He Had My Heart
by Junco
At first I wasn't completely sure I was doing the right thing by having Phillips mom along with me, but soon the both of us were talking, and I felt right at home with her. Of course Phillip came up in the conversation, and she mentioned talking to him on the phone this week.
"I've talked to him too," I said. "Just about everyday for the past month now."
"So I've heard,"
"Guess he told you all about James?"
"Not all the details," she said, "but I heard enough. I'm glad you're out of that situation."
"Yeah," I said, "I am too, but ya know, somehow I still miss him."
"Its normal," she said, "just part of the process."
"That's what Phillip said." I paused a moment, not wanting to get into a discussion about James. My thoughts about James were fading, but still I seemed to have some feelings about him, and it always confused me. I was ready for a break from that, so I changed the subject. "Did Phillip mention to you about meeting a boy at school?"
"He did say he was making new friends, and that he and Trent had become rather close, and I know what that means. He still mentioned you."
"I...well...we talked, and I knew it was going to be like this."
"Oh Shawn, he didn't want to go, but he did say there would always be a special place in his heart for you."
"That boy is soooo sweet," I said. "I wish he could have stayed here too."
It did look like Phillip was getting along fine, and his new friend, boy friend, what ever he was, did make a difference for him.
"Phillip said you were coming to see him this weekend."
"Oh yeah," I said. "Leaving right after work tomorrow."
"Give him a big hug for me," she said.
"At least one," I said, and more if Trent will let me get away with it." We smiled at each other, as my odd little joke came crashing back to me. Trent. What was he like I wondered. Phillip had said so little about him, except that being a native to the area, that he knew his way around everywhere. He was probably some rich brat tooling around in his parents BMW. How could I compete against that?
We arrived at my parents' house before my thoughts became too negative. Teddy barked, but just once as we made our way in the door, and toward the family room. "Hi Linda," my mom said. I gave my mom a big hug. I had a feeling we were both going to need it.
"Sarah, Bill, how nice to see you again. Sorry to have barged in on you without notice, Linda said."
"Bill and I are always glad to see you anytime. Please won't you sit down? Can I get you anything?"
"No thank you." We all sat down, a little uncomfortable, at least for me it was. I was certain my mom detected my awkwardness, but as always, she didn't let up that she knew. I suppose my dad may have known something too. I never knew when to give him credit, but he was the first one to speak after we all sat down.
"Son, I heard some rumors floating around about your company being bought out."
"I heard them too, and they are suppose to make some kind of announcement tomorrow."
"That's a little scary isn't it?"
"I was scared at first, but then Lisa told me not to worry." I paused for a moment, my stomach was doing flip-flops, and my palms felt sweaty. "Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you, something very important, and I brought Phillips mom with me as...as moral support I suppose. Look, I don't understand it, don't know how it happened, and believe me, I wanted to tell you differently. I wanted to tell you I was in love, and how beautiful it is. Well, I was in love, and it was very beautiful, but now everything has changed, and well, I just couldn't go on forever and not tell you."
I took a big breath, looked my mom in the eyes, and blurted it out. "I know this is going to sound strange, but I'm gay." There I said it. It was done, except for maybe about a zillion questions that my mom was going to ask. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry son, we still love you," my dad said. My mom got up, walked across the room and gave me a hug. She let me know I was okay, and that she was okay too. It was good being accepted so easily.
"I brought Phillips mom with me because...well because Phillip is gay too, and I figured she could help me explain it to you."
"I'm glad you brought Linda along with you, but we love you no matter what. You can tell us anything," my mom said with a warm smile.
"Had I known it would be this easy, I would have told you sooner."
"Well I've always wondered about you?"
"You have?"
"Don't worry son, it's not obvious," my dad said. If it wasn't for you're mom, I would have never guessed." I turned my attention to my mom to see what she had to say.
"We love you no matter what Shawn, but there's some things that you just figure out. Forgive me for saying this Linda, but one of those things I noticed was how Shawn and Phillip always hung out together."
"What does hanging with Phillip have to do with it?"
"Dear, I've always thought Phillip was gay, and I just figured you might be too, but it didn't matter to me."
