Gran's House
by Kit
Chapter 18
When my brothers called me on Monday evening, the first thing they said was that the mugs and glasses that had previously gone missing had reappeared. Connor had been first in the bathroom that morning and found them on the counter next to the sink, but they certainly weren't there when he went to bed. They were apparently completely undamaged and were now in my brothers' bedroom.
"It must be Mike," Connor said. "He's the only one who could've taken them from the kitchen and hidden them so long and put them in the bathroom. Katie would never do that."
"Well, if it was him," I said soothingly, "the fact that they've been returned means he's sorry. Think of it as a peace offering."
"It's still stealing," he protested indignantly, "even if he gives them back."
"True," I said and sighed, "but we all make mistakes, and when we do, we'd all like to be forgiven."
"But stealing isn't a mistake. It's a bad thing," he replied with increased indignation.
"Sometimes we make a mistake that's also a bad thing."
In the background I could see that Liam was unhappy and that the apparent disagreement between his brothers was making him uncomfortable.
"Apart from the mystery of the mugs, how was your day, Liam?" I asked him.
"It was good," he replied, grateful for the change of topic. "We had choir practice, and the teacher asked me to sing a solo."
"And did you?" I asked, knowing how shy he could be.
"Yeah, but only if I didn't have to stand out at the front."
"That's good. Your voice is so beautiful that you should let lots of people hear it."
He blushed and averted his gaze, but I could tell that he was also very happy with my comment.
Over the next couple of weeks, my brothers occasionally mentioned that Mike was not only avoiding any nasty behaviour toward them but also was occasionally as nice to them as he was to Katie. Liam, who usually tried to see the best in people, just accepted this, but Connor was more than a little suspicious. Then one day, at the start of one of our regular phone chats, Connor was clearly a little disturbed and uncomfortable.
"Mike's weird," he announced.
"What happened?" I asked. "I thought he was being nice to you."
Liam frowned and looked confused, so I guessed that he, like me, had no idea what Connor was referring to.
"I thought he was trying to be nice, too," the older boy replied. "After tea tonight he invited me up to his room. He's never done that before, and the only people allowed in his room are Sarah and David, not even Katie."
"Surely that's a good sign," I suggested. "Doesn't that mean he trusts you in his personal space?"
"I don't know. I thought he was being nice, and I thought I'd give him a chance, like you said, but when we went in his room, he just asked lots of questions."
"And that's bad?" I asked, wondering what sort of questions had annoyed Connor so much.
"At first it was okay, like about camping and stuff, then he asked about who slept in which tent, and then…"
He stopped speaking, blushed, and looked away from the screen.
"I'm not sure I should say," he continued, "at least not with Liam here."
The little boy's expression changed from a puzzled concern to a startled irritation, but before he could find the words to protest, I spoke up.
"Whatever you say or don't say is up to you," I said gently. "You know that if you want to use Rule Two, I'll respect it, and I'm sure Liam will respect it, too."
"But it's not fair if you tell Paul and not me," the smaller boy protested, "cos I'm your brother, too."
"Maybe you need time to think about it, Connor," I said. "After all, whatever it is, it only just happened."
"No, I don't want to keep it secret," he replied after a long pause. "He asked if I'd seen you with no clothes on. I told him that, of course, I hadn't. Then he saw I was upset and said he was sorry and he didn't mean anything nasty. He said it was just that he thought you were very good-looking and was curious about how you looked without clothes."
"What did you say to that?" I asked.
"I told him that he shouldn't talk about you like that. Then I told him I had to do homework."
I had no idea what I should say, even after a few seconds of thought.
"Well," Connor prompted me, "what do you think? He's weird, isn't he?"
"Honestly, I don't know what to think. Of course I'm surprised and a bit shocked by what he said, and if you really want to, we can talk about it again after I've had more time to think about it."
"So what should we do?" he asked. "Should we stop being nice to him?"
