describe to his envious friends exactly what it was like to do it, and his body's natural reaction to the sexy talk would send him off to relieve his feelings with a vigour that delighted his current (male) sex partner.

In fact with one exception, all his affairs were with boys older than himself and the one time that he was attracted to a younger boy, he discovered that once he had achieved his aim the boy was rather uninteresting. They had little in common apart from sex, and even there, Jimmy didn't get what he really wanted. He tried to talk the younger boy into letting him take things further but the lad, in spite of his youth and lack of experience, firmly refused. All he would permit was the usual mutual masturbation. He never allowed Jimmy to kiss him and to Jimmy's disappointment, didn't want any foreplay either. He was already confirmed in his heterosexuality and the sex with Jimmy was again, nothing more than an experimental substitute until something better, a girl for instance, came along. It was the second, and last time, that Jimmy would misjudge another person's needs.

As he got older, he began to feel that there was something missing in each of the relationships he had experienced so far. There was always physical desire of course, admiration and enjoyment of the other's body and even a meeting sometimes of minds. But all it really amounted to was sex, and much as he needed and enjoyed that, he felt that there had to be something more to it. His relationships as he moved from his fifteenth into his sixteenth year, were as much a search for this elusive element, as for his ever increasing need for sexual release as his hormones peaked.

And then, three weeks after his sixteenth birthday, he fell instantly, hopelessly, and head over heels in love.

The change in him was astonishing. Instead of the confident and mature sexual being he had been, secure in his ability to get anyone and almost anything he wanted, he found himself totally at sea, and floundering in a welter of doubts and difficulties that he had no idea how to overcome.

Things had always come easily to him. He had known exactly what, and who, he wanted, had gone out and got them, and almost always they had fallen into his hand without too much effort. Every boy that he ever wanted he had got sooner or later, and it had made him complacent and a little blasé. But this time the object of his desire was, even to his own mind, unobtainable. It was one of his teachers.

Jonathan Melton was twenty-five, had recently completed his degree and teacher training course, and this was his first teaching post. He had taught at Jimmy's school for half a term as a student teacher during his training, and made such a good impression that he was offered a job as soon as he qualified. He was just the sort of teacher the head was looking for. Young, so in spite of his degree his salary was comparatively low, enthusiastic, a first class teacher who would be a formidable one after a few years experience, and also a good Catholic who had considered entering the priesthood at one time but realised, regretfully, that he had no vocation.

An only child, after the death of his parents in a car accident when he was in his early twenties, he had felt very lonely and turned to teaching as a way of surrounding himself with children for whom he had a genuine liking. He had no need to work as his father had been a highly successful stockbroker who left everything him, but Jonathan had been brought up to believe that everyone had a duty to give something to the community they lived in.

He soon discovered that he was a born teacher and had thrown himself into his training as a way of easing his grief at the loss of his parents, and also, to suppress certain feelings that had troubled him since his adolescence and which he had no intention of ever acknowledging.

He hadn't noticed Jimmy particularly during his teaching practice as he had been assigned to a younger class, and if he saw him during his stints of playground duty, Jimmy was merely one out of seven hundred shouting, running, playing boys. More attractive than most, but there was no harm in thinking that, provided the thought went no further.

Because he was very keen on sport, he was asked to help with the school Badminton team when it became known that he had played at County level as a teenager. The sports master was rather scornful of the game (which he had never played) being, as he told everyone at the slightest excuse (or none at all), a football, cricket and rugby man. So he was glad to turn the badminton team over to Jon. After attending a session to assure himself that Jon knew what he was doing, and Jon knew a great deal more about it than he did as he freely admitted, he was able to go off with a clear conscience to concentrate on the football team which was his pride and joy.

Jon was determined to build up a good team, and recalling the pleasure he had got out of it, made up his mind to take them into the Inter-School and then the County championships if at all possible. As soon as he was left on his own, he paired the boys off and had them play some short matches to test their ability. Once he had decided who the best player was, he took him on himself and thrashed the astonished lad thoroughly in five minutes flat without letting him score a single point. He could have done it in an even shorter time but didn't want to give the boy too much of a complex. All the boys, including his opponent were in their own vernacular, completely gob smacked, and when he turned to them with a grin, not even breathing hard, and announced that he would teach them all to play like that if they were prepared to do the work, his star was set and like puppies, they fell over themselves to please him.

For Jimmy it was rather different. Like the others he wanted to please Mr Melton, but, he also wanted a lot more than that. To achieve the first, he realised that he would have to stand out from the crowd if he was to get noticed, so he worked harder at his game than he had ever worked at anything in his life, and with his natural co-ordination and quick reflexes, it wasn't long before he was one of the stars of the fledgling team.

Regarding the second, things were not so straight forward. Apart from his brief affair with the younger boy he had almost always been the pursued and not the pursuer, and had no idea how to change roles. He would lie awake at night dreaming about what might happen if Jon did this, or said that, but his logical mind knew that this was fantasy and that if he really wanted to achieve his aims, he would have to do something about it himself. Nothing was going to happen of it's own accord. He knew that Jon liked him. But then Jon liked all of them, and played no favourites. The time he spent coaching Jimmy was sheer bliss, but he spent no more time with him than he did with the other members of the team, and whereas the touch of Jon's hand when correcting his posture or grip was enough to trigger a new masturbatory fantasy, Jimmy was forced to admit that it seemed to have no effect on Jon himself.

As the weeks became months Jon's casual interest in him as a person didn't seem to change but at the same time, his own slowly learned techniques for attracting people were improving with time and practice. He certainly worked as hard at them as he did at badminton.

Although he seemed to be getting nowhere in his determined, if discreet pursuit, it never crossed his mind that Jon might be interested in women. He was abundantly blessed with the instinct that many gay people have, which allows them to recognise people of their own persuasion, and he knew exactly what Jon was. But whether he himself was what Jon wanted, was an entirely different kettle of fish. He simply didn't know. Then at practise one day he sprained his ankle.

He was tired after a strenuous session, went for a difficult shot, misjudged it badly and totally off balance, came down heavily on the side of his foot. It was agonising and he collapsed onto the floor. Within minutes, his ankle was twice the size it should have been and the urgently summoned games master had sent the rest of the team home and gratefully accepted a very worried Jonathan's offer to drive Jimmy to the hospital to have it checked. They were unable to get in touch with Jimmy's parents and it was out of the question for him to go to the hospital on his own. The games master, with an important football match in the offing had no wish to cancel his own training session, so after assuring Jimmy that the school would contact his parents as soon as possible, he went back to his team.

