Love Conquers All
by Flaming Matt
Chapter 21
November 2015
"So she is really being released?" Mike asks in a neutral tone, as he sits on the chair and stares at his friend with a friendly expression.
"It's not as simple as that, but she will be going home or well, somewhere I guess, I'm not sure if Gordon will allow her to live with him and Alex again." Sarah responds in an uncertain tone and while there were benefits to Maggie being released on bail, she just couldn't forget the woman's involvement in what her former husband had done to their son, who even now was living with the scars, both mentally and physically from that and will do for the rest of his life.
"Did they tell you when she was being released?" Mike then asks in a slightly hesitant tone, as he wonders whether he should drop the subject or not, because it was clear that neither of them were that enthusiastic about it, but at the same time, it was important and it was better to talk to it while they were alone, rather than when the boys were here as well.
"Not exactly, they will want to make sure she has a place to stay and they still have a few of the conditions of the bail to sort out, but it should be within the week." Sarah responds in the same tone as before, although she does give her friend a genuine smile, just to let him know that she was okay with the conversation, even if it was less than ideal, it was necessary and something that they needed to discuss.
"I guess what ever information she gave them, was useful and something that they could use, because I can't see it just being about our statements, especially since Matt didn't give one." Mike then says in a more relaxed tone, as he thinks about how the other woman managed to get a deal for bail, especially since Matt said that he didn't want to give another statement, which actually surprised him a little bit.
"You're still surprised that he refused?" Sarah then decides to ask in a curious tone, after taking the opportunity to not talk about Maggie Gilmar for a few minutes and she was genuinely curious to know how her friend felt about her son not wanting to give a statement.
"Well yes and no really." Mike responds in a thoughtful tone. "Alex is Matt's friend now and while I don't know how Alex feels about his mum, I guess I was a little surprised that Matt wouldn't want to help in getting her released, especially since we encouraged him and explained the reasons why we were asking him." He then explains, after seeing his friends expression and could tell that she was a little surprised and confused by his initial response.
"I was surprised as well, but I asked him about it when we were alone and he said that he talked with Alex and he said that he understood that he couldn't lie, even if it helped get his mum released early or on bail and to be honest Mike, I'm very proud of him for that, because whether we want or need Maggie's help, she hurt Matt, she hurt him mentally and physically and if he's not ready to forgive her or if he even wants to forgive her at all, then it's his decision and I respect that." Sarah then says in a sincere tone, as she really thinks about her son and the decision that he had made and while she was proud of him, she couldn't help but be a little ashamed of herself for helping the woman, even if she had good reasons for doing so, she still found herself feeling guilty about it.
"And Alex didn't mind?" Mike then asks in a surprised tone, as he thinks about the fact Matt had talked with his friend and the fact his youngest son and Matt were both with Alex right now, already gave him his answer, he still felt the need to ask and to also see what his friend thought about it as well.
"Alex is going through a lot Mike, but he's an intelligent boy and he knows what his mum is and what she did and Matt told me that Alex just told him to be honest and whatever he decided, wouldn't affect their friendship and as the boys are together right now, I think that speaks for itself." Sarah responds with a warm and friendly smile.
"Were we that mature and understanding when we were their age Sarah, because I can't seem to remember acting that way." Mike then decides to ask with a cheeky smile and while he knew that they needed to get back to discussing Maggie, he thought it would be nice to spend a few moments with a smile on their faces.
"I think that I would like to think I was Mike, but in reality, the boys are in a league of their own, because I can't even imagine coping with all of this at that age, I just don't think I would have had the strength, although I think Amy would have been like the boys, she was always the resilient and tough one." Sarah responds in a slightly nostalgic tone, as she thinks about her sister and not for the first time in the past few months, wishes she was here with her.
"You should have told her to come here Sarah, I still don't know why you lied to her." Mike then says in a slightly reluctant tone, as he finds himself torn between confronting her about her sister or letting it drop and going back to talking about Maggie.
"I didn't lie Mike." Sarah quickly responds with a slight edge to her tone, before sighing and looking at her friend for a few moments. "Fine, but we're okay here Mike... well not okay, but she is doing here own thing and helping those people and I don't want her here and in danger, that's all Mike." She then states in a firm tone and even though she knew it was a weak and pathetic excuse, it wasn't a complete lie and she genuinely didn't want her sister to be in danger and she was convinced that she would be if she came here.