"I don't think you should stop being nice to him, and you certainly shouldn't be nasty to him," I said after thinking for a couple of seconds. "I suppose that in a way, he trusted you enough to tell you something very private. Personally, I think it would be best to forget it, but I'm not you, so I won't tell you what to do."
"I want to forget it," Liam said unhappily, "and I don't want to talk about it now."
All three of us agreed that we wanted to stop talking about it, and we moved to other topics. However, it was still lurking at the back of my mind, and I suspected that Connor wouldn't easily forget it. Long after the call ended, I debated with myself whether or not I should mention the matter to David. It wasn't an easy decision, but on balance I decided not to do so, partly because Connor shared it between us brothers, and I didn't want to breach his trust.
The next couple of times I visited the foster home, Mike seemed to be avoiding me, and when he couldn't avoid me, he looked embarrassed and averted his gaze. Presumably, he'd guessed that Connor had told me about their interaction. For my part, I tried to behave as if I'd never heard about it, and from what I could tell, so did my brothers.
Connor and Liam both reported to me that Mike's behaviour toward them wasn't unpleasant, but he didn't interact with them much and spent a lot of time alone in his room. Although I was pretty sure that Sarah and David would've noticed changes in the redhead, they didn't mention it to me. That led me to feel that it was unlikely that they blamed me in any way.
A couple of weeks after Connor told me about his visit to Mike's room, he brought up the topic again in one of our video calls. His little brother's body language and his position close to the other boy indicated that Connor was speaking for both of them.
"I've been thinking about what Mike said, and me and Liam talked about it."
"I've been thinking about it, too," I replied, "but I wanted to see if you and Liam would bring the matter up."
"Why?" he asked.
"Because it made you both uncomfortable, and I thought you might've wanted to forget about it."
"We did want to forget, but we couldn't. We see Mike every day. We were starting to get on okay, like we do with Katie, but now it all feels uncomfortable."
"Yeah," Liam added unhappily.
"I wish we didn't have to wait to live with you," the older boy said, "cos it's a long time to have to live here with Mike."
"It seems like forgetting about what happened won't fix things for you," I said pensively. "Maybe he can't forget it either, so it also won't fix things for him. He's probably very embarrassed and wishes that he'd never said what he did."
"So why did he say it?" Connor challenged.
"Haven't you ever said or done something and then wished that you hadn't?"
"I s'pose," he admitted grudgingly.
"And Mike's going through puberty, and that can sometimes make kids, especially boys, do weird things," I said. "You've learned about puberty at school, haven't you?"
"Yeah," the older boy replied, blushing slightly, "but about changes to your body, not making you say weird stuff."
"The hormones that make your body change can also affect how your brain works. You can say or do things and take risks that you wouldn't do before, and you can think more about things that you didn't think much about before puberty."
"Like sex," Connor said.
"Yeah," I agreed, feeling uncomfortable.
"But what he said about you was a bit creepy," he declared.
"Is it creepy that he thinks I'm good-looking?" I asked, trying to divert my discomfort into attempted humour.
"No," he conceded.
"You're handsome and cute and so adoooooorable!" Liam said, imitating Aunt Anne's mannerisms.
He burst into a fit of giggling that I suspected was generated as much by nervousness as by humour.
"But what he said about seeing you naked was weird," Connor persisted.
"Maybe it's only weird to you because we're brothers. But would you think it was so creepy if he'd said it about someone else?" I asked.
"But that's gay!" he exclaimed.
"Would it be so terrible if Mike were gay?" I asked. "Haven't we already talked about gay people and having gay friends?"
"Well, erm, yes," he replied a little guiltily, "but wanting to see someone naked is a bit weird."
"For boys going through puberty, it's not unusual to want to see people naked," I pointed out, unable to hide my amusement. "And once puberty hits, even boys who aren't gay can be interested in how other boys are developing 'down there'."
"Puberty doesn't sound like it's much fun," Liam observed.
