The Light
By and © Joe Writer Man
Chapter 63
*-* Sunday *-*
After a round of hugs, Peggy, Antoine and I took off for the mission. When we were about 20 minutes away from home, the area became sparse with people. Not too many people lived down that way. The city had spoken of rehab but for lack of funding and overall interest nothing ever hit the city's planning table.
Periodically, I would look into the back seat at Antoine. His head was held low. A couple of times he looked up sensing that I was looking at him... his eyes were gaunt, worried, and yes, angry too. The other times he was looking out the window toward the ocean. He would scoot to the edge of the seat and put his hand on Peggy's shoulder then he'd sit back and put his seat belt back on around his waist.
"There it is. Up there on the left." Antoine said quietly.
After parking maybe 30 feet from the front of the house, I put the Escalade in Park but left the engine idling.
The house was dilapidated, tired, worn out ... long ago in need of paint, nails and hinges to hold the shutters to work as they were designed to, stairs in desperate need of repair to fix the gap between them, to level them out.
What made this place homey however was a beautiful garden out front, religious fixtures set in a white rock, closed in area on the ground and neatly placed ocean rocks and sea shells all lined in a neatly spaced row as well as a few that were scattered in places. The garden was quite impressive.
My concentration was broken by Antoine undoing his seat belt, rattling the door handle trying to get out.
"Antoine, wait a minute. Rest easy, child. Relax. Take a deep breath." Peggy said very calmly, soothingly. She unbuckled her seat belt then climbed over the front seat and into the back seat where she pulled Antoine into her arms and held him firmly.
He looked up at me. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears yet he had this blank look in his eyes, like he was contemplating something, perhaps even something malevolent?
He looked away when I began to speak so I did not say anything. When I looked through the windshield, I noticed a young man walking onto the sandy beach from the surf. He was coming toward us. As he got closer and closer, I noticed that he was not wearing a stitch of clothing. I did not say anything to anyone thinking that the guy was a beach-go-er just out for a swim, or that he lived close by since no motels or hotels were in the vicinity - but then realized no other houses were in this area, except for this one. My heart skipped a beat or two, perhaps three.
When the boy was perhaps 30 feet away, Antoine caught sight of the boy. His whole demeanor suddenly changed from one of sadness to a determined, well controlled seething anger. I could see it in his eyes.
With all of my heart and soul, I wished I knew of something that I could say or do to lessen his, what readily appeared to be, malevolent stirrings. But I could not think of anything appropriate - I tried to understand where he was at but could not since I had never before been in a situation such as he was experiencing.
When the boy approached our vehicle, I noticed he could not have been any more than 13, maybe 14 years old. He was small statured, he had a head of black, windblown and salt laden hair. His arms and legs were skinny, too skinny. His eyes, when he looked my way were dark and sad. The boy stopped in front of our vehicle then stared at me.
Antoine did not miss a thing. Despite Peggy's attempts to get him to sit back with her, he climbed on top of the front seat back rest then said, evenly, intently "Mr. Blake, please unlock my door."
"Antoine. Listen to me very carefully."
"Mr. Blake, please open the door, now." While he was polite, his voice, the look in his eyes gave me a chill that ran up and then down my spine, taking a different route right through my heart.
Suddenly this idea came to mind to me "Antoine. I have an idea. Please hear me out."
"I am sorry, Mr. Blake. But if Pablo is in that house he must pay, and he will pay with his life. Look at that boy's testicles..."
"Antoine, that's Jesus. He was with you when Manual died... don't you remember?"
I looked to Antoine. I was shocked at hearing Peggy's proclamation. I looked to Peggy, "That isn't the boy they released?"
"No, that's Maria's next oldest son, Jesus, pronounced hey-zeus. Antoine, that boy standing in front of Jim's car did not hurt Manual. He was with you when Manual died... don't you remember?"
"Antoine, stay here. Do not move. Do not go anywhere. I'm going to find out about Maria. What's the oldest son's name and what does he look like?"
Peggy told me. Antoine was dumbfounded... he had this clearly confused look on his face. He looked at me and nodded.
"I know that you are angry and hurt. My heart breaks with the thought of that poor woman losing her son. I cannot even imagine her pain. Let's do this the right way. Give it a chance. If you are not willing to see this differently then we should leave right now before this gets out of control."