"She would want to be here Sarah and god knows how her being here would comfort and make Matt happy and I'm sure Tobias misses her as well." Mike then says in a soft and caring tone, as he does his best to avoid making his friend seem like he was attacking her, because that was the last thing he wanted to do and he knew how important it was that they supported each other and remained on the same side.
"I know how much the boys would enjoy her being here Mike, but there is so much going on and I know my sister, she will insist on helping and as discreet as she was in helping us find Tobias, she wouldn't be as discreet in finding out who has been doing these things Mike and for now, until we know more, I don't want Amy involved and I'm not going to change my mind." Sarah quickly responds in a firm and serious tone and while she felt a little guilty for talking to her friend like this, she wanted him to be clear as to where she stood on the subject and was hoping that he would drop it now.
"Sorry." Mike then apologises as he gives his friend an understanding smile and despite wanting to push it a little more, he knew that she had made her mind up and he respected that.
"We should talk about Maggie though, I want to get it over with and avoid risking the boys overhearing us, so it's best to just get it out of the way with Mike." Sarah then states in a slightly tense tone, before looking at her friend for a few minutes. "And you have nothing to apologise for Mike, I know how much sense it would make for Amy to be here and it would help so much, but for now, I just don't want to put her in harms way." She then adds in a sincere tone, after deciding to reassure her friend that he hadn't offended her or upset her.
"I know and it's okay." Mike responds with a friendly smile, before deciding to start the conversation about Maggie, after seeing the reluctance on his friends face to start it.
"What?" Mitch can't help but ask in a stunned tone, as he tries to process what the boy had just told him and he couldn't help but be surprised by it.
"He left the shop to me, but until I'm old enough, you have to look after it." Wesley responds in a distracted tone, as he couldn't help but think about his boyfriend and the way he had just walked away from him at the church, although talking about his brother and the shop was at least helping him keep himself from crying again, well for now anyway.
"He left you a sex shop and I have to look after it until you're sixteen?" Mitch then states in a bemused tone, as he repeats the boys words and while he knew he shouldn't be finding it amusing, this was just like his friend and when he thought about it, he actually wasn't that surprised, he was just that kind of a person.
"Are police officers allowed to own sex shops?" Wesley then decides to ask with a slightly forced tone, after hearing the amusement in the older boys voice and while he hadn't felt like smiling or anything like that, he couldn't help but go along with it, because even though his brother was dead, he was still winding Mitch up and he thought that was kind of cool and definitely something his brother would do.
"Hey don't laugh at me, I have a job and I won't own the shop, I will just be the manager or something like that, so if I were you, I would be the worried one." Mitch quickly retorts with a genuine smile, after seeing the boy at least try to have a little fun, even if he could tell that he was having to try really hard to do so.
"Why would I have to be worried?" Wesley then quickly asks in a curious tone, as he looks at the older boy suspiciously and was sure he was trying to set him up for some lame joke, which he was actually surprised to find himself looking forward to and that helped him actually smile genuinely now.
"Because when you're old enough to apply to join the police, having a sex shop on your application form is going to be very interesting Wesley, very interesting." Mitch explains with a big grin, which actually widens even more, when he not only sees the expression on his face, but also hears him laughing and while he hadn't expected to hear him do that for a long time, he was definitely over the moon to have made it happen and the fact that it was a genuine laugh, just made it even more enjoyable to listen to.
"Oh man, Jim is such a prick, even when he's dead..." Wesley then begins to say in an amused tone, before suddenly looking down and sighing, as he thinks about his brother being dead and despite actually genuinely laughing a few moments ago, he could feel a few tears rolling down his cheeks now and then an arm going around his shoulder and being pulled into the older boys chest.
"I know Wesley, I know." Mitch then says in a comforting tone, as he gently strokes the boys side with one hand, while taking one of his hands with his other. "I remember when my mum died Wesley and there were so many times when I would think of things she did or did with us and they would be good things and good memories, but then, as quickly as those thoughts were fun and amusing, I would remember that she was dead and it was so hard to hide that from Ben, he was so young and I know he was sad and he missed her, but at the time, I don't think he really understood what was happening, so I tried my best to be strong for him, but you Wesley, you don't need to pretend, you have me and you can talk to me and be honest with me, you don't need to pretend you're okay around me, because I understand what it's like, I've been through it." He then states from the heart in an emotional tone, before using the hand that was holding Wesley's to wipe his own eyes.