"There are good bits and bad bits," I said and smiled enigmatically. Before they could ask for any specifics, I added, "But back to Mike and what we think about what he said. Suppose, Connor, that you trusted Mike enough to admit that you thought a girl was good-looking. Suppose you were going through puberty and your hormones made you a bit reckless so that you also admitted to him that you'd be interested in seeing her naked. Would that mean you're weird and creepy?"
"Mmm, maybe not, but what if the girl was his sister?"
"Of course it would make him feel uncomfortable if it was his sister, and maybe it would be a bit unwise to tell him, but what if he thought you were weird for telling him that? What if you thought he'd told the girl what you'd said about her?"
Connor looked thoughtful for a few seconds, and Liam studied us both as if anxious to discover the outcome of an important debate. In fact, during the discussion my own feelings were being clarified, and I'd begun to formulate some ideas on how to proceed.
"I'd be embarrassed. Very embarrassed. And I'd not want to be near him or the girl," Connor said.
"Exactly," I said approvingly. "And what do you think would help to fix things, or at least decrease the embarrassment?"
Again, Connor thought for several seconds before saying anything, and at one point I thought that Liam looked as if he might volunteer an answer.
"I s'pose," Connor said eventually, "that if he came to me and told me that it was okay for me to like his sister but that he didn't want to talk about her being naked."
"And say to forget it like it never happened," his little brother volunteered.
"Those are great ideas from both of you," I praised, "but I appreciate that it's easier said than done. Connor, saying something like that to Mike will be difficult in the short term, but it will make life easier for everyone in the long term."
Connor said he'd think about it, and I decided that I wouldn't raise the matter again unless my brothers did so first. I realised that if there was any possibility that the situation with Mike could be fixed, any suggestion of pressure from me would only decrease the chance of success.
Another change in the foster home during that time was that Katie was often away on Sunday afternoons. Sometimes after lunch, David took her to see her mother and brought her back at teatime. My brothers informed me that a couple of times in the weeks leading up to Christmas, Katie would be with her mother from Saturday afternoon to Sunday evening. No one told me what the situation was with the mother or why her daughter was in foster care, and I thought it would be indiscreet for me to ask.
One Friday afternoon about a month before Christmas, when I went to collect Connor and Liam, I sought out David and Sarah for a quick private chat. My main purpose was to coordinate Christmas gifts for the children.
"I thought I'd get a new football outfit and new boots for Connor and an electronic keyboard for Liam," I told them, "and maybe second-hand bikes for Katie and Mike. But I wonder if he knows how to ride, and if he doesn't, could either of you teach him?"
"Bikes are quite expensive, even second-hand, but I'm pretty sure Katie would love one," Sarah said with a slight frown. "I don't think that Mike can ride. Anyway, at the moment he's growing so quickly that he'll definitely need new running shoes soon."
"We can get him the shoes," David added, "and if he got a bike, I'd be happy to teach him to ride it."
"Also, I thought that if Mike and Katie are getting bikes, then it might be nice if I got Susie one of those little toddler tricycles," I said. "There were a few that looked okay to me, but I thought it best if you decide what's best for her. If it's okay with you, I'll send you links to some webpages, and you can let me know which to buy."
"That's very kind of you, Paul," Sarah said, then glancing at her husband as if for support, she added, "Actually, I'm glad you brought up the topic of Christmas arrangements because we wanted to talk with you about that."
"Yes," David said. "We know that you'll want to spend Christmas with your brothers, but we really think that it would be best if they were here for Christmas Day itself. It's one of those times when our family can bond together, and it's possible that it will be the last time Liam and Connor will have Christmas with us."
"It's also possible that Katie will be going back to her mother, maybe relatively soon, so this could be the last holiday that all the children have together, " his wife added. "But of course, you'll be welcome to spend Christmas with us."
"I understand, and I know that there'll be lots of times I can spend holidays with the boys in future," I replied. "Thanks for the offer for me to join you, but ever since I was very small, I've always spent Christmas with my godparents, either at Gran's house or theirs, and I'll be doing the same this year."