Jon brought his car round, put an arm around Jimmy to keep as much weight as possible off his ankle, and helped him into it. Under normal circumstances Jimmy would have been in a seventh heaven of delight, but was in far too much pain to enjoy it.

Luckily the casualty department was not very busy and Jimmy was seen fairly quickly. Only the fact that Jon was with him and he would rather have died than show himself up in front of him, stopped him yelling when the nurse removed his trainer and sock. The young doctor who examined him took one look, called for a wheelchair and sent him straight up to be x-rayed.

Here they were not so fortunate. There were several people waiting and the department seemed to be short staffed. For the first time, Jon really talked to him as a way of distracting Jimmy from the pain in his ankle. Before that there had been neither the reason or the opportunity to talk on their own, and Jon found himself enjoying the experience more than he would have thought possible. He found Jimmy's mind interesting and their talk ranged over a wide variety of topics, mainly on the subject of school of course, but they also discovered that many of their interests coincided from music, to nature and ecology. In spite of being nine years older than he was, Jon had a youthfully enthusiastic outlook on life and this coupled with Jimmy's maturity, put them on an equal footing in a way that belied the relationship of teacher and pupil.

Jimmy, relaxed and content to have the object of his desire completely to himself, found himself talking more freely than he usually did and Jon, who had not yet made many friends since taking up his teaching post, found himself drawn to the boy. They were deep in a conversation about what the future might be like, when it was Jimmy's turn to be seen.

While he was being x-rayed Jon took the opportunity to ring the school. They still hadn't been able to contact his parents, so he offered to take Jimmy home and stay with him until they got there. A rather white faced Jimmy was returned to him, and there was another long wait until they were called in to see the doctor again. This time Jon went in with him to be told that there was no sign of a break and that as soon as Jimmy had been strapped up he could be taken home. A very relieved Jon, who had visions of the school being sued if Jimmy had broken his ankle, noted down one or two instructions and promised to pass them on to the boy's parents. Jimmy was lent a pair of crutches to get him to the car park and made a rather dramatic exit with them, thoroughly enjoying the attention and sympathy they evoked from the patients still waiting to be seen.

By the time Jon had helped him into the car and returned the crutches it was quite late so he bought fish and chips for them on the way. It had been a long time since lunch and Jimmy was starving. They ate companionably at the kitchen table still talking about whatever came into their heads and soon after they finished Jimmy's parents arrived, and after explaining what had happened and receiving their thanks, Jon went home himself.

Like most boys, Jimmy would have been delighted to take a few days off school on the strength of his injury, but nothing was going to keep him at home now that fate had played so splendidly into his hands. Over his mother's objections he was back at school the following day. He couldn't face not seeing Jon, even if it was only for a few minutes. He also wanted to make sure that Jon didn't forget about him, so after school he hobbled painfully down to the gym to watch the badminton practise and was immediately roped in to referee some of the matches while Jon coached team members individually.

He would have preferred to watch Jon all the time, so did as short a stint as possible then handed over to someone else, explaining that he wanted to watch the coaching to improve his own game. He hauled himself onto the vaulting box and when Jon finished and sprang up athletically to sit beside him and ask how his ankle was, he was delighted.

"I thought the doctor said that you were to rest it for a day or two. Most people would have taken the chance to have a day or two off, so why are you in school today?"

Jimmy almost replied, "To see you," but stopped himself in time and gave as an excuse his approaching exams.

Jon frowned at him. "You usually walk home don't you. Is someone picking you up?"

"No," Jimmy replied, "I can catch the bus. My dad dropped me on his way to work this morning, but he doesn't get home 'til after I do."

"How far do you have to walk?"

"Well it's a bit far at the other end but I'll be okay," Jimmy assured him, pleased at having his attention. He hadn't realised that Jon knew that he walked home, and happily stored the fact in his mind.

"Look," Jon told him, "As the doctor told you, you really shouldn't be walking too much, otherwise you're going to find that it takes longer to heal. I go in your direction and I'll drop you home. I need you back in the team," he added and turned his attention to the match in progress.

While those who wanted to had a quick shower Jon, who was careful to stay out of the room while the boys were there, took down the nets and tidied up, refusing Jimmy's offer to help on the grounds that if he was taking Jimmy home to save him using his ankle, there was little point in him prancing around on it beforehand. Jimmy grinned back at him and thought about his next move. The intimacy that they had shared at the hospital had done wonders for his confidence and he determined to make a meal of going out to the car in the hopes that Jon would feel that he needed some support again. As it happened, when he got down from the box, his ankle had got stiff, and his wince as he put his weight on it and began to limp to the door was only slightly exaggerated.

Jon took his bag saying rather curtly, "Here, lean on me."

Jimmy obeyed, feeling surprised and a little hurt at his tone. A few minutes before he had been smiling and joking with Jimmy and the rest of the boys as they left noisily to go home. But now ... ? Without speaking they walked to the car park. Unsure of himself again, Jimmy tried not to put too much weight on Jon and even considered telling him that he could manage on his own. But the contact was too pleasant to give up lightly, so he said nothing.

If Jimmy had known it, Jon had realised all at once that his offer to help had been prompted as much by a wish to touch the boy as to save his ankle, and he was worried about what anyone who saw them might think.

He drove to the house in silence and Jimmy who had been planning to ask him if he would like to come in for a cup of tea or coffee, could only mutter his thanks as he got out of the car.

Jon's short "Can you manage?" did nothing at all for his self-confidence and he simply nodded and went into the house, turning to give Jon a small wave as he opened the door.

Jon sat in the car for a moment, his conscience pricking him. It wasn't the boy's fault he told himself, thinking of Jimmy's unhappy face, so why did I take it out of him like that? There didn't seem to be an answer to this and he determined not to let himself get into the same situation again. After debating and rejecting the idea of getting out of the car to speak to Jimmy, he drove home.