"I know, but it's still hard, it's like I forget that he's dead and then I say something or someone else does and it hits me Mitch, he's gone and he's never coming back and it's not fair, I was just starting to get to know him again and he's gone..." Wesley then says in an emotional tone, before trailing off as he starts to sniffle, although the feeling of being in the older boys arms was nice and it was helping him deal with all these big feelings.
"Does it help to know who killed him?" Mitch then asks in a curious tone, before tensing up as he realises what he had just said. "Shit, shit Wesley, I didn't..." He then starts to apologise, before feeling the boy wriggle out of his arms and staring at him for a few moments and just knew that he had upset him and was mentally kicking himself for being so insensitive.
"It doesn't make it easier or okay Mitch." Wesley then says in a quiet tone, as he continues to stare at the older boy and while he wanted to be angry at the question, he had quickly remembered that he didn't know who killed his mum and he knew how Ben felt about that as well. "But it does kind of help a little, I mean I was so angry and not knowing who killed him and why, it... it was so hard Mitch and it's good to not feel that any more, but it still doesn't make it better." He then adds in a slightly strained tone, as he tries his best to explain himself as clearly as possible, while also trying not to breakdown as well.
"Sorry for asking though Wesley, it was such a stupid question." Mitch then says in an apologetic tone and although he was relieved that he hadn't upset the boy and that he actually got a very good response from him, he still knew that it was an insensitive question and he felt like an idiot for asking it.
"Probably, but I get why you asked Mitch, so it's okay." Wesley then states in response, while giving the older boy a long stare as he waits for him to say something.
"You..." Mitch then begins to ask, before trailing off for a few moments. "I don't think we will ever know who killed her, I mean I guess it doesn't really matter, it was so long ago..." He then says in a sad tone, after thinking about the boys words and working out that he knew exactly why he had asked his question, but trails off again as he thinks about his own words.
"Of course it matters Mitch and er... well I know you said that Ben was too young to really know what was going on, but er... he knew Mitch and he may have been young, but he knew and maybe... maybe you should talk to him about it, just the two of you, I think er... well it might help you both." Wesley then decides to suggest in a slightly meek tone, as he doesn't quite know how to handle this kind of conversation and with everything that he was going through himself, he was finding it even harder.
"You're a good boy Wesley and thank you." Mitch then quickly says in response, before pulling the boy back into his arms and cuddling him tightly. "Carter's a lucky boy." He then adds with a warm smile, before feeling the boy quickly pushing out of his arms, but he had expected this and while he knew it was a little mean, he wanted to get back to the reason he had come round in the first place.
"He hates me, he fucking hates me Mitch, what the..." Wesley begins to respond in a slightly venomous tone, as he glares at the older boy, before finding himself being cut off by him.
"Oh fuck off Wesley." Mitch quickly states in a serious but slightly playful tone, as he stares at the boys confused expression. "You hurt him Wesley and you know you did and even though I don't know the history behind what you called him, it's obvious that there wasn't much else you could say to get that sort of reaction out of him, but he does love you and yeah, it will take time and you might even have to give him space for a while, but he will come round and he will forgive you, you just have to suck it up for a while." He then states with a reassuring smile, as he watches the boys expression and he could tell that he was thinking over his words and while he really wasn't sure why the smaller boy had seemed so hurt by being called a sissy boy, which was bad in itself, he knew there must have been more to it than that, but even so, he was one hundred percent sure the boys would be okay within a few weeks.
"Maybe." Wesley then says in a quiet and unconvinced tone, after a few minutes of silence and while he wanted to believe the older boy and he really did, he saw his boyfriends eyes and he saw the genuine hurt in them and he couldn't help but think the worst, not that he could blame his boyfriend, he had already let so much pass, there had to be a breaking point and those words were it.
"He loves you and yeah, it's going to be hard Wesley, but if you truly loved Carter and we both know that you do, then you will do whatever it takes and wait as long as it takes for him to forgive you, because he will and you can bet your life on your friends helping as well, he's with Tobias right now and I think Jordan is with them as well right?" Mitch then says in a soft and reassuring tone, after reaching over and squeezing the boys shoulder and smiles when he sees that his words had at least helped him calm down.
"Yeah, but Mitch..." Wesley then starts to say, before pausing as he looks at the older boy nervously, as he struggles to decide whether to tell him or not.