"Wow. You knew about Phillip?"
"Didn't know for sure, but he always looked at you differently than any of the other boys did." I sunk back into the couch, and a smile came over my face, as the full force of what my mom said began to settle into my bones. The world was an amazing place, with lots of twists and unexpected turns. She accepted me, and so did dad, but her wisdom amazed me. Just when you think parents don't know anything, suddenly they know everything.
It was about that time when Teddy came bounding in with his ball, wanting someone to throw it for him. It took away from the seriousness of the conversation, and I had my filling of serious stuff. The question about James came up as we talked. He was a big part of how I discovered myself, so I had to tell them about the two of us. There were still a lot of questions, and that was all I could say. Truth was, I didn't know how I became the way I was, or if it was always apart of me. It might take years before I knew answers to questions like that, so what I had to do now was figure where do I go from here.
After taking Phillips mom home, I went back to my home, and packed clothes for the next day. I was excited about all the events taking place tomorrow. So much so that it took me forever to get to sleep.
At work the next day, our announcement came through. We were to all meet in the conference room, and as I entered, I saw the look of worry. Not many faces were without that look. I didn't know my fate for sure, but Lisa told me not to worry.
The president gave a speech about the company, and the efforts of everyone in the room. He praised us for our hard work, and for making us a successful business. He went on to say another firm, much larger than us, and more diversified, was in the process of buying us out. Only a handful of people were going to be let go, but there were going to be new positions for anyone who was qualified.
The company buying us saw potential in our firm, and a way to meet their needs as well. The main plant was to remain, and everyone there would be keeping his or her jobs. I could hear the sigh of relieve come over the room. There were plans for expansion of the plant, but they wanted to do so without getting into a lot of extra cost. What that meant was, the administrative people, of which I was a part of would be transferred, and offices at the plant revamped to allow for the plant expansion.
The process was to begin in two weeks, and that the admin staff would move in about a month. Our new home office was in Raleigh. We were to ask our individual supervisors about our schedule, then he thanked us for our time, and wished us luck.
When the day was over, I hurried home, and had the Jeep packed in no time. So much had happened that day, and the long drive allowed me to replay the meeting in my mind.
It was our meeting with Lisa, and our schedules and our new job assignments. I was going to be moving in a month. I could have stayed, but that meant looking for a new job, or getting one in production, and I didn't want that. Actually the idea grew on me rather quickly. Being in a small town, in the mountains of Virginia, didn't present much opportunity in any area. There wasn't a lot of work to be found, and not a lot of boys either. Not like minded boys that is.
After driving for a while, my stomach started yelling at me so I stopped for something to eat. Looking at the map, I found that Raleigh was very close to the UNC Campus. It looked like 20 miles or so between them. I found myself contemplating my move as I made my way south on the interstate. If only it had come a few months sooner, then Phillip and I could have moved down together. There wouldn't be a Trent in Phillips life. It could have been me. I almost got a little teary eyed, thinking how different things would have been with him. Why I ended up with James instead of Phillip was beyond me. His small frame and his sweet boy face had its affect on me. Each time I would see him, I became more attracted to him. I remember how excited he was when he was accepted at UNC. I was going to miss him something terrible, but I had to be happy for him.
We had become more than just good friends, especially after that one kiss. We would often go running together, and I always wanted to kiss him again, but that didn't happen right away.
It was August when James started going out of town again, after being home the month of July. That was the same time he got a cell phone. I'll never forget when he called me on a Friday night, telling me they we're going to stay an extra day. His boss was going to spend the day with his sister, and James was just going to hang around town. That was upsetting enough by itself, but when they returned on Saturday night, that's when my world came crashing down around me. James showed no emotion toward me at all. He avoided me the rest of the weekend, and was gone again on Monday morning. I called Phillip that Monday night, and told him about my weekend, but I wasn't able to explain very much before I started crying, so Phillip said he would be right over.
"Thank you God," I said, thinking how grateful I was. Phillip was in town the night when I called. He could have been off in school, like he is now. Being just across town was less than ten minutes, and Phillip was under that. I heard his car pull up in the drive, and I went out to the deck, waiting for him to come up. A smile came over my face, watching him ascend toward me in his muscle shirt and shorts.
