The Light
By and © Joe Writer Man
Chapter 17
Concerned, dad asked quietly in my ear, "You okay?"
"Yeah, I just had to use the bathroom... I'm okay."
"Ella, can we put this off for a few days? I don't want to push Peter... this is very hard for him."
"Dad, I'm okay. Can we get this done so we don't have to do it again? Please?"
Without waiting for an answer, I sat down next to David then patted the seat for dad to sit back down. He looked at Ella. Ella looked at me... I was steadfast. She took her PDA out and continued to write...
I continued, "The guy was a total asshole. His pet name for me was faggot breath. Mom thought he was king of the world and treated him as such. She'd toss me aside and tell me to stay out of his hair, and hers too for that matter. The place was friggin huge so it was not that much of a problem to stay away from them. After a few days of living like a prisoner in 'their' own house and being shunned like a scumbag, I took off each morning hitching a ride into town where I would hang out at the park or take my boardies and go down to the beach to hang out there."
"One day, I had gotten there really early, like 9am, and was just walking around not really paying attention to anything or anyone. At lunch time, I went hustling by picking up tourists lunch trays when they were finished, and ate what I could, when I could, where I could. By 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon after not having had anything to eat since early morning, one does what they need to do. Rascal had taught me well, it served its needs. Anyway, I met this chick and after a while learned her name was Dawn, and that she was like me pretty much on her own and asked if she could hang with me. She was neat, in that we sort of fed off of each other, in a good way, and became fast friends. I taught her how to fiend tables and do the whole homeless things and prey off of tourists' good feelings and wads of cash, wads of cash that I surmised could not be spent in an entire lifetime."
"David, this part coming up is difficult for me to tell you. If you need to leave then I'll just go back and do what I know how to do. You ARE the love, the ONLY love of my life. You, your dad and Jeremy are the only people, EVER, who have showed their love to me without any expectations whatsoever in return."
"Peter ..." David said then I interrupted him.
"Hear me out, David. You need to know the total package that you are getting yourself into ..." I said then was interrupted again by David.
"Just wait a fucking minute, Peter. I love you. I love you, do you hear me? You're the love of my life, my reason for being and my reason for going on, DUDE. I was feeling like a piece of shit myself. I was debating on whether I even wanted to continue on with anything. Yes, absolutely yes, I'm snot snickered. Yes, snot snickered is an old Missouri hillbilly way of saying that I am totally and absolutely IN LOVE with you dude."
"But it gets rough here, David. I'm ashamed ..."
"Yeah, well I was ashamed too. Until some hustler named Peter came into my life and gave me purpose, you dipshit. You think I'm going to let you go without a fight, huh?" David said heatedly then broke down into racking sobs and then added brokenly, "Peter, I love you. I can take anything, just don't leave, please?"
Dad spoke up and said "Peter, nobody's going to kick you out of here. If you leave, it is because you left, you didn't give us a chance. David loves you very deeply. Jeremy loves you as a brother, a kindred spirit. I love you. You and Jeremy's story, although different, are not that much different in the overall scheme of things. Did you know that Jeremy too is adopted, that his parents tossed him out like a rag doll at 4 years old?"
"Dad, I was 7 when I came here."
"You were 4 Jeremy. You were found wandering the streets, not knowing where you came from or where you were going, or even what your name was. You were filthy dirty, you were sick with strep throat, you had bug bites all over you, and your butt was so raw from soiling your dirty filthy diaper. Peter, continue." Dad said assuringly, and at the same time hugged Jeremy.
"Yeah, I knew Jeremy is adopted but I didn't know the rest."
"Jim, boys, I am going to step out of here for a while. You guys have some stuff to talk about, and I need to make some phone calls. I'll be back in half an hour or so." Ella said.
Then she came over to me. I stood up then she pulled me into a really deep hug and said "Peter, I normally don't get emotionally involved with my clients but your story has moved me to break the unwritten rule. I truly believe that your family loves you and paperwork or not, they have already adopted you as their own. When a family forms bonds as yours has done, it can't be broken, other than maybe though death, and even then I'm not too sure it can be broken. So you guys just talk among yourselves for a while, and I'll be back in a little while, okay?"
"Okay, Ella. Don't be gone for too long though. I need to get this all out because it is holding me back from going forward. Sometimes bad things have to happen in order for good things to happen. (© ACFan, CSUProductions, CornerCafe.us).