They seemed relieved, which gave me the feeling that Sarah and David had been concerned that the conversation might have been more difficult. However, all had gone smoothly, and not only had we agreed on presents, but also we arranged that I'd pick up my brothers two days after Christmas and return them on New Year's Day.
That evening, when we'd arrived home and while Connor and I were preparing food, he mentioned Mike. Liam was in the living room plonking out a few notes on the piano, and I wondered if the older boy had waited until his little brother wasn't with us.
"I told Mike, ya know, like what we talked about," he said in an offhand manner, as if it was something of no importance.
"How did that go?" I asked.
"I went to his room while Liam was having a bath," he replied, sounding a little guilty, "and everything's okay now."
I waited for him to say more, but he changed the subject completely by asking what I wanted him to help with next.
When I took my brothers back to the foster home for Sunday lunch, I noticed that Mike no longer appeared to be avoiding me, so Connor's statement about everything being okay seemed to be accurate. The red-haired boy had a wary and slightly embarrassed expression when our eyes met, but he didn't immediately avert his gaze. Over the next few weeks, he became more at ease with me, though I occasionally caught him staring at me as if trying to work out what exactly I knew and how I felt about it.
About three weeks before Christmas, the boys asked for significant withdrawals from their accounts at the 'Bank of Paul'. Liam also mentioned that his school choir was preparing for a carol concert.
"When's the concert?" I asked.
"The Thursday before the end of term," the little boy replied.
"Do I need a ticket, or can I just come along?"
"You need a ticket."
"I bet Aunt Anne will want to go, too," I said. "What time's the concert?"
"Four o'clock."
"Okay, maybe she'll be able to finish work early. Anyway, definitely get one ticket for me, please. I'll let you know as soon as I can if Aunt Anne can go."
As it turned out, my godmother managed to rearrange her work schedule, and Liam's foster family, apart from David and Susie, was also there. Apparently, the toddler wouldn't be able to sit still and stay quiet for a performance that would last more than an hour, so her father would stay home with her. We couldn't all fit on the same row of seats, and Connor, Kate and Mike sat together behind us. I noted that the redhead was in the middle.
Liam sang solo at the beginning of 'Once in Royal David's City', and his beautiful crystal-clear voice seemed to fill the school auditorium. Unlike other soloists, he didn't stand separately in front of the choir, and instead he stayed in his position in the middle of the front row. After the performance we waited in the hallway for Liam to emerge. He blushed deeply when praise was heaped on him, and he blushed even more deeply when Aunt Anne gave him a big hug.
I hadn't bothered with my own tree and decorations on the Christmas after Gran died, and I spent most of the holidays with my godparents. Had it not been for the insistence of my brothers, I probably wouldn't have bothered that year, either. Connor and I allowed our little brother to take charge because it quickly became clear that he had a natural talent for decorations.
When the boys were with me on the weekend before Christmas, Liam made a special request while Connor was helping me to make mince pies.
"Paul, will you take us to the morial garden on Christmas Eve?" he asked. "Please."
"It's going to be cold and probably wet," I pointed out. "Nothing would be growing in the garden, and there may not even be any wreaths."
"That's a good reason for going," he replied as if stating the obvious, "and I want to say Happy Christmas to Mum and tell her I miss her."
"Mum said Christmas is the best time of the year," Connor said, showing that he supported his little brother's request.
"It's going to be hard to fit it in on such a busy day," I said doubtfully.
"Please," the little boy pleaded, tilting his head and gazing into my eyes. "You can do it for my Christmas present."
Of course, as he obviously felt so strongly about it, there was no way that I could resist the look in his beautiful eyes.
The bicycles and tricycle were delivered to the foster home during the last week of term while the children were at school, and David told me that he'd hidden them in the minibus. On Christmas Eve morning, I took the presents from me and my godparents for my brothers to the foster home, and then I drove the boys to the memorial garden. Somehow, presumably through one of their foster carers, they'd each managed to get a small bunch of flowers.