"I am so sorry," Phillip said, and he put his arms around me, and kissed my neck. We went inside, and I told him everything that happened, or more like what didn't happen.
"This really sucks," Phillip said. Do you think he's found another boy?
"Don't know."
"Remember me telling you how I thought James might not care for a gay lifestyle."
"I remember."
"Could be, he's found another girl."
"James? I don't think so," I said, but then paused for a moment, thinking about it. "I guess it's possible."
"Look. You are like, way to cute to have to put up with something like this. You don't deserve to be treated that way." He held me tight, and kissed my neck again. "I have just a few days before I have to leave for school, but I did get a cell phone, and you can call me anytime."
"I'm going to miss you," I said looking into his bright blue eyes.
His hand went to the side of my face, "and I'm going to miss you too," he said as he started leaning toward me. That face of his, and his eyes really got to me. He was so irresistible, that I couldn't help but to lean toward him too. He kissed me square on the lips, then backed away as our eyes were on each other.
"What can I do for you? I want to help," he said.
"I just want somebody to hold me."
"I can do that," he said, and leaned toward me again, and put his arms around me the best that he could. It was an awkward position, both of us sitting there on the couch, but what I felt from him was helping. Emotionally I was drained, and what I needed was love. His arms around me felt so good, like I was loved again. I felt tears again, and they ran down my cheek, down to my chin, and spilled off onto his neck. I wasn't sure if I was more upset about James acting like he was, or the fact that Phillip was going to be off to school. All I knew was his love for me was helping to heal the wounds.
"Can you spend the night, here with me?
"Of course I can," he said. "In fact I was going to suggest it myself."
"Good," I said, "I really need you." He backed away slightly, and kissed my neck again, more loving this time, and more passionate. He kissed my tears, first one cheek, then the other, and then he kissed my lips. Our tongues found each other, but it wasn't an all out wild kiss. It was soft, gentle, and loving the way he kissed me.
Phillip had brought some beer with him, and we each had one. We talked the night away, and ended up having one more, before we retired for bed.
"Do you like, have a pair of shorts, or something I can wear to sleep in?"
"Sure. Let me get them for you." I handed him the shorts, while I went off to the bathroom, to pee. When I returned Phillip already had his shorts on, and was just taking off his shirt. It was his turn to go pee, and I watched him walking, half naked, and I felt a desire to be loved by him. I became embarrassed looking down at my shorts, it was obvious what was going on down there. The embarrassing part was I got that way just from looking at him. I crawled up into bed, and lay down on my side, facing away from the bathroom. When he returned, he cut off the lights, and lay down right behind me, spooning me. His hand was rubbing my bare chest, and I felt his warm body, plastering it's self against me.
If James had made love to me, I could of held out, and been true to him, but his absence of love had an affect on me. I wasn't able to resist what I was feeling now from Phillip. He started kissing the back of my neck, while his hand continued rubbing my chest and stomach. His kisses persisted on my neck, each successfive kiss becoming lighter to the point of being delicate. It surprised me that a touch so light could drive me to such a level of exciment. I about couldn't take it anymore, and felt the hair on my arms stand on end.
Then I felt his hard steel rod between my legs, and a slight moan escaped from my lips. His hand moved down further, and was just at the top of my shorts. I was breathing hard, moving my body back against his, pressing into him as hard as I could. His hand moved easily under my shorts, and started rubbing me lower and lower, till he reached my dick. I was panting hard, squirming, and feeling the length of him at my butt.
I was impressed out how we fit together. We were the same size, the same build, and we just seemed to fit. Every bend and curve in my body was matched equally by him, and as I moved, so did he. I became entranced by his body, his soft touch, and the kisses on my back and neck.
He stopped for a second, removed my shorts, then removed his, and returned to his original position. Now I could really feel him, hot, hard as a rock, and sliding back and forth against my ass. My squirming became more intense, and my moaning was becoming more of a squeal. I wanted him inside me, and badly, but part of that desire was more than a sexual thing. Phillip was my friend, and had been forever and ever, and this was something that would take our friendship to another level.
