Just Hit 'Send' - The Interim Years
by Grasshopper
Ch. 3
"I realize you love Jordan but Dan, he's so far away and well, I'm right here," Terry said softly.
Danny loved Jordan, he needed Jordan so much, but........Jordan wasn't here.
Jordan woke up the next morning feeling like a Mack truck had plowed into his brain. These headaches were getting worse and even the sound of Danny's voice last night hadn't been enough to make the pounding stop. Falling out of the bed, he headed for a hot shower, hoping Marks had started the coffee. Leaning back against the cool tile, he just let the pulsing spray beat onto his body willing the pain to stop.
Towel wrapped loosely around his slender waist, he came out of the bathroom to find a wriggling baby in the middle of his bed and a steaming mug of coffee sitting on the dresser.
"Hiya, little guy," he grinned as he slid next to Josh, watching the big green eyes flash with recognition. He tickled under the chubby little chin and sighed when Josh grabbed his fingers sucking them into his rosy little mouth.
"Our son's quite a flirt," Markie laughed. "He's already got the finger move down. You teach him that?" She walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.
Jordan chuckled, "Nah........he just comes by it naturally, don't ya, loverboy?" tickling Josh a bit more, then giving him a wet raspberry kiss on his round tummy. When he sat up, Markie noticed the slight grimace as he rubbed his hand over his eyes.
"Another headache, Jordy?" She tugged him over gently toward her lap, his head sinking gratefully down. She ran her fingers through his damp blonde hair, knowing that the headaches were getting worse. Her fingers rub gentle circles on his temples, over his forehead and across his eyebrows. "The Excedrin's not helping?"
"Yeah, it dulls it for a while but then it just comes back full force," he sighed, purring softly as Markie eased the tension for a minute.
"Jordan. I want you to go to the doctor and get medicine to help."
"We don't have money for extras right now, Marks."
"Jordan!"
He looked up at her and saw she meant it. "Maybe one of those walk-in clinics," he mumbled.
"No. I want you to go to the eye doctor. Every time you get one of these, you rub your eyes and squint a lot. I think you need glasses." Plus, she thought to herself, you're gonna explode from stress over Danny pretty soon. "Our school insurance covers eyes so you can't give me an excuse."
"I'll check into it," Jordan groaned, hating doctors.
"I already did. You have an appointment tomorrow at 3:30. Dr. Gregg's office is in that medical center near your school. You WILL go and you WILL be a good little boy."
Jordan shook his head, smiling, "Yes, Mom," and got a poke in the ribs.
David addressed the envelope and licked the stamp. Now that Jordan was settled with Markie and the baby, maybe he would begin to see how much better his life will be living the way God intended. Surely they needed things for their apartment. David never questioned why he was able to tolerate his son living with a woman and her illegitimate son, why this was acceptable but that Trainor boy was not. The man was a myriad of fucked up values, fucked up morality and the worst part was, he never questioned it, he knew he was right. He slipped the check into the envelope and sealed it shut.
Jordan's cell went off as he was eating his peanut butter and banana sandwich, trying to get papers graded during lunch break.
"Jordy! IjustgotacallfromMissythey'regonnahaveababyi'msoexcited for themand..............
"Whoa. What?"
"Missy called. She's gonna have a baby."
"Hey, that is so way cool." Jordan and Markie both knew how much Missy and Jerry wanted kids. They had practically fought with Markie to babysit Josh all the time.
K........I just wanted to let you know, Don't forget your appointment this afternoon. 3:30. Dr. Gregg."
"How can I forget with you badgering me every 10 seconds?" Jordan griped, always so please that Markie cared.
"You'll look sexy with glasses, MR. Lawrence," she teased.
"God, I'm old," he groaned.
Easy could almost feel the change in the atmosphere in the house. He had gotten back from his date and checked in Danny's room like he always did. Danny had been fast asleep with picture of Jordan tightly clasped in hands. Easy had bent over to take the picture and place it back on the bedside table when he noticed the tear stains on the glass. When he pushed the black curls back from Danny's forehead, he felt the dampness as if Danny had been sweating or crying or both. He had immediately thought that Danny and Jordan had had a fight. He had quietly set the picture down, tucked Danny's covers around him and shut the door. He'd find out in the morning what had happened.