"I'll be in the dining room. Just let me know when you're ready to continue." Ella said then walked out of the TV room to do what she needed to do.
"I'm in." Dad said.
"I'm in." Jeremy said.
"I'm in, you oaf." David said pulling me in to give me a passionate kiss.
We got up and went to the kitchen to refill our drinks.
"Anybody hungry?" Dad asked nobody in particular.
"Yeah." David and Jeremy spoke up. Ella just looked at us with a smile and said "That was quick. Already ordered. Supreme pizzas are on their way."
"Kewl." I said while wrapping her in a hug not to be forgotten any time soon.
The pizza arrived, and after stuffing ourselves full, we returned to the TV room, Hugs were given and received freely.
I continued, "Dawn was a really neat person. We called ourselves 'soul mates', destined to live our lives on some tropical paradise and be rich, never again having to resort to the things we had to do in order to survive, not really thinking that we would live our lives together but the idea was not totally out of the question either, we just didn't know, and had no reason to question anything out of the moment. That's it, we lived life as if there were no yesterday's, just today's, just right now's."
"One day last winter, I believe it was right at Thanksgiving time. Maybe it was actually the day of Thanksgiving. I don't really remember for sure. Anyway Mom and that guy were entertaining for the weekend and they told me to get lost back into my part of the house and to not bother them with my presence. By the way, my part of the house was a bedroom with its own bathroom and a dayroom."
"Back there, though, I was just lost in my own thoughts with no other distractions, or things to do. Getting lost was not all that difficult, considering direction was illusive."
"I took off early that day after throwing on a pair of jeans and one of my old t-shirts. This was not going to be a social visit, of course. I just wanted to get out of there and out of there I went. I still don't like to be around places where I'm not welcome, or wanted, or needed. I mean, what's the point? The point is that there is no point."
"You're certainly precocious for your 14 years of life, Peter." Dad said grinning.
"Precocious? What's that mean?"
"Precocious is when a young person is far more mature than the average person of the same age. Nothing's wrong with it." Dad said assuringly, smiling.
Ella nodded. "We see it very often in young people who've lived on the streets for any amount of time. Precociousness is simply a word to describe education based on environmental factors. This is not something to worry about, Peter."
"In other words, Peter, the correct definition is: smart ass! Just call him what he is." Jeremy said, breaking out into giggles which broke the tension in the room.
He then attacked me by putting me into a playful head lock, and began tickling me relentlessly.
David joined in.
Dad rescued me after I professed an urgent need to pee, and on them if they did not stop. True to my word, those of us who needed a potty break too took one then returned ready to continue.
Feeling safe and secure, I then continued. "After fooling around on the beach all day, I was getting ready to leave and return 'home'. On my way back, Dawn and I met on the sidewalk back to the street where we lived or existed. After exchanging a quick hug and pleasantries, she asked me to come to the beach with her so we could go swimming. We decided that since all tourists were gone going skinny surfing was not out of the question, in fact it would be the only way since neither of us had swimsuits and were both wearing jeans."
"We stood there grinning at each other for a few awkward moments waiting for the other to make the first move to undress. Dawn instigated <chuckle> our encounter when she came over and unsnapped my snap then unzipped the zipper, pulled my shirt up and my jeans and underwear out then peeked into my underwear and smiled big while reaching in with her other hand. He grabbed my dick, squeezing it firmly until it, uhm, I mean... well, it got hard."
"Backing off and away from me, she lifted off her blouse, tossed it on the beach towel then deftly took her own jeans apart and pulled them down and off. Standing there in her bra and panties, I thought nothing of removing my clothes including my underwear, which left me standing there naked and with an erection, yet it was going down rapidly sans any direct touch to it."
"Dawn came back over to me, after she had taken her bra and panties off and placed them on the towel also, put her hands and arms on my shoulders and slowly ran them over my shoulder blades, upper back, around my sides and lower back, and came to rest cupping my butt cheeks with her fingers resting in my crack. Likewise, I followed her lead with my hands following a similar course ending up with my hands on her butt cheeks. Yes, David, I was, by now, as rock hard as I could be because after I landed my hands on her ass, she brought her hand around and grabbed my dick and, well she seemed fascinated by it."
"I'm fascinated with it too." David whispered into my ear then chuckled looking deep me into my eyes, pulling me into him very firmly and together we pulled our lips into a passionate kiss with just a little bit of tongue action added in.