The soft kisses persisted on my neck, and I heard his moans too. He was just as excited as I was, maybe more so. He pinched my nipple between his fingers, and I let out a yelp.
"Did I hurt you?"
"No, not at all. It felt really good."
He continued to rub me there, and repositioned himself slightly at my backside, placing his hot dick, right at the entrance, and I could do nothing to stop him. I didn't want to stop him, not now, not ever.
I remember thinking that I didn't want him to move, just stay right where he was, and let me feel him. That thought changed. I was continually getting more excited, and wanted him inside me more than ever now. He had to know what I wanted. It was my actions, and my soft cries that told him.
"Where's you're lube?" He asked.
"Top drawer, right behind you." He fumbled for a moment then I felt his finger, wet and slippery right where I wanted him. There was a slight pause as he put some lube on him, then I felt him. He proceeded with great caution as the smallest part of him started in. I was happy that he was going slow, but I didn't realize all the reasons why till he was in just a little further. He felt so big inside me, and when he went in a little further I realized why he was going so slow. Phillip was undoubtedly well blessed, his size becoming more and more apparent to me. I hadn't ever seen him naked, so I didn't know how big he was, but now I knew, and began to enjoy my new pleasure.
Size wasn't my only pleasure. Phillip moved in a different way, something that sent sparks throughout my whole body. Finally he was all the way in, and he stopped for a moment.
"Boy, you are tight," he said.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Not at all. You feel really good to me."
"Feels good to me too," I said. "You feel so big to me."
"Am not. I'm no bigger than you are."
"Um...it sure feels like you are."
He started moving in me, while his arm was around my chest. As he would pull into me, his arm tightened down on my chest, as if to pull me down onto him even further. Each time he did this, I could feel his strength. The type of strength only a boy has, and I was so glad he was a boy.
His movements became faster, and soon we were both panting.
He then rolled me over on my stomach, and I felt him struggle to get up on his knees, pulling me up with him. Soon I was on all fours, butt in the air, as he let me have it. It had been a while since I had sex, and I felt myself getting very close, very quickly. I was about ready to cum, and hadn't touched myself yet, but then I reached down, and grabbed myself there, and in no time was ready to come. He must have been close to, because he picked up the tempo slightly, and went in harder and harder, till I couldn't take another second. We came together, both of us screaming, then I fell forward onto the bed, with Phillip in tow, right behind me.
"That was so awesome," I said.
"You're awesome," came his reply. "I've been dreaming about when this might happen, and it was far better than I thought it would be."
"Really?"
"You move just right. I like the way you squirm, and your squeal is perfect."
"I want to make you squeal sometime," I said.
"How does tomorrow morning sound?"
"Perfect. I just need some sleep."
"And you better get to sleep soon. It's almost 12."
"Dam, I didn't know it was that late."
The time didn't matter suddenly, I was there lying next to him, feeling his warmth, and inside me, joy and contentment. We managed to cuddle up together, and soon we were both asleep. I remember waking up several times, and each time he was touching me everywhere. I almost got up at 6:30, but lay a little longer next to my warm sleeping friend. The next time I woke up, it was nearly time for me to be at work. I rushed out of bed and took my shower. Phillip picked out some clothes for me to wear to work, and it helped me from being late to work.
"I'm sorry, but I have to leave now."
"Don't worry," he said. "I'll call you at work, and we can figure out the details later."
"Sounds like a plan to me." I hugged him for as long as time would allow, and then I was off to work. I thought about Phillip on my way to work, and through most of the day. That was a given. I wasn't expecting the feelings of guilt that kept creeping into my mind.
Because it was Phillips last night before going off to school, his mom prepared a nice dinner, one that I was invited to. He pulled at my arm the minute I walked in the door, and immediately we were in his room. That boy could really get to me the way that he hugged. I knew he was getting ready to leave, and I could tell it was an emotional time for him too. It wasn't going to be easy for any of us, seeing him leave like that.
You smell really good," he said.
"Thanks. I really hate your leaving."
"I know, it sucks."
"And I haven't felt so good most of the day," I said.