But the next morning, they were rushed and all Danny would say was that he had been feeling lonely. That he was okay and for Easy not to worry so much. Easy watched Danny not look at Terry. He watched Terry try to catch Danny's eye but Danny wouldn't look at him. He felt like something was up but he wasn't sure until Danny asked Easy to drive him to school. Terry had always driven him in to early morning therapy.
"Dan?"
"Yeah?" he mumbled, the jeep motor drowning out his reply.
"What's goin on, lil dude?"
"I can't tell you."
*Oh shit!* Easy groaned.
"Yeah, you can. I'm your friend, remember?"
"You're Jordy's friend first and best," Danny sighed, as he tried to curl himself up into a little ball.
Easy pulled the jeep over to the side of the road, jerked on the emergency brake and turned to Dan, "I'm your friend, Dan. That's why I'm here."
"Yeah.........you're here to babysit me and still I do bad things.....still I make people do bad things......just like, just like......." He lashed out. "I don't mean to. I didn't mean to make Larry want me like that. I don't know what I did and now............now..........all I want is Jordan," he wailed, his voice shrill.
Easy frowned. Larry? Who the fuck is Larry? "Dan? Honey? You HAVE Jordan. Tell me what's wrong."
"I can't."
"You can't cause you did something? *oh please God no* or you can't cause you think you're bad?"
Danny just curled tighter and chewed on his fist like a child.
Easy took Danny into the exercise rooms and got him calmed down. He left when he had watched Danny begin to relax with Stephanie, his workout partner. "I'll be back to get ya at 10:00," he called out and was rewarded with a weak smile.
Damn........somebody's gonna answer me and if not Dan......................he growled as the jeep wheeled out of the parking lot.
Striding into the house, he found Terry working at his computer. Turning a chair backwards, Easy settled down like a panther, his eyes locking onto Terry and just waited.
"Okay, what?" Terry finally sighed, turning to meet Easy's angry eyes.
"You know what, man. You tell me."
"It's not your goddamn business," Terry frowned.
"Oh but that's where you're very wrong," Easy replied, his voice low. "Anything that hurts that lil dude hurts the one person in the world that trusted me and that's just NOT gonna happen. Now, again.........you tell me!!"
Terry lowered his eyes first and his shoulders slumped. "Nothing happened, okay? Nothing. I tried but he wouldn't. He acted like he was afraid of me.
I thought...............,"
"You thought what? That because you were helping him, because you have this great house, because what.........you're both gay?.....you thought what? You should know him by now. He cares about you. Damn, man!! Shit, he loves ME but he ain't gonna fuck me. Don't you know anything about Danny? Or was all you saw a pretty face and a cute little butt? Damn!!" He jumped up sending the chair spinning. "We'll be outta here as soon as I can grab our stuff."
"Nooooo!" Terry yelled. "Please, No!"
"What? You wanna try and get at him again?"
"Easy, wait." Terry's voice was lonely and sad. Easy waited.
"I don't want him to leave."
"You can't have him."
"I know that now."
"Why didn't you know it before? You know about Jordan. You know what they've gone through. What was he to you? A quick fuck?"
"No," Terry answered, his face shocked. "No, never that. I wanted........."
"Yeah, Terry. YOU wanted...........But, did you stop to ask what Danny wanted?"
"Please, Easy. Can we just talk about it? I never meant to hurt him. I swear. He was just so lonely and I thought......"
Easy stared at the man standing in front of him. Terry was a good looking confident guy, but with tears in his defeated eyes, he looked like a little kid. "Terry, there's more to Dan than you or I know. Jordan brought him back from somewhere bad. Jordan keeps him grounded so he doesn't just spin out of control. No one can interfere with that."
"I know he was hit by a car and that's what caused the injuries to his legs," Terry said softly.