"Mmm hmmm, anyway, she pushed my dick down with her other hand so that it poked into her middle parts. After she slightly parted her legs, I, I mean my, uhm, dick felt that moist place and with a little shove from her, it went in. I tried to pull back, yet my body reacted by slamming into her and, well, uhm ... I shot into her. David, it felt good on my penis, but I wasn't there at the same time. My body just reacted. You see, David, I didn't love her, I mean I liked her a lot as a friend, I think, but I don't love her the way you and I do."
"Did you do it again, Peter?" David asked.
"Not really. Not like that. I mean I didn't put it into her again, but we masturbated when we returned from swimming. I had gotten hard again from the cool air of the evening, and well she wanted to see the sperm come flying out so I jacked off on the towel but that's all."
"I just wanted to know, Peter, because if she got a hold of ya again, I was going to have to go hunting for one 15 year old girl and break her damn neck for taking my boyfriend against his wishes." David said laughing.
"Let me tell you that jerking off after being in the ocean water with all of its sand and salt all over your ... well, it's not a good idea. I couldn't do it for several days because it was so red and inflamed. I went to one of those free health clinics in town for some cream or something. Man talk about embarrassing."
Did you guys see each other again? Not that I'm jealous or anything, I'm just curious is all, I mean you guys were friends and all." David asked.
"Oh yeah, we went to the beach often but we didn't do any more sex stuff or anything. She was curious. I was curious. And well, we kind of had sex, our curiosities were satisfied. Towards the end of our, right before mom moved us again, time there I told her I was gay and that while we were good friends, I couldn't have sex with her again because it didn't feel right. She apologized for what she did. I told her no apology was necessary because I was a part of it too, but I accepted it anyway because she meant it. I never saw her again after that. It was like she just disappeared."
"A couple of weeks after she disappeared, we moved, and well you already know the rest of the story." I said looking at David, then Jeremy, then finally Dad. Nobody has disgust on their faces or in their body demeanor.
"Thank you for sharing your story with us, Peter. There are some details that were left out. You probably do not know those details, do you?" Ella asked looking directly into my eyes.
"Uhm, yeah, I know the cops were looking for me but I hung low. I have no idea what they were about... all mom said was that I had killed Bo.
"Let's clear that up right now. First of all, he survived his injuries. But there is more. You see he screwed up by calling the police to report that you assaulted him. They put out a pick up order on you, but here's where it gets interesting... the police investigated, and when they were investigating the so called crime scene, they found a number of cameras in the bathroom as well many other places in and around the house. Those pictures showed you in various states of dress and undress, doing what normal boys do in the privacy of their bedrooms, and it also showed the scenes you described where he was performing oral sex on you, including the accident you had while on his desk. It also showed you being slammed off of the desk, but unfortunately the pictures did not show the actual beating once you were down. When you two were in the shower, Bo or Bart or The Boss, whatever name he goes by from time to time had live cameras running during the entire incident. Obviously the charges against you were dismissed. In fact none were even filed. Because of the substantial evidence against him, he struck a plea with the DA's office and will be spending many years in prison."
"Okay, well I'm glad he wasn't killed. I was just defending myself. He didn't have permission to do that to me, nor would I have given him permission."
"You aren't on trial..." Ella said warmly, then she looked at dad, and said, "I understand he's not having very much fun with being incarcerated. She then turned, looked me then said, "What I'm saying is that some of the inmates have taken a liking to him... let's just say that adult men who mess with kids are not very high on the totem pole of popularity. I'm going to leave it at that."
Ella then got up and began picking up the empty boxes, glasses and napkins from the pizza chow fest. Us guys got up and took those boxes away from her then took them to the outside trash for pickup later in the week.
David and I stole a moment or two alone in the garage where we kissed tenderly. "Things" were rapidly escalating so we broke off and went back in the house. Everybody had assembled back in the TV room and were waiting for us. Jeremy gave me the evil eye, all in jest of course then he snickered and started to say something but thought differently and let it go.
After David sat down, I walked over to dad. He pulled me into a hug and said, "I'm sorry that had to have happened to you. I just want you to know that you'll not ever have to worry about that stuff around here, okay?"
"I know, dad. I feel safe here. I love you. Thank you." I replied happily then turned serious. I reached up and he reached down so that I could speak in his ear, "Dad, there's more that you guys need to know. Can you get the laptop so that I can show you what I'm talking about?"