"Why not?"
"The obvious reason, but then I almost feel like I'm taking advantage of you."
"That doesn't make any sense," he said.
"Well, you're my friend, and I shouldn't be trying to get in your pants just before you leave. What kind of relationship is that? Then I really haven't ended things with James either. I don't know if I will end things with him, probably will, but before I do that, I end up sleeping with you."
"So you're feeling guilty right now?"
"That would be it."
He hugged me again and began talking while his arms were around me. "Perhaps we should have talked about it first."
"It might have helped," I said, "but we probably still would have slept together."
"True that."
"So what do we do?"
"Let me think about that," he said.
"Dinner." We both heard his mom call us, and we kissed once before proceeding down the stairs to eat.
It was after dinner when Phillip and I were standing in the kitchen with his mom.
"Mom, I'm going to spend the night with Shawn, if that's alright with you."
"I expected that. Just make sure you come by here in the morning so you can say goodbye to your dad before he leaves for work."
"Sure mom. I'll be back around seven or so."
"You boys have fun then."
"We will mom."
Phillip stopped along the way and bought us some more beer, and we each had one, and relaxed on the couch. At least I tried to relax, but I was still troubled, in my mind and in my heart. The night before was still vivid in my mind. The way Phillip made me feel was perfect, but it was our friendship I was worried about.
"So what do we do," I asked?
"I want to like, stay friends, but I've been thinking all day too. As much as I like you, well...maybe love you, I can't see having a relationship, while I'm in school, and you're stuck up here in the mountains."
"It's been on my brain all day. I feel like I've made less of our friendship by sleeping with you."
"Don't worry about that," he said looking into my eyes. "Last night was wonderful, and if anything, what we did was my fault. I'm the one that took advantage of you."
"No you didn't.
"Did to."
"But I needed someone to love me, so you gave me what I wanted."
"James hasn't been giving you what you needed, so why the guilty feelings?" he asked.
"Um...cause you and I won't be together after tomorrow." My eyes went out to the room, my brain was processing, why was I feeling guilty? I felt his hand on my chest, and I turned back, looking at his silky brown hair.
"Here's my thoughts," he said. "You're feeling guilty more because of James than me. I hate saying this cause you might love James, but I don't believe the two of you are going to be together a whole lot longer. He doesn't seem right for you. There's other guys that can give you what you need. James is too hung up on his sexuality, like he can't admit he's gay, if that's what he really is. You need someone you can love, and be able to share your love anytime you want to. You're feeling guilty cause of him, even though I don't think there is much there to feel guilty about. Not after the way he's treated you."
"Umm...you don't think much of James?"
"Not that," he said, "it's more his actions, how he treats you, that's what I don't like."
"I get what your saying." I paused for a moment, then continued. "Maybe your right, maybe I shouldn't feel guilty about James. But I shouldn't be trying to get you in bed either. I mean, living so far apart, how could I have a relationship with you."
"It's okay," he said placing his hand on my leg. "I understand if you don't want to sleep with me tonight."
"That's not it at all. I really want to...I...umm...don't want to take advantage of you."
"You wouldn't be doing that," he said. "For years I've wanted you. I wanted you to be mine, and for me to belong to you. Now I finally have the opportunity to be with you the way I've always wanted, and while it's way too short, at least I'll have memories of you. We didn't exactly go out on dates or anything, but we've been friends a long time, and I know you, and you aren't taking advantage of me."
I'm not?"
"Nope." He paused a moment, and I got a gleam in his eye. His eyes shone at me as he said, "I'll never forget how good you felt last night. It was wonderful."
"I know," I said, "I really needed you."
"That's for sure. The way you carried on last night, I could tell you really liked it."
"Um...you felt so good in me, I didn't want it to end. Then afterwards, I was so content, so peaceful, like I had a major attitude adjustment."
"See," he said quickly, "you needed me. You shouldn't feel guilty about that, not if I wanted it too."
I reclined back into the couch, and felt his hand move back and forth on my leg. I didn't want him to go. I was feeling closer to him than ever before. If someway he could have stayed, I knew in my heart that we would be perfect for each other.