"There's more to it than that and that's where Jordan comes in. See, Terry, they've got some kind of bond between them that you can't break and if you're a friend, you shouldn't even want to try."
"Please, Easy. Bring him back here. We can sit down and talk. I don't want you to leave. Please?"
"I'll talk to Dan. See what he wants."
"Well, Jordan, like it or not, you need glasses to see those papers you grade and the computer screen," Dr. Gregg smiled as Jordan wrinkled up his nose. "You've been putting quite a bit of strain on those green eyes."
"But I don't have to wear them all the time?" he hoped.
"No," the doctor laughed. "You can still be cool."
Jordan grinned. "Can't be a cool surfer dude with glasses on."
"Oh, you surf?" the doctor smiled. "Where do you put your board in?"
"Wrightsville. You too?"
"Yep.....every chance I get."
They chatted about the waves as the doctor handed him over to the girl who fitted the frames.
"You take care of those eyes now, Jordan and maybe I'll see you on the beach." Jordan watched the man walk away, noticing the way his gray slacks hugged a very firm butt. Hmmm, Dr. Gregg worked out !!
"Hellooooo," a voice interfered with his stare. He turned to the girl standing right behind him, seeing her for the first time.
"I need to get frames," he stammered, caught looking where he shouldn't have been.
"Okey doke, I'm Candy," she laughed. "Let's see what we can do."
Easy pushed Danny's chair into the rose garden. It was Danny's favorite place in all of Portland. The day was cold, the sky threatening but Easy knew if anyplace could calm Danny, it would be here.
"No roses," Danny sighed.
"But Dan, in the spring.......wait till we see it in the spring." He pushed the chair slowly, not talking, knowing Danny well enough that when he was ready, it would all spill out.
"Easy?"
"Yeah lil punkin?"
"You had bad stuff, right?"
"Major bad stuff, Dan."
"How do you get past it?"
Easy sighed. Truth was, his bad stuff, he'd just shoved it in a corner way in the back of his mind behind that door where no one ever looked and hoped it would never come out. Griff had been the only one who ever heard it all and Griff had understood. But Danny was different.
"You wanna talk about it, Dan?"
"I can't."
"Even to Jordan?
"Especially not to Jordan."
"Would you like to tell it all, whatever it is? Tell it and not be judged, just helped?"
"Oh yes, but there's no one."
"Is this why you aren't with Jordan?"
"Yes," Danny murmured softly.
"We'll find some way, some one to help."
They walked a little farther. "Dan, you're freezing. We need to decide what we're gonna do."
"What...what do you mean?"
"I talked to Terry, Dan."
"Oh."
"He didn't tell me what happened, just how bad he feels and how he knows he hurt you." Easy saw Danny accept what he was saying.
"He didn't hurt me, Ez. It was my fault." Danny kept his eyes down. Easy stopped the chair and pushed on the brake. Squatting down, he lifted Danny's chin.
"Dan. None of this is your fault. Not Terry. Not your hurt legs. Not leaving Jordan and running halfway across the world." He watched his words sink in. "People just tend to love you, is all."
"I want to keep on with my therapy," Danny whispered.
"And you will. No problem there."
"Is Terry mad?"
Easy sighed. *Who the fuck cared?* "No sweetie. He's just worried about you."
"Let's go home, Easy. I'm frozen," Danny said, his breath a cloud of ice.
"Did you get glasses?"
"Yeah. I'll pick em up in 3 days."
"And that's the reason for the headaches?" Markie asked.
"Well, Dr. Gregg talked to me some about stress and he showed me how knotted up my shoulder muscles were."
"Oh he did, did he?" Markie raised her eyebrows.
"God, Marks. He was a DOCTOR."
"Was he cute?"
Jordan tried but couldn't keep the grin from spreading. "Yeah," he blushed.
Easy drove the jeep up to the front door and Terry walked out to help Danny into the house.
"You're both frozen." He wheeled Danny over to the fireplace and helped him off with his jacket.