Meanwhile Jimmy had gone straight upstairs and thrown himself on his bed wondering what he had done wrong. Going over what had happened, he could see no reason for Jon's change of mood and his misery suddenly overcoming him, started to cry into his pillow. Telling himself that he was far to old to cry didn't help at all, but eventually he calmed down and by the time his mother got home from work had washed his face and completed some of his homework. He was a bit silent and withdrawn which she put it down to his ankle and reminded him that she'd told him not to go to school that day as she re-bandaged it to make him more comfortable. He didn't go to school the next day and decided not to watch the badminton sessions after school when he did return.

Jon, entirely against his will, found himself looking out for Jimmy the next day and was vaguely worried when he didn't see him. There was no reason why he should have seen him of course, it was a very big school after all. But he made it his business to talk to Jimmy's form tutor, using as an excuse the fact that he had taken the boy to casualty. He didn't mention that he had given Jimmy a lift the previous day. There was nothing at all wrong in it, but he felt slightly uncomfortable and didn't want to give the impression that he was too interested in the boy.

Jimmy's mother had phoned apparently to say that his ankle was quite swollen and that he wouldn't be in that day. Not surprising the form master added, he shouldn't have come in the day before in the first place. But he's an independent lad and I don't suppose he listens much to what his mother says if he doesn't want to.

Relieved that it was a physical problem and not his own attitude that had caused the absence, Jon left it at that. After all, apart from the fact that Jimmy was one of his best players with a real talent for the game, he meant no more to him than any of the other boys, but it would do no harm to make it up to him somehow. He had no wish to lose him from the team, which was shaping up well. Oblivious to the inconsistency in his thinking, he went to his next class with an untroubled mind. He caught the odd glimpse of Jimmy from time to time over the next few days but didn't get a chance to speak to him and told himself that he would see the boy at the next practise session. But Jimmy wasn't there.

In fact Jimmy had planned to go and watch but had chickened out at the last minute when he remembered how Jon had changed towards him. He went straight home after school instead and spent the entire evening cursing himself for a missed opportunity. His ankle was healing rapidly and he knew that he wouldn't have the excuse to get Jon to support him for very much longer.

For his part, Jon felt a surprising pang of disappointment when Jimmy didn't appear. He had been unconsciously looking forward to talking to him, though he had decided that he definitely wouldn't be offering any more lifts. For the first time since starting to train the team, his coaching was rather lacklustre and all in all, it was a less than satisfactory session all round for everyone.

He called Jimmy across to him the next day when he was on duty in the playground to ask him why he hadn't come to watch the practise.

"We missed you," he said, "and I think that you can pick up some tips even if you can't play at the moment."

Jimmy was pleased, going from depression to elation in one second flat and agreed to come and watch in future.

Before going to the gym for the next session, he went into the toilets and removed the crepe bandage supporting his ankle and put it on again much too tightly. By the end of the session he was genuinely feeling uncomfortable and while Jon was tidying up, pulled up his trouser leg and slowly unwound the bandage.

"What's the matter Jimmy?"

"I put this on too tightly," Jimmy answered. "I find it hard to get it just right," he confided innocently. "Sometimes it's too tight and others times I get it too loose and it doesn't support me at all. It's even worse when my mother does it, she never gets it right."

Jon said goodnight to the team and came over to him. "You'd better let me do it, I've had some first aid training."

He took the untidy bundle of crepe Jimmy handed him, rolled it up neatly and carefully re-bandaged the ankle.

"Okay?" he asked.

Jimmy was tempted to say that it wasn't, so that he would have to take it off and do it again, but thought better of it.

"That's fine sir, thanks. Much better. I'd better be getting home then."

Before he could stop himself Jon said, "If you can hang on for a minute while I fetch some books, I'll drop you off."

"That would be great, thank you. My ankle's usually sore by the time I get home and a lift would be nice," Jimmy answered.

Wondering what had come over him, Jon said, "Come on then," helped him up and supported him out to the car, forgetting that Jimmy had walked to the gym completely unaided earlier.

When they got to the house, Jimmy was prepared and asked Jon in, as a thank you for bringing me home, as he told him. Somewhat reluctantly, Jon agreed and they spent the next hour discussing all sorts of topics until Jon realised with a start how much time had passed. He left hurriedly leaving behind a happy, satisfied boy who spent the remainder of the evening in a daze and got no homework done at all.

By the time Jimmy was able to play again, the routine of being driven home was so established that neither of them considered changing it. None of the other members of the team had thought it strange or even worth remarking on. Jon was well liked because although firm, he was always fair and never withheld praise when they played well or did something to please him, and Jimmy was not only admired as one of the best players, he was popular in his own right.

something of a hero in their eyes because of his supposed sexual exploits, he had been wise when he spread the story of his seduction round the playground. If one of their number had suggested that he might be queer it would have provoked incredulous laughter, so convinced were they of his heterosexuality. All this made a very effective and efficient smoke screen for the growing intimacy between master and pupil, unconscious on one side and actively promoted on the other.

Their evening talks were a solace to them both but particularly to Jon who was still trying to find his feet in the school. He knew that he was a good teacher and was already achieving good results with his classes, but he was very conscientious and continually strove for better results. He found talking to Jimmy relaxing and stimulating while giving him a useful insight into how his pupils thought. And for his part, Jimmy for the first time in his life, was beginning to care very deeply for someone. He wanted Jon very much, day dreamed about him, the sort of impossible day dreams that adolescent boys have of running away and living romantically together, dreamed and wet-dreamed about him at night, and concentrated all of his masturbatory fantasies on Jon's face and body. He was sure that Jon felt the same way about him as well. He had a way of occasionally dropping a hand on his shoulder which thrilled Jimmy to the core, and it seemed to him that these casual physical contacts were slowly becoming more frequent.

Once or twice, when Jon wanted to show him something in one of his large collection of books they went to his flat after practise, but he always seemed more inhibited there, as if he felt guilty about having Jimmy there at all. Or possibly he was just more aware of the dangers of the relationship at those times.

Jimmy, becoming more and more frustrated, determined to push things. He had been certain that he had seen Jon trying to disguise a distinct bulge in his trousers on several occasions when they had been together, and he felt secure enough to try something that he had been contemplating for some weeks.