"You can tell me anything Wesley and I will listen, but I won't promise to not be disappointed or even a little angry at whatever you want to say, but I do promise to support you and not leave you alone, you can trust me Wesley, you know you can." Mitch then says in a sincere tone, after deciding to say something after a few moments of silence and while he wasn't completely sure what the boy was going to say, he got the feeling that it wasn't good and he knew that he needed to stay level headed.
"I've been hurting Carter." Wesley then says in a meek tone, as he looks down at his feet in shame, after failing to keep eye contact with the older boy and was half expecting to either hear him walking out of his bedroom or shouting at him or even worse.
"Wesley, this is important, when you say hurting, what do you mean and be honest, because it's important and it will help me know how to help you." Mitch then decides to ask in a slightly stunned tone, as he thinks about the boys words and while he was sure he wasn't talking literally, he had to make sure he was right and also determine how he dealt with the conversation, because if he was hurting Carter, then he couldn't just ignore that and he knew that he would have to figure out what to do about it.
"Not like beating him up and stuff, but I've pushed him a few times and before the funeral, I put my hands around his neck, twice, not hard or anything, not that it makes it okay, but he was crowding me and I just wanted space and he... he... Mitch, he... I felt so ashamed Mitch and I kept shouting at him and stuff ever since Jim died and I was so confused and angry and he was just there, there all the time and he wouldn't leave me alone Mitch... he wouldn't give me space." Wesley then says in an ashamed and meek tone, while keeping his eyes firmly locked on the floor, he knew the older boy would be ashamed of him and like before, he was sure he was going to walk out on him or shout at him.
"Oh wow." Mitch responds in an astonished tone, he may have suspected what the boy was going to say, but hearing it still shocked him and it was taking him a few moments to process it all and come up with a response.
"Do you hate me?" Wesley then asks in the same meek tone as before and while the older boy hadn't walked out or shouted at him, he was convinced that it was going to happen in a few moments and just felt so guilty and ashamed of himself.
"Well I'm disappointed and angry with you for doing that to Carter, but I don't hate you Wesley and I think I understand." Mitch responds in a measured tone, while giving the boy a sympathetic look, after seeing him looking up at him in surprise and he could she fresh tears in his eyes. "Wesley, you've been through a lot and while that doesn't give you the right to lash out and get angry with people, especially those that love you, it is understandable and you only have to look at Matt to know that you aren't alone in this kind of thing Wesley and you know that." He then decides to add in a softer tone, as he again reaches out, but this time to take both of the boys hands into his own, just to let him know that he was still on his side.
"Carter forgave me for it, well for the shouting and pushing, he kneed me in the balls when I put my hands around his neck the first time." Wesley responds with a forced smile, as he thinks about his boyfriend and how he handled himself. "He's so feisty and never let's me push him around." He then adds with a sweet smile, as he looks at the older boy and sees him smiling fondly at him and for the first time since he brought up this subject, he knew the older boy really was there for him, just like he always has been since they had first met.
"He's grown so much since you've been in his life Wesley and while this past week has probably rocked your relationship and will test it to it's limit, you're good together and you're happy together and he will come round and he will forgive you Wesley, I promise." Mitch then decides to respond with a warm smile and while he wasn't one hundred percent sure what was going through Carter's mind, he knew what it was like for his little brother when Matt was at his worst and while their relationships were different, he knew both couples loved each other as much as the other and while it may take a bit of time, he still thought that they would be just fine.
"I knew calling him a sissy boy like that would hurt him Mitch, I knew that it would and I knew it would hurt even more because it was in front of everyone... I knew and I still did it Mitch, I still hurt him and... and... how can he forgive me, if I can't forgive myself Mitch? How?" Wesley then asks in an almost desperate tone and despite being comforted by the older boys words and knowing that he was more than likely right about his boyfriend forgiving him, he wasn't sure that he could forgive himself and he could feel fresh tears rolling down his cheeks again.
"I wish I could tell you Wesley, but I don't know, I can only say what I believe and I think you know he will forgive you, but as for forgiving yourself, maybe you shouldn't Wesley, maybe it's just one of those things that you will have to live with for the rest of your life, we all have those moments in our life, I know I do and it's something you will have to deal with and figure out for yourself Wesley." Mitch responds honestly and sincerely, as he gently rubs the boys hands with his fingers and despite seeing the mixture of curiosity and confusion on the boys face, he was happy to see that he was doing a good job of keeping him calm.