"We took a walk in the rose garden," Danny smiled, knowing how stupid that sounded in 23 degree weather.
Easy lifted Danny out and plopped him into the big recliner by the fire. "You warm up."
"Dan?" Terry said quietly.
"Yes?"
"I want you to stay. You and Easy. Dan?"
"Mmmm?"
"I'm sorry."
Easy watched them both struggling for words. "Dan? I talked to Terry. He really wasn't aware of what you and Jordan have; how far it reaches back." He couldn't believe he was defending Terry but he knew he needed to make Danny see that it wasn't his fault.
"I tried to tell him," Danny sighed. "He didn't listen. He just got mad." Everyone gets mad, he muttered under his breath.
"I'll listen now," Terry said softly.
"There's so much you don't know. No one does.....except Jordy. He forgives me. He says things aren't my fault."
"What about you and Jordan?"
"Jordan and me? He's.........," Danny searched for the words. " He's my anchor when I want to let go. He's my heart when I hurt. He's like this other part of me that shows me what love is. He tries to always tell me I'm not bad. What about Jordan? He's everything to me."
"Terry?" Easy said quietly. "Danny needs someone to talk to. Someone to help him. Do you know anyone who can help?"
Terry wiped away the tears that had run down his face. "You aren't bad, Danny. Do you need to talk to someone who can help you?"
Danny sighed. "Yes, please."
"I know someone who can help you, Dan. Will you let me help you too?"
"Yes, Terry. But Terry..............."
"Yeah?"
"Don't think for a minute that because I'm out here and Jordan is far away that I love him any less. K?"
Easy smiled. His 2 sk8r boys were enough to give anyone a migraine.
Jordy."
"Hey baby."
"I have to tell you something."
"You're coming home tomorrow?"
"No."
"Shit........ruined my day."
"Jordy. Be serious. This is bad."
Jordan straightened up on the bed. "K. Tell me."
"I kinda........well, Terry..........I.........."
"Stop that, Dan. Tell me!!"
"Terry wanted to ummm have sex with me."
Jordan sucked in a harsh breath. "Did you?"
"NO!! Jordy, NO!!"
Jordan let out the huge gulp of air he'd been holding. "Lord Jesus, Dan. I about had a stroke."
"But..............but Jordy........"
"There's more of this wonderful story?" Jordan muttered.
"He touched me and I........I got hard, Jordy."
"Where was this lovely scene taking place, Daniel?" Jordan's neck began to ache and he wanted to kill Terry whatshisname.
Long silence...............
"Daniel Alan Trainor.............where were you?"
"in my bed"
"WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING IN YOUR BED???"
"He wasn't IN my bed. He was ON my bed."
"Oh...........fine line there, Dan."
"Well, if you're gonna be dumb about it, JORDAN!!"
"ME?? I didn't call you and say all silly, "I have something to tell you." And now you're raggin' on me??"
"I didn't do anything, Jordy. I swear."
"You got hard !!" He knew that was unreasonable if the guy's hand was on Danny's dick...........Wait!! "What was his hand doing on your dick?"
"I'm not gonna talk to you if you're gonna yell," Danny whimpered.
Deep breaths.....deep breaths !! "Okay.....take it from the top, Daniel."
"He came in to talk and I was in bed reading this God awful book about muscle tone for class. It's really boring Jordy and it cost $76 and I have to take a quiz on it tomorrow and................."
"Dan!!"
"Oh >>giggle<< I was telling you about the other thing, huh?"
"I am SO not gonna talk to you about this if you don't stop."
"Yes, Jordy."
"Dan, did you or did you not do anything with whatthefuck??"
"Well, he touched me and I............."
"We've been there already. Did anything else happen?"
"Well........no."
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, Jordy, except, unless you're mad."
"Did you want him to touch you?"
"No. I was reading this Godawful book and trying to see the difference between striated muscles and............"
Jordan smiled. "I love you, Danny."
"I love you more, Jordy."
"You know that dick that he touched?"
"Yes. It's right here."
"Dan, wanna see if I can get it hard?"
"It already is."
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