During his final practise match one afternoon he deliberately staged a stumble and pretended that he had wrenched his ankle again. He came off the court saying that he would be all right in a moment and watched with pride as Jon taking over from him, trounced his opponent while at the same time making the boy feel that he had played well. Jimmy delayed in the shower until the others were finished and dressed. As he soaped and rinsed himself, he heard them leaving and the sound of Jon putting things away. He knew that he and Jon were alone and the thought of this combined with his nakedness had given him an aching erection. When he heard the door open he quickly turned the water off and came out of the shower stall reaching for his towel. He saw Jon stop dead, heard his quick indrawn breath and then the hasty movement as he turned to leave.

Jimmy put out a hand. "Don't," he said softly, "Please, Jon." Neither of them noticed his use of the name.

"Jimmy... " Jon said in a tight voice. He felt he shouldn't look at the large, stiff penis jutting out from Jimmy's groin, but couldn't help himself.

"It's all right, I want you to," Jimmy said, correctly divining his thoughts.

Jon's eyes went up to Jimmy's face, the serious grey eyes, then involuntarily returned to the jaunty penis in it's nest of curly blonde hair and the full, tight, sack beneath. Even to save his life he couldn't have moved as Jimmy towelled himself briefly then walked towards him. As Jimmy dropped the damp towel unheedingly on the floor and put his arms around him, the tension suddenly left Jon's body, rushed into his own penis and filled it to bursting. He sagged against Jimmy who, though a couple of inches shorter than himself, supported him strongly.

"Jimmy," he whispered, "We mustn't do this."

"Shh," Jimmy quieted him with a gentle hand against his lips, "We must." And putting both hands on Jon's shoulders, urged him down onto his knees. "Please, Jon."

Jon had never sucked anyone before, but the sight of Jimmy's eager young organ standing so proudly before him was irresistible. Instinctively wetting his lips and curling them over his teeth to protect the sensitive skin, he lowered his head.

It was miraculous. Warm and firm, but so strange that at first he was content just to enjoy the sensation of it in his mouth. It had a feeling of rightness about it and he suddenly knew it was something he had always wanted to do, and was grateful to Jimmy for giving him the opportunity. He felt Jimmy's fingers come into his hair and slid his own hands up the outside of the smoothly muscled thighs to rest on Jimmy's hips. Jimmy was beginning to tremble and the teacher part of him thought, he'll catch cold, then the sexual side realised that it was excitement, desire and imminent orgasm.

Tentatively he sucked gently and rhythmically, almost as if he was kissing the stiff tube while at the same time massaging with his tongue the sensitive part where the head flared out. He felt the boy stiffen then thrust forward making a soft sound in the back of his throat. He had a brief moment to wonder what Jimmy's sperm would taste like before he found out. Jimmy came and came, and before Jon could swallow, it was spilling out of his mouth, running down his chin and dripping onto the floor. His own cock jerked in sympathy and he remained as he was, gently bringing Jimmy down until the pressure of the boy's hands on his shoulders made him realise that Jimmy had virtually collapsed and was only keeping himself upright by leaning on him. Slowly and reluctantly he let the boy's penis slip out of his mouth and got to his feet so that he could support Jimmy with one arm. His other hand couldn't resist taking hold of the wet and still hard penis, with it's swollen, dark red head. Jimmy jumped as he touched it, and to Jon's fascination, more sperm oozed out of the tiny slit.

They stood together for a few minutes before Jimmy's arms came round to hold him tightly and he murmured quietly, "My turn," and urged him over to the bench against the far wall. Jon felt he should protest but Jimmy was so masterful, and he himself in such a frenzy of frustrated desire by then, that he just stood still as Jimmy slid his track suit trousers down, then his underpants. His own penis sprang up, stiff and dripping. The boy looked at it's thick six inch length admiringly for a moment, then pushed him down to sit on the bench and began to caress his balls. At Jimmy's touch, Jon's back arched and his stomach drew in sharply. The boy's fingers felt as if they were charged with electricity as they moved over the crinkled skin then leaving their prize, the hands moved up under the top of his track suit and gently explored his nipples. There was a half smile on Jimmy's face as his hands moved slowly, caressingly, down again, brushing lightly through the brown pubic hair. Jon closed his eyes as he felt Jimmy's tongue touch the slit, then gradually move in circles over the head. Then just when he felt he could bear it no longer, he was grasped in a firm young fist. Jimmy wasted no time. He knew that Jon's suppressed frustrations needed rapid, immediate, relief.

"Stand up," he said tugging Jon up gently by his penis. "I want to see you squirt across the room."

As he stood up, Jimmy moved him until his back was against the wall. It was sharply cold against his naked buttocks but by then he was too close coming to notice, and as Jimmy cupped his balls with his one hand and began to masturbate him with the other it was too much for his overcharged cock. The feeling was incredible enough to draw a gasp from him as his balls tightened and pulled up hard as he started to come, his thick white sperm jetting out as if glad to be released. Like his young partner, he came much more than he usually did, and also like his partner, found it drew the day's tension out of him as efficiently as a top class masseur. He slumped down onto the bench, breathing hard and hugging the naked boy standing between his open legs.

They cleaned up without speaking, both too full of what had happened to feel the need for words. It was only when he was driving Jimmy home that Jon said quietly, "We'll have to be very careful..."

Jimmy nodded, thinking of his friends. "I know," he replied.

Over the next few week, the affair blossomed although Jimmy, who had thought that once the ice was broken everything would be plain sailing, found he had to use every ounce of his considerable powers of seduction to induce Jonathan to touch him again. Once the euphoria of that first episode had worn off, Jon became more and more worried and guilty about it. Knowing that Jimmy had been the prime mover did nothing to ease his feelings. He knew that he should have resisted him and was under no illusions as to what would happen if they were ever found out. He determined, that satisfying as it had been, they should never do it again. It was too dangerous. He also had his religion inspired guilt to cope with.

As he had moved from his excessively guilt ridden teens to maturity, Jon had begun to wonder about this homophobia, and although it would have been too much to say that he was seriously questioning the principle of eternal damnation, it was beginning to seem a rather excessive punishment for a few minutes of mental or physical pleasure. That bridge however, could be crossed when the time came. What was more immediately to the point, was the fact that the law in Britain was equally homophobic, even more medieval, and a great deal more relevant to his present situation. His blood ran cold at the thought that anyone could have walked into the showers. Neither of them had given a thought to locking the door, he didn't even know if there was a key. And supposing they had locked it and someone wanted to get in? It would have been just as bad!