"I er... I... you er... you have regrets?" Wesley then just about manages to ask in a curious and confused tone, as so many questions run through his head about what the older boy had just said and stares at him curiously.
"I have a few, but one of the biggest is Conner." Mitch starts to explain, before pausing as he sees the look on the boys face and knew that he had to tread carefully when it came to his former best friend around him. "I know it's stupid and even irrational Wesley, but I will always blame myself for what he has done." He then states as he looks around the room and sighs.
"How is it your fault?" Wesley then asks with a slight edge to his tone, he had hated Conner before, but now that he knows that he killed his brother, he wanted to kill him and he was still angry for not taking his chance when he had it, even if he knew that he would regret it, he still wanted to do it.
"The signs were all there Wesley, I mean I didn't know what he would become, nobody could've predicted that, but I knew that he wasn't the person I knew when we were growing up together, he was changing, but I just let it happen, I could have done something, I know I could have done something." Mitch answers in a frustrated tone and again sighs as he thinks about his former best friend and what he had turned into.
"I was mad at you for what you did that night, I really hated you Mitch..." Wesley then begins to say in a harsher tone than he had intended and quickly trails off for a few moments, after seeing the look on the older boys face. "But it's not your fault and I know that now and neither is what Conner did, I hate him Mitch and I wish he was dead... I wish I killed him, but it's not your fault and... it's just not." He then says in a calmer tone, but there was still an edge to it and he knew that it would be a long time before he could talk about this and not feel so much pain and anger.
"I could have done something Wesley." Mitch then says in response and while he knew he was being stupid and that he should be focusing on the actually reason he came round in the first place, he just couldn't help it and he just felt useless and pathetic.
"Like what?" Wesley quickly asks in a blunt tone, while giving the older boy an expectant look and while he had his own problems, he was also feeling guilty about what had happened at the church and he wanted to try and make up for it by at least trying to help the older boy get over whatever he was going through now, because he knew what self blame could do and he didn't deserve that.
"I don't know, I mean when we were growing up, he was always the one pushing the rules and boundaries, not that the rest of us needed much encouragement, but he always had that kind of thing in him and he was a bully Wesley, I mean not the worst you will ever see and I guess I kept him from ever going too far, but he was a bully and..." Mitch then begins to explain, as he decides to just be honest, but he can't help but look at the boy in surprise, when he interrupts him.
"That's it? Fucking hell Mitch, he bullied people? Seriously..." Wesley quickly states in an unimpressed tone and while he wanted to ease his own guilt over the church and help the older boy, he just couldn't help but react to what he was saying and just thought it was stupid.
"Yeah, he bullied people and that is a big deal Wesley and you know it, but there is more to it than that and I won't tell you most of it, but things you know about, like what he did to Matt in the park that time and I know you know about that, then what he did to you Wesley, I should have gone to the police, if I went to the police then he..." Mitch then begins to responds in a frustrated tone, before again finding himself being interrupted before he can finish talking.
"Wouldn't have turned into a murdering scum bug, who also liked little boys a bit too much?" Wesley states in a sarcastic and dismissive tone, while giving the older boy an unimpressed look to go with it.
"Maybe, maybe not Wesley, what he did to Matt was one thing, but what he did to you and I know what he had been saying to you as well Wesley and I should have gone to the police, that was the start of it for him and if there was a chance for him to not go down that path, then that was it, they have programmes and therapists that deal with that kind of thing and I should have helped him." Mitch answers in a firmer tone, as he gives the boy a hard look, just to make sure he didn't interrupt him this time.
"But I told you not to, I made you promise." Wesley then quickly states in a slightly defensive tone, as he looks at the older boy accusingly and wonders if he was somehow trying to blame him as well.
"With all due respect Wesley, there was a lot happening and while I was impressed by you at the time and rightly so, the real reason I didn't call the police was because while I didn't want anything to do with Conner or even Andy from that point on, they were still my friends, I'd known them my entire life and I didn't call the police because I just couldn't do that to either of them, I just couldn't Wesley and look what happened... I should have called the police." Mitch responds in an emotional tone, before holding his head in his hands and despite his best efforts, he could feel tears rolling down his cheek, before feeling something pulling him across and quickly realises that Wesley had put his arm around him.