Seeing that I had Antoine's undivided attention, I continued "Son, I want you to stay here. I'll meet the boy. He is probably just as curious as would I at finding a strange, foreign vehicle outside of my home. I will take the clicker with me. If things do not go well then I will unlock the doors then go from there. I see no reason to put him further out on the defensive plank if it can be avoided. I see absolutely no reason for you to interact with him, not right now because I do not believe doing so would be in the best of anybody's interests."
"Jim, put that clicker in your hand. Put your finger on the trigger. If anything and I mean anything at all goes crazy then let me at him. I will finish what I started yesterday ..." Antoine quietly hissed through clenched teeth.
"Stay here, Antoine." I said unlocking my door, opened it then once convinced he would not spring out, I stepped outside of the vehicle to meet this boy intelligently. I closed the door, double clicked so that all doors were once again locked then walked up to the boy who was warily looking me in my eyes.
"¿Quién eres y qué haces aquí?" [Who are you and what are you doing here?] He asked.
Though I am not fluent in Spanish, I can generally converse 'just enough' to have a half-way intelligent conversation with someone of its descent. I replied haltingly and painfully "Mi nombre es Jim Blake. Simplemente estoy aquí para ver en su madre." [My name is Jim Blake. I am simply here to check on your mother.]"
"Entonces, ¿quién eres? ¿Cuál es su preocupación?" [So who are you? What is your concern?]
"¿Cómo te llamas, hijo?" [What is your name son?] I asked calmly.
"Yo no soy tu hijo. ¿En qué negocio es el suyo?" [What business is it of yours?]
"Vamos a que tengo un interés personal en que usted y su madre bienestar. Sus áreas privadas parecen ser bastante magullada y dolorida, obviamente. No es que yo le prestaba atención a sus asuntos personales ... no son más que notables." [Let's just that I have a vested interest in you and your mothers' well being. Your private areas appear to be quite bruised and sore, obviously. Not that I was paying any attention to your personal business ... they are just noticeable.]
"Sí, por lo que? ¿Qué es para usted?" [Yeah, so? What's it to you?]
"Digamos que estamos familiarizados indirectamente por los ..." [Let's just say that we are indirectly acquainted by those ...] I said pointing to the boy's man glands, thinking all the while that they had to hurt something terribly... I wondered how that happened.
"Jesus." He said then headed to the stairs leading up to the house. After reaching the top of them he looked back at me then turned away and went into the house.
Immediately, I became concerned because it is not unheard of for someone, after the exchange of words we had had, to get a loaded weapon to do away with an intruder.
All things considered, I went to the door then looked in only to find him looking at his mother sitting in her chair. The sight of her shocked me to the core. Her face was black, blue, swollen and her eyes were but tiny slits. She moved slowly, painfully in her rocking chair as to get up then sat back down. Looking to this boy, who I took to be her son, she said "¡Que pulg Él trae ningún daño." [Let him in. He brings no harm.]
The boy, not knowing that I had been observing him turned then waved me in.
I opened the screen door, entered then said to the lady "Buenos días, mi nombre es Jim Blake. Estoy aquí para verificar su condición. y para ver si hay algo que puedo hacer por usted." [Good morning, my name is Jim Blake. I am here to check on your condition. And to see if there is anything I can do for you.]
"No, yo estoy bien. Mi hijo ha regresado. Él cuidará de mí. ¿Cómo nos ha conocido?" [No. I am okay. My son has returned. He will take care of me. How do you know us?]
I decided to be totally honest, forthright, genuine and sincere ... "Sí, por supuesto. Lo siento por la pérdida de su manual. Estoy aquí para el chico que sostenía a su hijo cuando murió." [Yes, of course. I am sorry for your loss of Manual. I am here for the boy that held your child when he died.]
She began crying and wheezing. The boy, who I now knew to be Jesus, cringed noticeably then said "¿No puedes ver a mi madre hace daño? Déjennos en paz. Desaparece." [Can't you see my mother hurts? Leave us alone. Go away.]
"Sí, ya veo. Lo siento mucho la pérdida de su hijo. Jesús es su nombre?" [Yes, I see. I am very sorry of the loss of her son. Is your name Jesus?]