As I'd predicted, the weather was cold and drizzly, and the garden was a little sad and dreary, but at least there wasn't much wind. However, I knew that if we just put the flowers on the ground, it wouldn't be long before they were blown away. So we attached the bunches as best we could to the chain that separated the formal garden from the wild garden.
The three of us sat in silence and huddled together under my large umbrella. After a few minutes the boys said that they were ready to go, and I wondered if it had really been worth the time driving there for such a short visit. However, when I saw the mixture of sadness, contentment and peace on their faces, I knew that it had been worthwhile for them and thus worthwhile for me.
Back at the foster home, my brothers handed over presents for me and my godparents, with strict instructions that we mustn't open them until Christmas Day. I was surprised and touched when Mike and Katie each gave me a small present. A little later, I was even more touched when Liam gave me a brief kiss on the cheek during our goodbye hug.
After having a quick lunch at home, I spent the afternoon helping my godparents with various preparations, including their contributions for their evening at the church. Although I no longer had any religious beliefs, I'd always accompanied my gran to the Christmas Eve carol service. Not only did I enjoy Christmas carols, but also the service itself was one of the rituals, like decorating the tree and eating mince pies, that made Christmas special.
On Christmas morning, while my godparents were still at church, my brothers called me. When they appeared on screen, I could see the whole foster family crowded together behind them, and from the glimpse of the tree in the background, I could tell they were in the living room.
"Happy Christmas!" they all shouted together.
"Happy Christmas to you, too!" I replied happily.
"You took a long time to answer," Connor said, looking a little concerned. "Were you busy?"
"I had to wash my hands," I explained. "I was stuffing the chicken."
Connor smirked, and in the background I heard a snort that I guessed was from Mike.
"Ah, yes, I remember David saying you don't like turkey," Sarah said quickly, saving me from potential embarrassment.
"We all wanted to wish you a Happy Christmas and thank you for the presents," David said. Susie, whom he'd been holding, began wriggling impatiently, so he put her down and added, "Susie's anxious to play with her presents."
The little girl disappeared off the screen, and her father followed her.
"Sorry to have to dash, but I need to get on with preparing our Christmas lunch ," Sarah said. Addressing the children, she added. " You kids can come and give me a hand when you've finished chatting with Paul."
"Thanks for the bike," Katie said, "and for the helmet."
"You're welcome," I replied. "I hope the helmet fits okay. I had to get the size from Sarah. And thanks for the handkerchiefs. It's very thoughtful of you to get them with my initials on."
"Yes, it fits good," she said, and then she, too, disappeared from view.
"Thanks for the bike," Mike said. Looking a little embarrassed, he added more quietly, "But I can't ride it."
"I think that every kid needs a bike, especially a teenage boy," I said. "And David said he'd be happy to teach you. You may be surprised how quickly you can learn. It took only a few hours for Connor and Liam to do it."
"Did you like the T-shirt?" Mike asked, sounding slightly anxious, "I got one with your initials on."
"Yes, royal blue with gold-coloured letters will make me feel like a prince. And it fits perfectly."
"Connor told me what size to get," he replied, blushing and casting a look in my brother's direction. "Anyway, I better go see what Sarah wants me to do."
Apparently my brothers had been waiting for the others to leave because as soon as Mike moved out of view, they both started talking over one another, thanking me for their presents.
"Did the footie boots fit okay?" I asked Connor.
"Yeah, everything fits, but David and Sarah won't let me wear the boots in the house," he replied, rolling his eyes. "Did you like our presents?"
"Yes, I loved them, and as soon as I get home I'll put the picture on the mantelpiece in the living room." I replied. "I've not tried the shirts on yet, but the labels say they're my size."
"Yeah, we looked at the shirts in your bedroom," the younger boy said.
Then he quickly looked at Connor to check that it was okay for him to have admitted that. The older boy just smiled and nodded that it was alright. The two shirts they'd given me were short-sleeved casual shirts with button fronts. One was a pale blue, and the other was white with fine vertical beige stripes.
"You can wear them for going to the beach," Liam said.