"Why the glum look," he said.
"I don't want you to leave."
"I know," he said. "Are you feeling it too?"
"Feeling what?"
"Had circumstances been a little different, that you and I...we like could have been together?"
"How did you know?" I asked.
"Cause I know you, and I can see it in the way you look at me", he said.
He was right. I felt a deep concern for him, his future, maybe our future. I didn't think I was in love with him, but maybe I was. I could fall for him in a minute, but something was holding me back. It wasn't the right time, and I wasn't sure if it would ever be the right time. I wanted that time to come, but something told me I wasn't ready for it.
"I'm going to get another beer," he said. "Do you want one?"
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."
When Phillip returned, he set our beers down, and plopped down right next to me. I felt his warmth, his skin touching mine, but I also felt his soul, the warm person inside his skin, and his hand went back on my leg. He handed me my beer, and we both took a drink of the cold liquid.
"I came over here 'cause I wanted to spend time with you, and I wanted to sleep with you," he said. "But if you don't feel comfortable with that...we can party, then I can go."
"No. Don't go," I said strongly. "It is a little confusing to me, but I really want you to stay."
"Good," he said, reaching down between my legs. His hand was on me, his fingers rubbing that sensitive part of me, and suddenly he had my complete attention.
"You know," he said, "this guy here," and he took a good hold of me there, "I really want to see him in action."
"I think he wants a piece of you too," I said in-between breaths.
"Are we in agreement then?" he asked.
"Looks that way."
"Lets just enjoy tonight then," he said. "If we decide to carry this further, we can later on, but we would have to live close to each other."
"That's cool."
"You know I'm going to school and I'm going to meet lots of new people, and I just might meet a cute boy."
"You? No, you are going to meet a boy, I have no doubt in my mind."
"You might meet a hottie yourself," he said, "and if you do, then don't feel guilty about me. You just go on and do your own thing, whatever that is. Just promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"If James doesn't treat you any better soon, then move on. It's not right for you to have to deal with that all the time."
"I know."
"So do you agree with me?" He asked.
"Yup."
"And you still want to have fun with me tonight?"
"Sure do," I said looking at the side of his neck. I was thinking about kissing him there. He still had a hold of me, and squeezed his hand a little tighter on me, as I leaned over and went for my target. I came up for air, but only briefly. My attraction to him was hard to break. In my mind, there was no going back, and the boy in front of me now, was destined to be mine, if only for one more night. I went back to his neck, and ran my hand across his chest, while I felt the pressure of his hand as he continued to rub me, making me harder than before. I got my hand up under his shirt, and kept rubbing his chest, while Phillip undid my pants, and pulled them down. I let go of him a second and helped get them all the way off, and he backed up, away from me, then leaned down, as his face went into my crotch. His mouth was everywhere on me, but then I felt him close around my hardness, and I let out a deep gasp. He was making me feel so good, and there was no doubt that he knew what he was doing. The way he moved in all directions, his mouth clamping down on me, and tongue was something else. He was finding all kinds of sensitive places on me, places I didn't know were there.
Phillip took a break, sat up and took a couple of drinks from his beer, but never took his eyes off me. When he set his beer back down he reached for my shirt, took it over my head, then I removed his. I took his hand, and stood up, and followed him into the bedroom. I was right behind him, and my hands reached out toward his ass. I felt it, knowing I was wanting him more now than before. I off his jeans and then his underwear, and found myself staring at his beautiful body. We lay down in the bed together, and kissed for the longest time. I kept pulling him tighter to me, and ran my hand down his butt feeling the curves and the softness of his skin. I rolled him over on his back, moved down the bed a little, and kissed his chest till I found his nipple. I kissed him there, harder and harder, while my hand found its way in-between his legs. It was so exciting for me, partly because this was going to be new for me, but mostly because of what I was doing for him. He was constantly reminding me by his sounds, and his squirming, that I was giving him something special.