He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me then his mother reached for his hand, took it in hers then wiping away her tears after regaining her composure said "Gracias por tu preocupación. Con la ayuda de Dios, voy a salir de esto. No, no hay nada que puedas hacer para traer Manual de nuevo a mí. Era un buen muchacho. Nunca perdonamos a Pablo por lo que hizo. NUNCA. Jesús es un buen chico también ... él sólo siguió los pasos de sus hermanos. Que significa que no hay daño. Sí, pero se lesionó Manual Manual fue divertido así." [Thank you for your concern. With the help of God, I shall get through this. No, there is nothing you can do to bring Manual back to me. He was such a good boy. I shall never forgive Pablo for what he did. NEVER. Jesus is a good boy too ... he just followed in his brothers' footsteps. He means no harm. Yes, he hurt Manual but Manual was funny like that.]
"Maria, tengo que preguntar ... Pablo está aquí, ¿verdad salir de la cárcel?" [Maria, I must ask you... is Pablo here, did he get out of jail?]
"No." Maria said emphatically, fearfully.
"¿Es usted positiva ... Lo siento, tengo que saber para su seguridad." [Are you positive... I'm sorry, I have to know for your safety.]
Maria shook her head no. Jesus spoke up, "Mi hermano ... está en la cárcel. Él hizo esto para mí." [My brother... he's in jail. He did this to me.]
"Bueno, voy a ir ahora. Señora, yo sé que esto es muy difícil para usted. ¿Cuándo es el funeral Manual? Nos gustaría asistir." [Okay, I will go now. Ma'am, I know this is very difficult for you. When is Manual's funeral? We would like to attend."
"Sí. Gracias. El funeral tendrá lugar mañana a las 3:00 pm en la iglesia. El padre de Ben, él es un buen hombre. Trató de ayudar a Pablo." [Yes. Thank you. The funeral will be tomorrow at 3:00pm at the church. Father Ben, he is a good man. He tried to help Pablo.]
"Estaremos allí. Jesús, el niño que cumplan, estarán allí también. Amaba Manual. Él es un chico muy buena. Vio a su madre herida y estaba con Manual cuando murió. Usted debe darle las gracias por no permitir Manual de morir solo. Pero, usted hace lo que creo que es correcto. ¿De acuerdo?" [We will be there. Jesus, the boy you met will be there also. He loved Manual. He is a very good boy. He saw your mother hurt and he was with Manual when your brother died. You should thank him for not allowing Manual to die alone. But, you do what you think is right. Okay?"
Jesus nodded then sat down next to his mother. He looked down to the floor, found an imaginary visual object on it then stared at it intently with his shoulders slumped forward. When he saw that I was not immediately leaving he looked up into my eyes then said "Si." [Yes.] With that, he looked back down to the floor.
I walked out of the house then made my way to the Escalade. Peggy was sitting in the front passenger seat. Antoine was leaning over the front seat back looking at me expectantly.
After getting inside, I turned to Antoine and said, "Pablo's in jail. He has not been released. And, Jesus thanks you for being with Manual when he died."
After sitting down and clicked his seat belt locked, he said very quietly, "They have a beautiful garden."
"Yes they do. The funeral is at 3:00pm tomorrow. Manual's mother is expecting us to be there."
Antonio shivered. A lone tear escaped his dark, deep brown and tired eye then rolled down his cheek and onto his pants. He made no attempt to move. As we made our way home along the beach road, Antoine, whenever I looked back in the rear view mirror, was watching out over the ocean.
...
After arriving home, Matt warmly greeted Antoine, me then Peggy. When hugs were given and received, Antoine took off upstairs taking two steps at a time.
We all looked at each other. Peggy started after Antoine then stopped and turned toward me when I said, "Peggy, he needs some time to work out his feelings. Let him come to you when he's ready."
She nodded reluctantly then came to me. We embraced warmly.
Sleepily, Matt walked into the bar area where Peggy and I were embracing and said "Where's Antoine?"
"Honey, he's upstairs. He's processing a lot of emotions right now. A lot of it he has to work out for himself." Peggy said softly as she drew Matt into our hug.