There had been enough press reports of similar cases for him to know what he would face if they were ever discovered, and the thought was not an easy one to live with.

None of this troubled the insouciant Jimmy in the slightest. He was in love, had achieved what he had set out to do, thoroughly enjoyed it, and expected as a matter of course that the affair would continue as his affairs had always done, once the initial seduction had taken place. He had never been rejected and had been fortunate enough to have relationships with boys who were as eager as he was, once a certain amount of token reluctance had been overcome. Having, as he thought, overcome Jon's reluctance, he was completely taken aback after the next practise session when he again delayed his shower until after the others had left. He would have had to do this anyway as the thought of what was to come had left him with a painfully erect penis, and knew only too well how the other boys would have taken the mickey if they had seen it. He came out of the shower fully expecting Jon to be there but his coach didn't even come into the room. Baffled and disappointed, he dressed and went to find Jon. It had occurred to him that perhaps there was someone else there which would explain it but Jon was alone. Jimmy went up to him.

"I was waiting for you," he said, frowning slightly, "Now you'll have to undress me."

Jon tried to keep his face cold. "I don't think we should do it again Jimmy," he said. "I could get into terrible trouble over it. I could even go to jail."

"No-one will ever know," Jimmy replied flatly, "Do you think I'd tell anyone?"

"Of course not, but anyone could have walked in, then what would have happened?"

Jimmy smiled. "It would have been embarrassing, but we're not ashamed of it, are we?" When he saw the look on Jon's face, his smile faded. He came closer to Jon and grasped his upper arms.

"Are you ashamed, Jon? Because you shouldn't be. There was nothing wrong in what we did. I wanted it and you wanted it. You can't say you didn't. I know you wanted me as badly as I wanted you, and what's wrong with that? Oh sure, it's against the law, but the law's stupid and unfair. I'm sixteen now and if I was a girl it would be quite all right, quite legal, and nobody would care, not even the law. Nobody could say a thing against us." He stopped speaking, his face tense.

Jon looked at him sadly. "I know that Jimmy," he said gently, "But you're not a girl and whether the law is unfair or not, that's the way it is. You've got to understand that I'm the one who's at risk. They probably wouldn't do anything to you because you're under twenty one. But they'd hit me with everything they've got and what they haven't got they'd find. And enjoy doing it!"

Jimmy's grip on his arms tightened. "They have to catch us first," he said. "All right, I know we were stupid the other day, it's just ... well we couldn't wait, at least I couldn't. We'll just be more careful from now on."

Jon shook his head at him, not convinced but at the same time beginning to wonder if there was a way that they could meet safely.

"Nothing will happen, it will be okay. I know it will, and ... " Jimmy paused to add weight to his next words and spoke very softly, "I don't just want you, I need you Jon. I really need you. I need you so much."

He had spoken instinctively and as he often did, used exactly the right words to fit the situation. Had he said only that he wanted Jon, it was quite likely that he would have got nowhere. It was his use of the word need that made the difference. That combined with the look on his face which went straight to Jon's heart. He put his arms around the boy and started to pull him against himself but Jimmy resisted him. Confused, Jon relaxed his grip and waited.

"You have to tell me something first Jon," Jimmy said. "You've got to tell me the truth, okay? No lies." Jimmy straightened his arms, pushing Jon away slightly so that he could look into his eyes. "Are you ashamed of what we did?" he asked in a flat, uninflected tone.

Jon knew that his answer was important. Not only to Jimmy, but to himself, his own feelings and to his development as a person. It had come right out of the blue he thought, the one thing I've never been prepared to think about because I was afraid of what the answer would be. Even as an adolescent he had not had many episodes with other boys, and certainly nothing remotely resembling an affair, so he didn't have much to go on. But thinking back to those quick, furtive fumblings, he realised that although he had suffered tremendous guilt afterwards, he had never actually felt ashamed of them.

Casting his mind forward to the episode with Jimmy when he had gone much further than he had ever dreamed of going with anyone, he knew that although guilt was there, though much less than in his earlier days, there was no shame. He had enjoyed looking at Jimmy naked and had enjoyed Jimmy looking at him. What had been really worrying him had been the fear of getting caught. Of actual shame, there was none, none at all. The realisation so pleased him that his face broke into a broad smile.

"Damn it Jimmy," he exclaimed. "No! I'm not ashamed, not one little bit!" and he pulled Jimmy against him and swung him round as if he was a small child. When he eventually put him down, Jimmy was grinning as widely as he was.

"Well, if that's the way you feel," he said, tugging Jon towards the shower room. Jon stopped him.

"Uh uh. No, Jimmy. Anyone could walk in here, the caretaker, one of the cleaners, anyone. We've got to find somewhere safer. Get your stuff and we'll talk in the car."

He parked outside Jimmy's house and they spent a frustrating half an hour discussing and rejecting several plans. Jonathan was adamant that he wouldn't go into the house with Jimmy on a regular basis because that was the one area in which he did feel guilty. Jimmy's parents trusted him as one of their son's teachers, and somehow doing anything in their house seemed to be a betrayal of that trust, and he was also aware of the danger of nosy neighbours who could easily ask out of simple curiosity who the strange man was who was visiting their son so often. It was the only reason he regretted he wasn't the same age as Jimmy.

"Oh Christ," Jimmy groaned at length, "There must be somewhere we can go."

"We can't use the school, we can't use your house, and we can't use my flat. There isn't much left."

"Why don't we go to the common?" Jimmy asked. "It's dark enough now."

Jon wasn't very keen but by then he was as aroused as Jimmy was, so they drove the few miles then walked into the wooded area. It was not very successful. They did get some relief out of it but both of them were nervous, and it was cold as well. They were rather silent as they drove back to the house.

"It wasn't very good, was it," Jon said as turned off the ignition.

"No, but it was better than nothing," Jimmy replied. "I really like to see though. And I want to do it again already. I don't suppose we could go into the house, just this once could we?" he asked wistfully.

"No Jimmy. I really don't think we should," Jon replied. "But don't worry, we'll think of something. We have to."

Taking some comfort from that, Jimmy waited until he had driven away then went into the house and up to his bedroom where he used his hand to good effect, thinking of Jon all the while. But it was not the same, by any means.