"They're not so, erm, bright as the ones you wore before," Connor added.
I'd wondered why they'd chosen to buy me shirts, and on hearing that, I realised that they didn't appreciate my taste in brightly coloured beachwear. All of my willpower was required to hide my amusement and suppress my laughter.
"That's very thoughtful of you both," I said.
"Thanks for the keyboard. It's great!" the smaller boy enthused. "I've already tried playing 'Twinkle Twinkle' on it."
"Yeah, everybody heard that," the older boy said, rolling his eyes.
"You can use the headphones instead of the speakers if you want to be more private," I pointed out to Liam.
"Oh, okay," the little boy replied, as if he'd never even considered that possibility.
"You can also find lessons on how to play if you go online," I said. "And if you're still interested in playing keyboard next summer, I'll get you some proper piano lessons."
"Oh, just a minute," Liam said.
He disappeared from view for a few seconds and returned carrying a large book with a colourful cover. After holding it up for me to see, he opened the book to display some of the pages. Although he didn't hold it steadily enough for me to read anything, I could tell that it was about gardens and garden plants and that it was beautifully illustrated.
"This is a present from David and Sarah," he said. "It's about how you do gardening and what plants will grow at different times of the year."
"That's a really lovely present," I commented.
"Where's Aunt Anne and Uncle Geoffrey?" Connor asked, clearly showing his lack of interest in gardening.
"Still at church. They'll be back in an hour or so if you want to call again and thank them for your presents."
My godparents had bought them matching analogue wristwatches with tooled leather straps, and each had their name engraved on the back.
"Did they like the presents we gave them?" the older boy asked.
"Yes, they loved them," I replied, picking up my laptop and turning it to show that the framed photo of the two of them with their mother was in pride of place on top of the bookshelf in the living room. "The other photo is on the cabinet in the dining room."
Both boys looked very happy and promised to call again later so that they could talk with Aunt Anne and Uncle Geoffrey.
During our Christmas afternoon meal, I announced that I'd try to adopt my brothers as soon as possible. As expected, Aunt Anne was delighted, but Uncle Geoffrey, though supportive, was more cautious. He told me that I should have another consultation with his colleague, Sandra Chalmers, to ensure that the application had the best chance of success.
"She'll also make sure that you're aware of possible logistical complications," he added.
"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning.
"Paul, you're an idealist…" he began.
"Which is one of the things we love about you," his wife interposed.
"Yes, it's an admirable quality," Uncle Geoffrey continued, "but sometimes your desire to do the right thing can make you overlook practicalities. For example, you'll be responsible for arranging new schools for Connor and Liam, and that will need to be done soon."
"Yes, I can do that," I replied, a little irritated that he was stating the obvious.
"But until any adoption is finalised, you won't have any legal standing to sign the boys up for anything. And by the time you have custody, it will be too late to apply for any school with a good reputation."
"Sarah and David have legal standing, and they seem to be on very good terms with Paul," Aunt Anne pointed out while I was still considering what her husband had said. "Maybe he can coordinate things with them."
"Yes," I agreed, relieved that she was supporting me. "I'm sure they'll be happy to cooperate."
"Have you done any research on possible schools yet?" he asked.
"Not yet," I admitted, "but as Connor will be starting secondary school, I thought he might go to Linchester Grammar."
"The deadline for applications for next September was more than two months ago," he said in a tone that indicated it was something that I should already have known, "and the entrance exams are in less than six weeks."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes. Had you forgotten that I'm on the Board of Governors?"
"Erm, yes, I had," I admitted, disappointed that Connor wouldn't be going to my old school.
Uncle Geoffrey sighed and said, "Maybe I can pull a few strings and get the school to accept a late application. After all, it's less than a year since he became an orphan, and he's about to be adopted by a former student. But he'll still have to do the entrance exam on the same date as all the other applicants."
"If you could do that, it would be really appreciated," I said gratefully.