"I'm going upstairs to be with him." Matt said, looking at us seeking our approvals.
"Okay, Matt. You may have the answers to the questions he is asking himself."
After Peggy and I helped him up the stairs, he stopped in at the restroom. We went back downstairs, made drinks, got comfortable in the TV room, turned on a movie ... and then fell asleep wondering what was going on upstairs ... would Matt be able to reach Antoine in the way he needed to be reached?
*-*
After unloading a load and draining the can into the sewer system, and after washing my hands and brushing my teeth good, I headed to Antoine's room where I found his door closed but I knew he was in there - his fragrance follows him, leads him anywhere he goes. His fragrance is pleasant much like the smell of a lilac bush is pleasant - the bush, its flower smells emanate in all different directions. Not only is Antoine's aroma wildly pleasant, it creates amorous responses in me. I giggled at the thought that my nose is directly hard-wired to my male appendage.
Very quietly, I stealthily took 3 steps in into the darkness. I thought that this is so unlike him, he thrives on light and the trade winds blowing through his room, he's said so.
The only sound coming from within his room was a rhythmical, deep breathing coming from his lungs through his nose.
I sat down on the chair sitting at the side of his bed then just let his breathing sounds and pleasant smells overtake me, like that when one is in a hypnotized state, nearly oblivious to all that is around that person in that moment, in that slice of time.
My moments were interrupted when he sniffled. He moved his arm slightly then his rhythmical breathing became deeper and more regular.
I began feeling a longing to be with him in every way, but not sexually, not right then anyway.
Quietly, I got up then quietly, very quietly tossed my over-sized t-shirt onto the floor then got into bed and snuggled up and spooned this dude who I am growing to love more and more every day.
Antoine stirred in his sleep. As if he were hard wired himself, he grabbed my hand then wrapped in into his chest, for safe-keeping?
"I love you." A very sleepy voice said as he squeezed my hand firmly then released it to lie where he had put it.
"I love you too." I said then very gently kissed the back of his neck.
His breathing returned to a very, very deep rhythmical state. The squeeze he had put around my hand relaxed.
Very slowly, I took my hand out of his then very softly and carefully caressed his arm up to his neck then down over his shoulders then down his back to the point where my tummy was touching his soft, warm skin. I dared not to go further because to do so would have touched my dick that was nestled into his valley of darkness. But that didn't stop me, my hand then flowed over his running shorts and down over his very strong upper thighs.
His breathing changed very little, if any during my very slow ascent to where his legs, all 3 of them, joined in the middle of his perfect creation. Slowly, my hand went searching for his fleshy protrusion of pleasure. I found it. It was lying lazily within the confines of the running shorts he was wearing. I found no evidence of any thicker material that one would find had he been wearing underwear.
He stirred in his deep, deep sleep as I could not stop myself from squeezing his maleness. Like he was, his pole of pleasure was very much asleep just as he was. I did not wish to wake him, however pleasurable as it might have been - so I ran my hand around his overhang then up and into his crevice. Very quietly, very discretely, my finger found its mark. I pressed very lightly. His pucker gave a slight spasm then relaxed.
"What are you doing there?" Antoine said sleepily.
Not knowing what else to say, I asked the first thing that came to my mind "Would ya believe my finger got cold?"
"Okay." He replied groggily. Quickly but only momentarily he clenched his butt cheeks together tightly creating a cocoon of warmth and safety for my finger then released them.
I moaned when my arm touched my raging hard prong. I felt a warmth, a wetness on my forearm where it had touched. I knew I was going to lose a load right then and there, and there was nothing I could to stop it. I did manage to drill my spewing cock into the bed linens instead of into Antoine. I counted 4 maybe 5 spasms of ecstasy then they slowly dissipated into soft aftershocks. When they were done, I needed to get up and find something to wipe the evidence of my emission from his bed ... so I started to but then Antoine reached for my wrist, held it firmly and said very softly "Don't go, please."
"Uhm, I'm sorry but I need to get up. I kinda sorta, well, I mean, well, you know ... uhm, and I made a mess and need to wipe it up." I stammered.
He rolled over onto his back taking my hand with him because it was caught between his naked butt cheek and his running shorts which had tightened up considerably. Not a bad place to be, but ...