"It wouldn't have changed anything Mitch..." Wesley then says in a soft tone, after almost five minutes of silence between them, but as he feels the older boy trying to pull away, he tightens his grip, just enough to stop him. "Mitch, maybe he would have got help and he he definitely wouldn't have done what he did to Tobias or exchanged those photos and video of Matt with Andy, but it wouldn't have stopped him doing... doing... you er... well you know." He then says in the same tone as he tries his best to reassure the older boy, but he still couldn't help but struggle when it came to his brother and he couldn't see it ever getting any easier.
"We don't need to talk about this Wesley, I'm here for you and not to ease my own conscience." Mitch then decides to say in a soft tone, as he takes control of the embrace and pulls the boy into his chest, after hearing the sadness and hurt in his voice and suddenly realised that he really was being selfish and should be ashamed of himself for almost making this all about himself.
"It's still not your fault Mitch and... and... Mitch, I'm really sorry for what I did at the church, I wasn't thinking." Wesley responds in a quiet and sad tone, as he lets the older boy comfort him now and despite everything, he felt safe in his arms and had actually missed having him comfort him, it had been a while since they were in this kind of situation and it made him feel even worse for how he had acted earlier, because the older boy had always been there for him and he owed him so much and he had almost let him die.
"I don't blame you for wanting to kill him Wesley, there was a part of me that wanted to let you do it or do it myself, but..." Mitch then begins to say in a reassuring and understanding tone, but as he feels the boy pulling away from him, he couldn't help but trail off and look at him in confusion when he sees the expression on his face.
"I'm not sorry about that Mitch, I'm... I'm... I wanted to kill him and I still do, but... Mitch, I'm..." Wesley then begins to say in an ashamed and slightly frightened tone, as he struggles to say the words out loud and quickly trails off as he stares into the older boys eyes and loses his nerve.
"Then what?" Mitch then asks in a confused tone, before suddenly realising what the boy was going to say and he couldn't help but tense up a little bit and while he hadn't forgotten what had happened, he was prepared to not let it affect their relationship, but actually hearing the boy bringing it up again, was harder than he thought it could be and as he looked down, he could see that he had clenched his hands into fists.
"I er... Mitch, I didn't..." Wesley then begins to say in an apologetic tone, before flinching a little bit as he is quickly cut off and was half expecting to be punched or something, which he knew he deserved for what he had done or to be more precise, not done.
"Shut up Wesley!" Mitch quickly states in a harsh and strained tone, as he stares at the boy for a few minutes. "I won't lie Wesley and I know you weren't thinking clearly, but you just stood there and while I still love you and I will always be there for you and I really mean that, I truly do, that's just not something I will ever forget and I guess it does change some things between us." He then states honestly and while he hated to admit it, now that they were actually talking about it, it did make him look at the boy differently and while he wasn't lying about loving him and being there for him, something had changed and he wasn't sure if that would heal over time or not.
"Change... things between us?" Wesley then just about manages to ask in a meek tone, before wiping his eyes with the back of his hands and even though he felt reassured that the older boy still cared for him and would look out for him, the rest of his words frightened him and he was almost too afraid to ask him to explain what he had meant.
"Wesley, you just stood there and again, I understand what you were going through, but you just stood there and if he wasn't just messing around and toying with me for a while, he would have killed me and that's something I don't think I can just forget about or let go, I just don't think I can." Mitch responds in a reluctantly honest tone, as he looks at the boy and sighs when he sees the look on his face.
"But er... but... you said it will change things, but you said you still love me and will look out for me, I er... I just don't get it." Wesley then states in a confused tone, while feeling like a monster on the inside, as he really thinks about what had happened and while he knew what he did was bad, knowing how the older boy really felt about it, just made him realize just how much he had hurt him and he could feel himself trembling a little bit.
"I will always care about you Wesley and I will always look out for you, just like I have done, but as far as trusting you, especially with my life, I guess... I guess I don't, not right now anyway and I don't know if I ever will be able to, so I guess when you eventually join the police, I don't think I could be your partner like we talked about, I just don't... right now, I can't see it being possible." Mitch answers honestly and while he was just trying to explain himself as clearly as possible, it didn't make the horrible feeling of disgust with himself, any easier to bare, he had come round to help the boy and to cheer him up and here he was telling him that he didn't trust him any more and he could see how much damage he was doing, just by the boys expression and the way he was trembling slightly.