"Connor will need to be absolutely certain that he wants to go, because if I can persuade them to allow a late application and then he decides not to go after taking the entrance exam … well, let's say it will reflect very badly on all of us."
When I went to collect Liam and Connor after Christmas, I saw that Katie and Mike were in the games room, but they appeared to be studying instead of playing. Given that it was the middle of the school holidays, I went to see what they were really doing. As it happened, they really were studying a little booklet: 'The Highway Code for Cyclists'.
"David said we can't go riding our bikes until we can answer questions on this," Katie said, indicating the booklet.
"And he hasn't even started teaching me to ride yet," Mike complained.
After I'd taken my brothers to my home and we'd had our lunch, I told them that there was something that I wanted to discuss with them. In response to their anxious expressions, I reassured them that it was good news, and we went to sit in the living room.
"I've been told that I shouldn't get your hopes up because if things don't work out, you'd be disappointed," I began. "But I think that there's only a small chance that things won't work out, and I know that you're both strong enough to deal with any disappointment. Also, as your brother, I feel that I should be open with you about this."
"Paul," Connor said impatiently, rolling his eyes, "can't you just get on with it?"
"Okay," I continued, feeling a little irritated. "Remember that I said that I was going to try and adopt you? Well, I've now completed the adoption training and assessment. Social Services will prepare a report that will go to a group of people who'll decide if I can adopt."
"So why would we be disappointed?" the older boy asked.
"We can't guarantee that the people, the panel, will think I'm suitable to adopt children."
"Course they will," Connor said dismissively, "cos they'd be stupid if they didn't."
"Assuming they do, we'll need to organise schools for the next school year, and that will probably need to be done in the next couple of months. That'll be easy for Liam because we can get him a place in the nearest primary school, but you'll be moving to a secondary school, so it's a bit more complicated."
"I'll have to go to school on my own?" Liam asked with concern.
"You'd have to do that anyway because wherever you were living, Connor would be moving to secondary school, but you'd still be in primary school."
"But Connor's always been with me when I went to school," the little boy said, looking a little panicky.
Presumably, he'd already known that his brother would be changing schools next year, but it seemed that he hadn't understood the full implications.
"I know it's a big change," I said sympathetically, "but you're a big boy now, and big boys have to get used to changes. Making new friends and getting used to a new school isn't easy, but you've done it before."
"Yeah, but Connor was there to look after me," he replied, looking sad and a little lost.
"Sometimes life can be tough," I said gently, reaching out to pull him closer, "but there can be good things, too. You have two brothers who love you lots. Don't you think that coming here and living in this house with both of us is worth the change of schools?"
He slowly nodded his head, then he took me completely by surprise and sat on my lap, resting his head on my chest. I got the impression that, for the moment, he didn't want to think about new schools. I put my arms around him and comforted him with a cuddle.
"What did you mean, 'complicated'?" Connor asked, reminding me of what I'd been saying.
"Oh, right," I said, trying to get my thoughts back on track. "I think the best option is for you to go to the school that I went to. There are a couple of nearer secondary schools, but I think my old school is better. It has better exam results, a better reputation, and better facilities, like sports activities and its own swimming pool."
"And you went there, so it must be good, right?" he asked.
"Yes, I went there, Grandad went there, Great-grandad went there, and Uncle Geoffrey went there."
"So Uncle Geoffrey was at school with Grandad?"
"Not at the same time. There was at least ten years between them."
"What about Mum, Gran and Aunt Anne?"
"No. Until recently it was all boys, and even now, girls are only in the Sixth Form."
"If Grandad's dad went there, it must be really, really old," he observed.
"It's more than two hundred and fifty years old. It's what's known as an independent grammar school, which basically means it's private and not run by the local government. Also, unless a boy wins a full scholarship, fees have to be paid."
"So you'd have to pay for me to go?" he asked as if the idea was ridiculous.
"Yes, we're not poor enough to qualify for a full scholarship, but it's possible you'd qualify for a partial scholarship that could reduce the fees."
"How'd I get a scholarship thing?"