When I freed my hand, I ran it up and over his hips, found his cock that very urgently was pushing up through his shorts. Unable to stop myself, I reached over and kissed his pulsating organ through that flimsy nylon fabric. He had a small place on his shorts, right above his head that was very wet. He moaned when I kissed his essence once again.
Without anybody saying a word, he quickly lowered then kicked off his shorts out into the darkness.
Very gently, very caringly, very slowly he helped me to lie on top of him, nose to nose, chin to chin, and yes lips to lips, chest to chest, belly to belly, and yes dick to dick, thighs to thighs, knee caps to knee caps, then our toes intertwined together. He began rocking us gently up and down. When he went down, I reached my hand down into his package then placed his dick between our bellies.
His up thrusts were met with my down thrusts. Our lips were very passionately, very deliberately, and very urgently ... busy. Very unlike Antoine, he brought our passion to an entirely different level when he sliced his tongue through my lips, forcibly separated my teeth (not really, I became a slave to his tongue, what can I say?), then entered my caldron of oral need and desire. We went searching, and I mean we went searching for tonsilar tissue deep into the depths that I had never before experienced.
His balls, his big beautiful balls had my cock nestled between them. With each thrust of our bodies, as his balls were becoming tighter and tighter, my cock, just like his, was soon begging for ... were demanding of ... and then ... not to be denied - spasms of sheer rock hard pleasure totally and undeniably overtook our bodies, minds and yes, our souls. I was totally lost into it, not even realizing that Antoine had his strong arms around me in a vice lock grip as he shook, spasmed, sputtered and shot massive loads of his molten hot lava between our naked bellies.
When the moment, actually the experience seemed to last an hour, maybe two, passed, his grip relaxed, our kisses became less passionate yet even more passionate, if that makes any sense. It did make sense. Though our kisses were not urgent, they were no longer of the 'slam the lips hard' variety ... well, we just basked in warmth, safety and serenity.
I know guys, according to estimates and everything, supposedly cum maybe only a teaspoon full - yet the evidence on our chins, our necks, our chests, and yes, even our bellies discount, discredit, dismiss and denigrate that theory. We were soaking wet. The jizz running down and off of our bodies tickled as it made its way to the bed under which my boy-man lie.
As we were basking in the post-orgasmic state of well being, Antoine reached under me, scooped up some of our jizz in his fingers then said, "My finger is cold now."
I nodded affirmatively into his neck then kissed his jaw line as I splayed my legs out as far as I comfortably could. He took over from there. His hand gently caressed my ass cheeks then he dipped his wet finger deep into my crevice, found its mark then gently, ever so gently pushed until it broke through the ring. I softly raised my butt. He took it as I didn't want it ... I said "I'm pushing up as you push down ... that feels so fucking good! Don't stop."
After kissing me, my love canal eagerly and wantonly and hungrily took and grabbed each and every last digit he could offer to me.
"Does that feel good?" Antoine asked me sheepishly.
"Oh, you do not know ... don't stop. Try pulling your finger out until it is almost out then push it back inside of me. I'm clean in there so don't worry about 'that'."
I don't know how but I was beginning to feel a stirring in my loins, once again. Antoine's pole of pleasure was also firming up lying between us. My butt hole was getting a very raw feeling yet the pleasure factor was still hands down over any discomfort I was experiencing ... Antoine began softly undulating his hips ...
"Boys, can we talk? Oh, I 'm sorry ... I'll come back later. Better yet, never mind ... I'll close your door." Peggy said.
Dad giggled but they immediately left, closing the door behind them.
"Busted!" I giggled somewhat worriedly, but not quite, not enough to break our moment.
"We'd better get up." Antoine said softly but he had worry in his voice at the same time.
"It's my fault. I forgot to shut the door."
"Oh?"
"Peter says that closed doors are respected, and that unless a fire or death and destruction and any other catastrophe exists - then closed doors are respected for privacy. Help me up." I said then kissed my dude warmly.
With his finger still firmly impaling my deepest and darkest tunnel he started giggling, "I guess that means this <he wiggled his finger in my hole> has to go."
That said he too quickly pulled his finger out, "Ouch, fuck! Go slow when you take it out of there." I screeched with my butthole burning like fire.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know. Here, let me help you up."