"I'll be right back, gang. Why don't we take a break for, say 30 minutes?"
That met with everybody's approval. Dad took off for his office. Jeremy hit the restroom off the TV room. Ella went to the dining room, shut the French doors, leaving David and I alone. I drew him into a deep, deep hug then kissed him sincerely. I said, "Come on." We took off upstairs to our bedroom where I closed and locked the door while David lied down on the bed and fumbled with his zipper. Success... his dick jumped out of his underwear, slapping him on his tummy. Needing no further encouragement, and taking into account the massive tent my pants were also showing, I dropped off my pants and shoes then lied on top of David where we entertained a vigorous 69 session, blowing our loads quickly, decisively and completely. As our cocks were regaining their composure, David flipped around so that we were mouth to mouth then we gave each other some resuscitation measures, not too hard but firm enough so that we knew love flowed between us.
After we got ourselves rearranged and presentable to the outside world, I pulled David into a hug then whispered in his ear, "Babe, you are about to see another side of my life before we met. I'm not proud of what you're going to see... I didn't know about it until just a few days ago when I went snooping on the Internet. I never gave permission for it to happen... it just did."
"What's that? I'm going to love you no matter what. Don't worry, okay?"
I answered him with a kiss... had we had more time then... but we didn't... then we headed downstairs. Dad was in the process of hooking up the laptop in the TV room. While he was doing that, I felt my tummy rumbling very nearly uncontrollably so I ran to the restroom, just got myself sat down on the throne and exploded torpedoes, tornados and hail into and thru the sewer system. Sufficiently relieve, I flushed and washed my hands then returned to the TV room. Dad looked at me carefully then scooted the laptop so I that I was sitting in the drivers' seat.
He had already booted it up. With a feeling of trepidation, I logged him off and rebooted, signing on with a user id I'd created. When dad looked at me seriously, clearly annoyed, "Sorry dad, I created an account of my own on our home network so I could find what I was looking for ... so that you would not find out, and because I am ashamed of what I went looking for, but I am not ashamed at what I found."
"Son, we'll have to talk about this. You'd better have a really good reason for doing this. It compromised our security here." Dad said firmly.
"Dad, I didn't breach our home security in any way. I promise you."
"Still, we will talk about this, but it'll be later." Dad said in a way that left no room for compromise.
"Sorry. Please don't be mad. Please trust me."
"I'm not mad... we'll talk about this later." Dad said more firmly. David, sitting on the other side of dad, shook his head then mouthed "don't". I looked at dad, nodded then whispered, "Dad, you've got to see this. Please don't hate me."
I then turned my attentions to the laptop, signed in using my id and password, typed in a URL. The site was still up. I entered authentication to go on into the site. When the screen came up, I noted that not only was the site still there but it had grown exponentially.
Not only had it grown exponentially, the pictures from the 'model' agency were not only there, but the number of them had actually grown considerably over the past few days. In addition, many, many pictures from the time period living with Bo were featured.
"Dad, this site has grown a lot since I last logged in. None of the pictures with Bo were in there before."
Another screen required that I authenticate again. When the screen popped up, I screamed, "OH MY GOD! Dad, those pictures show me being screwed by these guys I don't know. I've never been tied up. I DIDN'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I was totally disgusted by the next page that showed me being fucked by old fat women with a dildo strapped on their lower parts.
"Dad, please don't hate me!! David, I swear I never did that stuff!!!!!"
The pop-ups kept popping up. Dad took the laptop from me and began doing some things, sending his fingers across the keyboard like he was playing the piano or something.
Then David screamed "Dad!!!!!!! That's Aaron and Angel at Aaron's house. That's his bedroom... I know it is, I've been there! I've spent the night there, I know it is!"
"David, are you absolutely positive?" Ella asked with grave concern in her voice and with her body language.
"Oh yeah, definitely for sure, no doubt." David replied absolutely, then picked up his cell phone and began to punch in some numbers. Dad took the phone away then clicked the END button, "David, not now. Wait. You boys are excused."
"Ella, I hope you are making notes of this. I'm going to transmit this information to your and Officer Ramirez' systems so that a permanent record exists for legal purposes. The boys don't need to be here while you and I talk." Dad said professionally.
Ella spoke up, "There is one item that needs to be taken care of. Peter, you do not know about this. It needs to be taken care of before the adoption hearing."