"You'd have to get a good score in some exams."
"Exams?" he said scornfully. "I hate exams."
"It doesn't matter if you don't get a scholarship," I pointed out, "but the school requires potential students to pass a minimum standard in its entrance exam, so there's at least one exam just to get in."
"I don't like that idea," Connor said firmly. "What if I fail? It's probably better if I just go to an ordinary school."
"Eventually, you'll have to do exams no matter what school you go to. And if you fail, you fail," I said, shrugging. "It's like playing in a football match; you may win or you may lose, but failing an exam doesn't make you a failure just as losing a football game doesn't make you a loser. Pass or fail, win or lose, it doesn't matter to me because you're my brother and I'll always love you."
Although he clearly appreciated my sentiments, I could see that he was still uncertain and lacking in self-confidence.
"Look, I know you're clever and you can pass any school exam," I said. I smiled and, in a lighter tone I added, "especially with me as your tutor."
"Okay, I'll think about it," he said without certainty.
"Good. I won't pressure you about what decision you make, but there is a pressure of time because a decision needs to be made soon."
"How soon?" he asked, clearly feeling uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry that time is short," I apologised sincerely, "but it was difficult to arrange anything before adoption was a possibility. How about we look at the websites of my old school and a couple of other schools so you can compare them? And you can ask Uncle Geoffrey about the school when we go there for our Christmas Dinner Part Two.
"Okay," he agreed.
"And are you okay, Liam?" I asked, tilting my head down to see the top of his head, which was still resting on my chest.
"Mmmm," he said without moving, his voice muffled, "I like feeling your chest on my ear when you talk."
"Do you have a secret job?" Connor asked, taking me completely by surprise.
"No. Why do you ask? And why would I keep it secret?"
"We thought you must have a job to pay for all this," he replied, waving his arm vaguely, "and now you told me about paying to go to that school. But we don't know about your job, so it must be secret. Liam said you could be a secret agent."
"That was a joke!" the little boy protested, raising his head from my chest and glaring at the older boy.
"Since I finished at uni, I've been too busy getting to know my brothers and going on that adoption training course that I told you about. I've not had time to get a job."
"So how will you pay for the school and, erm, other stuff?" Connor asked.
"You mean, how can I keep my brothers in the luxury to which they've become accustomed?" I replied with arched brows.
"I didn't mean it like that," he said, frowning. When I just grinned at him, he narrowed his eyes and added, "You're teasing."
"Just a bit," I replied. "But to answer your question, there isn't really much to pay for at the moment. The house is mine, so there's no rent, and almost everything in the house was bought by our grandparents. So there's only food and running costs like electricity to pay for."
"And Mrs T and the gardeners," Liam said, still sitting on my lap but no longer leaning on my chest.
"Yes, but it's not really all that much, and Gran gave me some money. I have plenty in my bank account, and maybe I'll start looking for a job soon."
"And we can help with gardening and cleaning," the little boy offered.
"Yeah," Connor agreed without much enthusiasm.
"Paul?" Liam said tentatively. "If I have to go to school on my own, I won't be able to use Connor's phone… So can I have my own phone?"
"Erm, I suppose, but I think you're still too young to have access to the internet on your own, " I replied, trying to process his request, "so I could get you a dumb phone. Then you can still make calls and send texts. And I think some can also play music."
"Okay," he said, sounding a little disappointed, "but how old do I have to be to get a real phone?"
"Maybe ten."
"But Connor was only nine!"
"Almost ten," I replied.
"I don't care about internet, but I want a phone that takes pictures," the little boy said plaintively. "But if it's only a dumb phone, why do I have to wait until we change schools?"
"Whatever phone you get, if you want it while you're still living with David and Sarah, I need to ask them if it's okay."
Later, when I consulted with his foster carers and told them that I'd pay for everything, they said it would be okay with them if Liam had a smartphone, but that they'd disable internet access. As it later turned out, Liam used the phone almost exclusively for taking photos and listening to music.
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