After checking to see if the coast was clear, it was, we walked to the bathroom where we took a nice warm shower together. While I was washing Antoine's butt and crack, he got really skittish when I pressed on his back door and tried to gain entry to his love tunnel.
"Yeah, soap suds are not that pleasant back there. Come on, let's rinse off then go see what the 'rents want. I don't think we have anything to worry about though."
Not having any clothes of mine, I went to Peter's room, grabbed a pair of bright pink bikinis. They were way too big in front and hung on my hips limply ... but damn, they were hot so I grabbed a t-shirt from his closet.
Antoine stood at the door. He was like totally speechless, his mouth was hanging wide open, his eyes bugged out like he had been scared or something yet he was not afraid, not at all. Instead, he came to me, pulled me into a hug then let his hands roam down over my bare globes and said hissing with lust, "I like those on you!"
...
After arriving in the bar area, Peggy and dad were sitting there talking quietly then when we arrived they looked us, began smiling. Hugs were both given and received then we were motioned to sit on the bar stools in front of them.
Dad said "You guys need to close the door while you have your private moments. Don't be ashamed. Love happens <chuckle>. Privacy, you deserve it, so does everybody else in this place. Don't worry about it this time. You didn't know. We have a closed door policy meaning ..."
"Yes sir, Matt told me about it. Thank you. Where I grew up, there was no such thing as privacy."
I said "Thanks dad. Sorry Peggy."
Antoine nodded sheepishly.
Peggy said "While I have you both here at the same time, if or when you guys have full-out sexual intercourse, always, always, always wear a condom. Antoine, we have already talked about this ..."
"I heard you loud and clear. But mom ..." Antoine whined then turned beet red as if he were about ready to spontaneously combust right then and there on the spot.
"No buts, young man." Peggy said soberly then she too just about blew up right there in front of us after realizing what she had just said.
Saving Peggy's face I said "I know what you mean." Then I began giggling nearly uncontrollably - it hurt, and giggling like that hurt like hell.
When my spasms of levity passed, I looked up: dad was looking at me seriously, Peggy was looking at me seriously, Antoine, well he was looking at me as if I were a Martian from outer space.
Yes, I can blush, and did so. I thought that surely I would catch on fire. Whew.
Then gasoline was poured on the fire - they began giggling like crazy. Me, I just wanted to get swallowed up.
"Paybacks are hell around here, Matt." Dad said as he wound down from his giggling fit.
Seriously, I said "The condoms that you bought will never, in a million years, ever fit properly."
"Matt, gawd, I can't believe you act ..." Antoine said with disbelief clearly in his voice then walked out through the doors to the pool where he took off and tossed his shirt aside and dove in to be with the other guys.
"Matt, good grief ..." dad said incredulously.
"Dad, Peggy those rubbers won't fit. They barely even fit me. I tried one on." I said factually.
"Honey, I'm sorry but you seriously embarrassed Antoine. His size has been so much of an issue for him. Jim?"
"I'll see what I can find. Matt, you owe Antoine an apology for embarrassing him. Do it very soon."
"I'm sorry to you guys too but if you want us to have safe sex then we need something better than those. They are too thin. Yes, Peggy, I have been around the block, though not by choice." I said plainly then went out to the pool, tossed my t-shirt aside, let the bikinis slide down then David helped me into the pool.
"I'm sorry for embarrassing you. I did not mean to. But when it comes to safe sex then it has to be based on facts. I'm clean. You are clean, so we don't have a problem." I said to Antoine.
"Don't worry about it. My dad said that I am a freak of nature. I believed him then, and I believe it now."
David got really mad. "You are NOT a freak, Antoine. Just stop it you two. I live without this leg <pointing to his left leg>. I thought I too was a freak but I get around just fine. We make do. Stop feeling sorry for yourself."
"I've got a fake ball but I do not let it stop me from being me. I never even think about it." Peter said softly.
Allen then said "I have a great big birthmark on my butt."
"I'm a diabetic. I wear this thing on my stomach. You'll work it out Antoine. Trust me." Angel said factually.
"Trust me. You are not a freak. You have not been cursed. I have plans for you." I said with a smile.
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