I grabbed the lube, and he turned and rolled over on his stomach. I put some on my fingers, then on him, as his butt started moving around, wanting me inside him. I sort of prolonged the event, giving my eyes plenty of opportunity to look at the beautiful sight in front of me. When I was done, he rolled around to his back, and held out his hand, waiting for me to pour some lube on it. My eyes went shut when he touched me, and felt myself ascending to the realm of major excitement as I felt the stroking of his hand on me. I gave one look at him, and he gave me that look of desire right back at me. I had been kneeling down along his side, but I moved in between his legs, and immediately his legs went up in the air. I moved closer, and not knowing where to put my hands, placed them on the back of his legs, putting his knees up near his head. I wasn't too sure how to place myself to get inside him, but Phillip knew what to do, and reached down and grabbed my hard, and now very hot member, directing it to the right place. I felt resistance at first, but as soon as I was in just a little, I could feel the resistance breaking down, and this huge feeling of enjoyment gripping us both. When I opened my eyes, I found him looking at me, his face, slightly strained, but happy. That look of extreme pleasure on his face was immensely satisfying to me. Actually it was me, I was inside him now, and I was the one giving him this pleasure. It was my movements that made him cry out, and moan. He looked so fine there, lying below me, and the look on his face, his soft moans, how he felt to me as I moved in and out. It all seemed to come together, each piece just a part of the bigger puzzle.
The deeper I went the louder Phillip got, till I was in all the way. I experimented how I moved, how far in I went, and how fast I moved. No matter what I did, it all felt good to me, and I could tell Phillip was having the time of his life too.
Because I seemed to be the one in charge, I took my new power, and decided to go at him slightly different. Ever so carefully I back out of him, moved back over to his side, but laying down next to him this time. My hand seemed to fall down the side of his body, gently directing him as I reached his hip, and I watched my new power, as he rolled over on his side. His head turned back to me, his eyes watching my body movement, wondering how far to turn over. He seemed eager to please me as I held him in place. He could have lay on his stomach, and I would have liked that too, but for now, I moved up closer as he wriggled back toward me. I felt his back for a moment, my hand gliding across the smooth skin. I started to ease back inside him, and my hand instinctively went around his body, up to his chest. Holding him like that seemed to give me extra leverage, and soon I was using that as I pulled myself in as deep as I could go. I moved very slow, very deliberate, but also I pulled him down on me, as I was pushing up, and I felt a rhythm take over. I was loving every second, Phillip squealing as I pulled him down onto me. I felt the strength in his upper body, as I continued to smack into the lower portion of his body.
I felt really good, like I was going to come soon, but I wasn't ready to let go of him just yet. We stopped, and I moved off the bed, standing there at the side of it, watching him catch his breath. I caught his eyes again, as he turned and looked at me. He was so innocent looking the way his eyes met mine. I reached for his foot, and he began spinning him around as I gently pulled his foot to me. When I reached for the other foot, he knew what I was after, and moved toward me. Soon each of his legs were on either side of me, his back on the bed as he lay there facing me.
I loved my bed, it was so tall, and was the perfect height for what I had in mind. I pulled him closer till his ass was about to fall off the bed, and raised his legs up high. I maneuvered closer to him, and felt the tight, warm and slippery feeling as I entered in again. He threw his head back as I did this, then looked up at me again, just like he did the first time inside him. Once again I started off slow, but my tempo picked up till I was banging on him hard. He was practically yelling at me as he squealed at the top of his lungs. I couldn't last much longer at this pace, but suddenly felt a renewed energy, and I only went at him harder and faster. By this time Phillip was wildly thrashing about, and stroking himself till I felt him tighten up. When he came the pressure I felt grabbed me and I in turn was right behind him.
I'll never forget that look in his eyes, sort of sleepy, dreamy like, both of us panting trying to focus onto the other one, except for the feeling of ecstasy that had completely over come us. I felt timeless, and connected with him, almost like I had known him from another life. I embraced the thought then, and even now, I still wasn't able to gain any more insight as to the meaning of that union. The miles ticked away, and so did my hope of coming to grips with my questions. The weeks and months had passed since Phillip first went off to school, and just as I figured he met someone right away. Trent probably wasn't going to be my favorite person. He would be in constant judgment of my critical eye, as I remained mindful of my protection over Phillip. He had my heart, if only he was able to take it.
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