Still reeling from the shock and embarrassment, I said, "You guys know everything now. I'm not hiding anything."
"No, Peter, it's not like that. I know you are telling everything you know. Let me explain, okay, relax..."
When I regained some semblance of control over my emotions, I nodded to Ella encouraging her to continue.
"We received a claim for welfare and medical benefits a few days ago. For privacy reasons, I can't give the name of the person claiming those benefits but the claim is for maternity and child care benefits. We've also received notification that the child will be put up for adoption immediately after delivery." Ella said.
"What are you telling me?" I stammered not knowing what she was talking about then shockingly, I said, "Dawn? She's the only girl I have ever been with that way. Are you sure? Am I the daddy?"
"She named you as its father."
"But we only did it once. We were standing up. I saw my juice run out, like it was never really inside her. Oh my God... I can't believe this is happening."
"Relax, son. We'll get all this straightened out." Looking at Ella, dad continued, "I'm sure that DNA and paternity testing will be performed. What kind of arrangements have been or are being made regarding the baby's welfare?"
"Those tests won't be able to be performed until the baby is born. Until then we have no alternative but to assume what she's telling us is the truth. Peter admitted to having relations with her. So we have to go with that."
"You guys are talking as if I were not here. This is the story of my life. May I be excused?" I just got up and left the room without waiting for a reply.
I headed upstairs to my room. I went to the dresser so that I could pack up my shit and disappear. Realizing I had none of my 'old' stuff, I lied down on our bed then began crying softly as my heart was breaking in half. I was having a baby? I mean, I had fathered a child... oh God, how can this get any more complicated?
A few minutes later, David entered our room, came over and sat down on our bed. He began rubbing my back in little circles. He pulled several Kleenex out of its dispenser and wiped away the tears from my eyes, then gave me another one to blow my nose with, then said "I'm with you all the way, babe. I kinda felt the same way you do, that they were talking around us, not including us."
"That's just what adults do, David. We don't have any say so."
"I think Dad is coming up here soon to talk with you. This just took him by surprise, is all. He's thinking this through. He always does that with anything big. Once he gets it straight in his head, he includes us, or always has, in the discussions where decisions need to be made." David said, pulling me in firmly to his chest.
"We're kids, David. We can't up and raise a child. It's going to be at least two years before we can get jobs. And besides that, we are a pain in the ass to bring up to be anything worthwhile." I said with a half-assed giggle.
"You got that right." Dad said as he came into our room. No big deal, the door was open. Another good thing about dad is he always respects our privacy behind closed doors.
"Can I sit down with you guys?" Dad asked.
I pointed to the bed and gestured for him to sit down, then said "This is your house."
"This is our home, Peter. This is your home too. The house is where we live, it is not who we are." Dad explained carefully.
"Having a baby is a big deal, Dad." David said.
"No shit. Peter was not born to your mother and me, but you were, and we adopted Jeremy. Together, you guys were a pain in the ass." Dad laughed with a twinkle in his eyes. I knew he wasn't serious with what he had just said last, it struck me funny so I laughed too.
"Peter. The best thing to do right now is to continue living life as it is presented to us today. We'll look at the options as they present. Ella mentioned that potentially amniotic fluid can be used to determine the baby's paternity source. She's going to check on funding. If funding is not available for the specialized test, then I am prepared to pay for it, and will do so. It is a done deal." Dad said.
"Okay."
"Son, about the pictures ... I have my staff working on tracing those sites. Should be pretty easy as Bo's equipment is what my company developed. It does appear that they were posted directly to the web, but I'll be talking to Officer Ramirez to see if the computer can be seized from the evidence room for this investigation. This I can do tomorrow. In any event, he has the information at his desk and should get to it first thing in the morning." Dad said.
"But dad, what about our adoption hearing scheduled for tomorrow morning?"
"Ella assured me that the adoption will continue as planned. Speaking of, we need to get to bed because we've got an early wake-up in the morning. We'll be catching a commuter flight to Honolulu and need to be up by 6:00am so that we can be there on time." Dad said as he kissed us good night. After hugs all around were given and received, he left.
Shortly after dad left, while we were taking the covers on our bed down, Jeremy came in to hug us good night as well.
After talking about nothing in particular for a little while, sleep overcame us though I slept fitfully and did not get very much quality sleep.
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