He managed to get a few words with Jon when he was on playground duty the next day but Jon indicated discreetly that he hadn't been able to come up with anything so far. His flat which was on the top floor of a converted house was far too public. The other tenants, being retired, were home most of the day and not having a great deal to do, took a lot of interest in their neighbours. To take Jimmy there was impossible. It was Jimmy who came up with a partial solution when they were sitting in the car after the next practise. He suggested to Jon that he offer to give him some extra tuition in English to help him with his exams.

"I could do with it and that way you'd be able to come to the house quite openly," he told Jon triumphantly. Although Jon still felt awkward, he finally agreed and Jimmy told his parents about it. They were pleased and grateful when Jon refused any payment on the grounds that Jimmy was a member of the badminton team, did a lot for him and this was his way of paying it back. He didn't enjoy the interview at all, knowing that he was seriously deceiving them, and made sure that he always left the house before they got home on the days that he tutored Jimmy.

Things continued in this rather unsatisfactory manner until Jon got the offer of a small house. He went to see it one afternoon, taking Jimmy and a couple of other members of the team with him for camouflage. The rent was quite high but with dividends from his father's shrewd investments coming in regularly as well as his salary and substantial inheritance, this was not really an issue. And the house was perfect. It was set back from the road with a high hedge around it and an attached garage reached from a door in the kitchen making it extremely private. It was only a twenty minute walk from Jimmy's house so they decided when they had a moment alone, that Jimmy could leave by the back door, slip through the gate into one of those strange footpaths that often run between London houses for no rhyme or reason, and walk home. Provided he was careful, no-one would know which house he had come from.

Jon was relieved, Jimmy was delighted, and the move from his flat was arranged for a Saturday, a project that the entire badminton team took charge of with great good humour and much joking and laughter. Jimmy pretended to go home with the others when it was done, then slipped back as soon as it was safe. His parents knew all about the move and he had explained that they would probably finish quite late as they were all going to help clean the place before they moved the furniture in. He would stay overnight with one of the team who lived close by and they would make an early start in the morning and try to have everything done by about six that evening. Mr Melton, he had carefully trained himself not to say Jon which would have shocked his strait-laced parents, had promised to give them a picnic lunch in the back garden if the weather held.

As a matter of fact the house was spotless, newly decorated, well furnished and Jon's few possessions had taken, with the cheerful assistance of the team, no more than a couple of hours to move. Mr and Mrs Evans were not to know this and were only too happy for Jimmy to have the opportunity to pay back some of the kindness he received from Mr Melton.

As he was about to unlocked the back door with the spare key that was now his, Jonathan opened it dragged him in, picked him up, carried him into the bedroom and dropped him onto the bed. Smiling happily, Jimmy was stripped in no time at all, and lay back with his arms under his head as his lover got out of his own clothes in nothing flat. Looking approvingly at the engorged penis standing straight out from Jon's body, he put out a gentle hand to fondle the neat balls affectionately. Then Jon was beside him on the bed, kissing and caressing him. Neither of them was in any mood for much foreplay, and it wasn't long before Jimmy, who tended to take the lead in their lovemaking, swivelled himself into the sixty-nine position, slid an arm under Jon's waist and took the yearning organ into his mouth while his own was being similarly engulfed.

While most of their lovemaking up to date had involved masturbation, they'd had enough practise by now to know where the other was particularly sensitive and they were both close to a climax in a very few minutes. Jimmy had been putting a well thought out plan into operation for some days and as he felt Jon getting close, gently began stroking his buttocks, slowly moving his fingers between them, then spreading them, and starting to stroke the orifice itself. As he felt Jon beginning to come, he worked a finger a little way into it, wishing it was his cock. The very thought, which he had dreamed about for so long, was enough to bring on his own shuddering orgasm and although the feeling was as overwhelming as always, he retained enough detachment to feel how the ring encircling his embedded finger tightened in time with Jon's spurts. They lay still for a few minutes, then Jimmy reluctantly withdrew his finger and slid back up the bed. It had become something of a ritual for them to kiss deeply after sixty-nining and share each others sperm, and they did so now then lay still, touching gently.

Jon knew what Jimmy wanted but had been careful not to show him how much the manipulation turned him on. Jimmy's fingers had gradually got bolder over the last few weeks but this was the first time that one had actually gone inside him. The next thing, inevitably, was going to be his cock, and he wasn't small. Jon had a feeling that it was going to hurt but much more important, he felt that if he allowed Jimmy to do this to him, it would turn him completely, and without any possibility of doubt, into a homosexual, and at the same time, compromise his masculinity. The sexual mores of the Judeo/Christian ethic under which he had been brought up, stated that only women who got screwed, never men. Even in Hellenic times according to what he had read, it was the older man who screwed his younger partner, never the other way round. Yet he had to admit to himself, he did want to try it at least once. Both ways. Jimmy had turned him on and even now was sliding his hand down his back and onto his buttocks again. That hand was not going to linger on the outer curves for long, as he knew from experience.

While he stroked Jimmy's nipples which were especially sensitive, he loved the way the tiny pimples started to harden, he debated with himself. He loved Jimmy and his love was growing stronger every day. He thought that Jimmy loved him in return, but he wasn't completely sure and until he was, he didn't feel that he could make this final surrender.

As if on cue, Jimmy who had reached his target and was enjoying his reaction said suddenly, "I do love you, you know."

Jon suddenly became very still. Can he read my mind? he asked himself. Jimmy seemed to have a knack of answering his thoughts in a way that was positively uncanny.

"Don't say that," he said rather roughly.

"Why shouldn't I?" Jimmy asked lazily, concentrating on his explorations.

"Don't say it unless you mean it. It's too important."

Jimmy looked at him appraisingly, his hands like Jon's, motionless. He too realised that this was a going to be a turning point in their relationship. Like on a journey by car, he must make sure that they took the road he wanted them to. He thought for a while about how best to put it into words then having decided what he wanted to say, opened his mouth and found his instincts taking precedence over his carefully thought out speech.