"I..." Wesley then tries to responds, but as he struggles to think of anything to say to the older boy in response, he begins to tremble even more, before breaking down completely and even when he feels himself being pulled into the older boys arms, he couldn't compose himself and just cries into his chest, as he realises that he had not only lost his brother and maybe even his boyfriend, he had probably destroyed his friendship with him as well and he wasn't sure if he could cope with everything.
"Why won't you just drop it?" Carter asks in a frustrated tone, for what seemed like the hundredth time already, as he looks between his two friends.
"Because you being silly head." Tobias responds with a serious look, as he stares at his friend and wonders if they would ever get through to him.
"And you can't even..." Carter then begins to retort in an annoyed tone, before quickly getting cut off by his other friend, who he could see was looking pissed off again.
"Seriously, you're going to insult him again? You're here crying about how your boyfriend called you names and how much it hurt you and then you go and make fun of your friend, who is just trying his best to stop you making the biggest mistake of you life, seriously Carter?" Jordan states in an almost venomous tone, as he glares at his friend and while he didn't want the conversation to get this heated, he was tired of the kids glove approach and he wasn't going to let him keep insulting them both.
"You don't know..." Carter then begins to say in a defensive tone, before again finding himself being interrupted by his friend, while also noticing the hurt look on his other friends face and he couldn't help but start to feel guilty about his behaviour.
"Don't even try to play innocent Carter, because by my count, you've called me a prick about five times and you're lucky I didn't knock you out for what you brought up about Mr Jones, because if it was anyone other than you Carter, they would have woken up in hospital..." Jordan states in an angry and pissed of tone, before trailing off for a few moments as he stands up and walks in front of his friend. "But I am a bit of a prick and maybe I can't take the moral high ground with you Carter, but what the fuck has Tobias ever done to you? And don't give me that look, you've took the piss out of his talking twice already and you were about to do it again just now, you've also made two pissy comments about his clothes and even his hair and don't even try to deny it Carter." He then states in the same tone as before, while giving his friend an unimpressed look.
"It's okay, I don't..." Tobias then begins to say in worried tone, as he tries to stop his friends from arguing, but he couldn't help but look at his friend in frustration, after he cuts him off before he can finish.
"Tobias, it's not okay and it's not all right, not while he is sulking about his boyfriend calling him names and at the same time insulting us and that's not right, it's not even close to being right." Jordan quickly states in a firm tone, as he gives his friend an apologetic look for interrupting him, before turning to his other friend and giving him the same unimpressed look as before.
"It's not the same thing, he..." Carter then begins to protest, but quickly finds himself being cut off and he couldn't help but look at his friend in defeat and knew he was being selfish and unfair, but he just couldn't help it, he was feeling so many different things and none of them were good feelings.
"You're too fucking right they aren't the same thing Carter, for one thing, you have no excuse for the way you've talked to us and secondly, you're being a fucking hypocrite and you haven't even attempted to apologise to either one of us once." Jordan quickly states in a venomous tone and while he knew he was being harsh and he could see his other friend getting more and more worried, he couldn't help it and he just wanted to stop his friend and former boyfriend from making a huge mistake.
"No excuse? Fuck off Jordan, I have every right to be angry, my boyfriend..." Carter then quickly begins to retort, before just as quickly finding himself being cut off and this time watches as his friend walks right up to him again.
"Your boyfriend called you names, boo fucking hoo Carter and if you think that's a good enough reason to bring up Mr Jones to me and make fun of the way Tobias talks, then maybe you deserve to be alone, because right now, Wesley deserves a hell of a lot better than you and so do we." Jordan almost hisses in anger and he only just manages to keep his voice low, while also letting his other friend pull him back and despite his anger, he was realising he was going too far, especially when he sees his friend staring open mouthed at him.
"But I... I er..." Carter then begins to respond, before trailing off in shock as his friends words sink in and he struggles to come up with any sort of response.