"I haven't said this before because I thought you knew, but I fell in love with you the very first time you were on playground duty. It was the first Wednesday of the term, and I watched you the whole time wondering what was happening to me. When people talked to me, I suppose I talked back but I don't remember anything else except you. You were wearing that green tie and your shoes were a bit dusty and I wanted to take out a tissue and clean them but I couldn't move. I just watched you, and I felt ... I don't know what I felt. At least I do now, but I didn't then. I just knew I'd never felt that way before. Then that night, I dreamt of you and after the dream woke me up, I knew. I'd been with boys before Jon, but I had never felt this way about any of them. I thought I was going to go mad I wanted you so badly. I still do of course. "

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask, so I thought you knew," Jimmy replied matter of factly. "What I don't know is whether you love me."

"You idiot," Jon said almost angrily. "Do you think I'd be in bed with you if I didn't?"

Jimmy's arms tightened. The car seemed to have successfully negotiated the traffic lights and to be running well. All he had to do now was steer it to the destination of his choice. His hand began to move down again. He had reached the base of the Jon's spine when Jon stopped him.

"Do you really want to do this to me?" he asked.

"More than anything in the world," Jimmy told him. "I've wanted to ever since I first saw you. In fact," he continued with a wicked grin, "Your bum was the first bit of you I did see. You were bending over one of the younger kids who had fallen and hurt himself when I came up behind you. I had to put my hands in my pockets to hide my hard-on and when you turned round and I saw your face I thought it was going to come bursting through the zip."

He paused for a moment, the grin fading and said seriously, "I want to do it very much, Jon, but I won't if you really don't want me to, though I hope you will. And afterwards," he said positively, "I want you to do it to me so that we both know what it feels like." .

"I want to do both too," Jon agreed, "But I've never done either before, so you'll have to tell me if it's okay."

"Jon. Dearest Jon," Jimmy said with a tiny chuckle his heart beating fast from excitement, "I haven't either. Nobody would ever let me, so I can't help you."

Jon started to laugh as well as they put their arms around each other.

"There are plenty of books telling men and women how to do it, but I've never come across one for people like us."

"We'll be able to write one when we're finished," Jimmy told him, "And I think we should start by feeling and touching like I was doing to you."

Jon nodded. "I enjoyed what you were doing, but we're going to need some sort of oil or something. I wish I'd thought of buying something from the chemist, though I would have been far too embarrassed to ask for it I suppose."

"Hold on," Jimmy said scrambling out of the bed and going to his shoulder bag. His stiff penis swaying enticingly as he moved. "You might have been embarrassed, but I wasn't. Well not too much at any rate."

He turned triumphantly, a half used blue and white coloured tube in his hand. "I bought this and some condoms ages ago for a bet with my friends. I've used a lot of it for wanking but there's plenty left. Enough for us at any rate."

As Jimmy jumped back into the bed and pressed up against him, Jon marvelled at the boy's self possession. He would have found it difficult enough to buy the stuff as an adult, let alone when he was sixteen.

They saw each other as often as they could do so reasonably discreetly. Jon tried to limit their meetings but as he fell more and more deeply in love, he found that his desire for Jimmy got stronger instead of weaker as he had half expected. Jimmy had reached his sexual peak, would stay there for several more years, and needed sex several times a day, and when they were together wanted to make up for the times they were apart. Although each session left him supremely satisfied for a while, within an hour or so he was ready to start all over again, and Jon wasn't far behind him.

At weekends, when Jimmy could make reasonable excuses to his parents, they spent at least Saturday or Sunday together, though they could only occasionally spend the night. Even Jimmy realised that a single telephone call, for whatever reason, from his parents to the friend he was supposed to be staying with, would be a disaster. As his desire for Jon intensified he tried to remember that it might land him in serious trouble, and told himself that they should meet less often, but his need was so great, inevitably he began to take chances. He sometimes would turn up at Jon's house at odd times during the evening when his parents thought that he was in his room studying.

Jon was even more apprehensive, especially of those late night visits but he was quite literally putty in Jimmy's capable and demanding hands, and had as well, become completely fatalistic over the months. He knew without any doubt that there was trouble ahead, but had long ago decided that whatever happened, it was worth it. He had never been in love before and the novelty of the emotion bewitched him. He was filled with happiness, his teaching was inspired and the only two clouds on his horizon were what Jimmy would have to face when the inevitable happened, and a tiny suspicion which he did his best to ignore, that Jimmy didn't love him quite as much as he loved Jimmy.

With the first in mind, he went to visit a school friend of his who was a partner in a legal firm and asked him to draft a will leaving everything he owned in trust for Jimmy until he was eighteen. Until then, Jimmy would receive a regular income that would put him through college if for some reason he wasn't around to see to this himself. Brian, his lawyer friend, agreed to act as his executor but insisted that another mutual friend, Tim Lake who was a doctor, be asked to act with him.

The three of them met one Saturday when Jimmy, to his disgust, had been hauled off to visit relatives. Jon who was now far less worried about what other people thought of him than he used to be put his cards on the table. Whether the other two had ever suspected him of being gay he didn't know, but he didn't expect them to condemn him, and nor did they do so. They were both however, extremely worried about the situation and discussing it together after he left, came to the conclusion that however deeply in love he was with this boy, and it was patently obvious that it was the most important thing in his life, the risks involved so far outweighed it as to be incalculable. They decided that they should meet Jimmy before finally agreeing to act as executors of Jon's will.

The result of this was that Jon invited them to dinner one Saturday to meet Jimmy, and included Tim's wife Marion in the invitation. Jimmy who had no idea of the reason behind the visit and was pleased to be meeting some of Jon's friends, told his parents the truth about where he would be for once, only refraining from telling them precisely the type of work the two of them would be doing before the meal. This work, which was nothing of the kind, became such an enjoyable tussle on the bed that they barely had time for a shower before the guests arrived. Jimmy had to be forcibly ordered to keep his hands, and other parts of his anatomy, to himself as dried each other. Fortunately that they had prepared the food and everything else in advance.

The evening was a complete success. Jimmy had grown up a lot in the last few months, was radiant and in his best looks and this, combined with his natural good manners and the fact that he obviously thought the world of Jon, predisposed them in his favour. By the end of the meal he had charmed Brian, Tim and Marion, first into accepting him, and then into liking him very much.

Jon who was as proud of him as only a lover can be, stayed in the background and left him in the limelight. His faith in Jimmy's ability to handle any social situation was completely justified and by the end of the evening, during which Jimmy with his flair for mimicry had amused them all with his exaggerated stories of school life, the three visitors left, if not overjoyed about the affair, at least resigned to it and agreeing that they had never seen the rather too serious Jonathan so light-hearted. If only Jimmy had been a girl, they would have been delighted.

As it was Brian and Tim agreed to act as executors and Jon signed the will two weeks later. He was barely in time. The world crashed down on them just three weeks after that, and it was entirely Jimmy's fault.

His relations with his parents had become increasingly strained as he grew away from them. As they were in their middle forties when he was born and most of their friend's children had already grown up and left home by the time Jimmy reached his teens, they had no experience of the traumas associated with adolescence, and no one to turn to for advice. They had expected Jimmy to grow through his teenage years in exactly the same loving, obedient fashion that he had always displayed, so it came as an unwelcome shock to find their admirable and charming son, turning into a fiercely independent young man with a mind of his own, and a strong determination to get his own way. He wanted to go out all the time, treated the house, to which he contributed nothing, like a hotel (the age old lament of parents) and was never around when he was needed.

In fact they were slightly unfair to him. There was no doubt that in the first throes of his passion for Jon he had neglected them, but with the growing maturity that the affair engendered, he was rather more tolerant of their staid existence than he might have been otherwise. But of course they were not to know this and in addition, the careful, casual hints that he had dropped about girls were beginning to work against him. His mother in particular wondered resentfully, why he never brought any of them to the house to meet them.

She had known, without thinking about it very much, that he would get married one day, and had seen herself quietly and discreetly guiding him in his choice of a wife. After all, she knew him better than anyone and would make sure that his choice fell on someone worthy of him. Seemingly idle questions about the girls he mentioned provoked an amused smile, and a brief comment to the effect that he didn't have any girl in particular in mind at the moment. In which case she asked herself, why was he spending so much time in their company?

She was sure that something was going on, and as it could only be a girl, why was he being so secretive? Occasionally the thought crossed her mind that he might be having a sexual relationship which accounted for the change in him, but she immediately dismissed the idea. He was much too young to want anything like that and in any case, she confidently expected him to remain a good catholic virgin until he got married, sometime in the distant future.

Of his school work at least, they had nothing to complain about. Like Jonathan’s, his happiness had spilled over into other parts of his life. Encouraged by his lover he was working harder and better than he had ever done, and this was reflected in his school reports. But at the same time, he was becoming difficult to handle. All in all, although still intensely proud of him, they were beginning to find their adored son something of a trial, and more and more irritating as time went on. Things came to a head one Sunday evening.

The previous day instead of leaving him at home as usual, his mother had insisted that he accompany them on a visit his aunt. As he and Jonathan hadn't been able to meet at all that week, he was desperately frustrated, angry, and sulky enough during the visit to draw adverse comments from his hostess. His mother was not particularly fond of her sister, who she visited more as a matter of duty than affection, and was furious at his bad manners. It was bad enough for him to be sulky at home when he didn't get his own way, but to show them up in front of her sister! It was intolerable.

The entire journey home was filled with her condemnation and complaints, and if she had left it at that, it would in all probability have blown over. Unfortunately, when she came downstairs the next morning, it was to find the kitchen full of smoke from some slices of bread that Jimmy had just put under the grill when the phone rang. It was Jonathan calling and Jimmy had closed the door of the sitting room for privacy, forgetting all about his toast. There was no damage but his mother insisted that the house could have burnt down and nagged him about it all day.

As he had expected to be with Jon the previous day, he had promised to cut the lawn and do various other jobs about the house and garden after Mass, and in her vindictive mood, there was no way that she was going to let him off the hook. Then she invented several more unnecessary jobs, designed to keep him busy all day. The final straw came after supper, when she marched into his bedroom without knocking, and informed him with a martyred air that as he had not bothered to tidy it as she had told him to, she was going to do the job herself, right then and there.

Jimmy was no more untidy than other boys his age, in fact his room was a good deal tidier than most, and he had genuinely not had the time to do anything about it because she had kept him so busy. He was tired, resented her remarks and remembered that he might have left the odd note from Jon somewhere about the room. His diary also had some fairly explicit descriptions of what they'd been doing, and in her present mood, he didn't trust her not to read it if she came across it.

He had managed to keep his anger in check all day, but this was the last straw. He lost his temper, she lost hers, and they both said things that would have been far better left unsaid, or if voiced, immediately forgotten. When she finally left the room to talk to his father, he slammed and locked the door then threw himself onto the bed, barely able to contain his fury. His parents decided that he was probably best left alone, went to bed early and worn out with all this emotion, were soon asleep.

Jimmy on the other hand had been getting more and more miserable as his anger waned and finally he slipped quietly out of the house and went to see Jon. He was thinking too deeply and feeling too upset to notice the police car parked around the corner from the path that led to Jon's back garden. He locked the door in the fence behind him and let himself into the house unaware that one of the constables had followed him. Too late to see which garden Jimmy had entered he returned to the car and thought little more about it. Obviously the lad was just returning home, though why he should choose to do so via the dark alleyway was a bit strange, so he filed the information away in the back of his mind. The patrol had been introduced recently because there had been a series of burglaries in the area, and anything out of the way might come in useful. The boy might have noticed something.

Meanwhile Jon who had heard his key in the lock met him in he kitchen and taking one look at his face, put his arms around him. To his dismay, Jimmy burst into tears. It was the first time Jon had ever seen him cry and he urged him into the living room where he sat him down and coaxed the whole story out of him, holding him tightly all the while. It didn't seem a very serious episode and he set about calming Jimmy down and later, when his sobs had stopped, made him a cup of coffee and let him talk it out of his system. Understanding that most of the tension had been due to deprivation, he eventually took Jimmy upstairs where they made love fiercely and when the edge had been taken off their passion, again slowly and with tenderness on both sides. Worn out, they fell asleep in each other's arms, until the cold woke them several hours later.

In something of a panic, they got dressed quickly and left the house. Jon never drove Jimmy home at night because of the risk of being seen so they usually parted at the door to the alley. This time however, because it was so late and he knew Jimmy was still upset, he decided to walk him home. They came out of the alley, turned towards Jimmy's house and were caught in the full glare of the headlights of the patrolling police car, and the nightmare began.

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We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну
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