"That's right Carter, you can't even come up with anything to justify how you've been acting, I mean for fuck sake Carter, his brother was murdered, two of his friends were attacked and one ended up with a fractured jaw and the other is still missing, Matt was poisoned and almost died, Ben went all weird and creepy and according to you, his parents have been nothing but condescending and dismissive of him and his feelings and then on the day of his brothers funeral, he thinks a guy that is practically his big brother in every way except in blood, actually caused his brothers death and he was angry, lost, hurt and so many other shitty things Carter and he lashed out, he lashed out at everyone from what you and Tobias have told me and so what if he said the one thing that could hurt you the most, you should know better Carter, you're the one who told me how vulnerable Wesley really was inside and how insecure he was and yet when he needed you the most, you abandoned him and you should be ashamed." Jordan then states from the heart and even though he had no idea where that speech had come from, he couldn't help but feel a little proud of himself and knew that he had just said something special.
"You should have ignored what he said Carter, because Matt's said a lot worse to Ben and he even tried to strangle me twice and he wasn't playing, he almost killed me the first time, but I knew he was ill and I knew it wasn't really him, so I forgave him and you should forgive Wesley, because... because the stuff you said to Jordan about Mr Jones was mean and worse than what Wesley called you and you know how I hate talking stupid, but you made fun of it and that was mean, I don't like you when you're mean Carter, I don't like mean people." Tobias then decides to say in a soft and sad tone, as he looks at his friend almost pleadingly, he hated this and he hated how horrible his friend was being and he was just hoping that he would stop being mean now and go back to being the friend that he loved.
"I'm... I'm... sorry..." Carter then only just about manages to say, before bursting into tears and crying his heart out and even the feeling of both his friends cuddling up either side of him can't stop him now and he just trembles in their arms as the realization of what he had done starts to really hit him and he knew he should have stayed strong for his boyfriend, instead of just leaving him and the way he had treated his two friends was worse, even worse than what his boyfriend had done to him and he just felt pathetic and ashamed of himself.
"Tobias er... well er... my mum and dad are going out for a few hours, do you er... do you want me to bring up some food and drink?" Lily asks in a nervous and unsure tone, after slowly walking into her room and seeing her boyfriend cuddled up to his crying friend, who was obviously in a lot of distress and she wasn't really sure what to do or how to act, which just felt weird as it was her room.
"I er... I don't know." Tobias responds in a sad and strained tone, as he does his best to stop himself from crying, because he knew he was close and he could feel tears in his eyes after spending almost ten minutes comforting his crying friend, who didn't even look or sound anywhere near being ready to stop yet.
"Lily, some food and drink would be good, but can you give us like ten more minutes and then you can both come up and er... if you have some tissues and a wet cloth, that would be great as well, but er... well I know it's your room, but could you well er... knock before coming in, just to well er... you know." Jordan then says in a sad tone, as he hears his friend struggling to respond and decides to try and take charge as he looks at his friends girlfriend and could tell that she felt bad for just walking in, even if it was her bedroom.
"Sure Jordan and I'm sorry for just walking in, I'll knock when we come up later and I will make sure Ashleigh does as well." Lily responds in a sympathetic and understanding tone, as she gives them all a caring smile and while she wanted to give her boyfriend a kiss, the way Carter was crying, she knew that she should leave and give them some more time.
"Thanks and tell her... well just tell her that er... well..." Jordan then begins to say with a shy smile, before losing his nerve a little in front of his friends, even though he knew they wouldn't have even paid any attention to what he was going to say, it was still a little embarrassing to actually say stuff like that in front of them.
"I will and we will be up in like ten minutes." Lily responds with a smile, which widened a little bit when she saw the boy blush and just thought it was sweet and she liked that about him, because despite being a bit of a naughty boy and even a little mean some times, he was also sweet and caring and she could see why her best friend liked him so much, before suddenly realising that she was now just staring at him and quickly decided to back out of her room and head back to her friend.
"He went out?" Ben quickly asks in a confused tone, as his friend puts the phone down and despite being curious about his expression and the call, he couldn't help but wonder when his friends dad had even left, because he thought he was still downstairs.
"Yeah, he got called into work you moron, you know, when he called Alex down earlier, don't you ever pay attention." Matt quickly answers his fiancé's question, just before their friend could and despite being curious about the call himself, he couldn't resist teasing his fiancé for being such a dumb ass.
"All I remember is Alex asking us about our sex life and telling him how sex actually works." Ben quickly responds with a shrug of the shoulders, before giving his fiancé a loving look after seeing him giving him one of his own and he could never resist that look.
"I swear to god, if you two start making out on my bed again, I'm going to burn the fucking thing and never let you in here again." Alex then quickly states with a big grin, after deciding to have a little fun with his friends, before making his way to the hospital and even though it was strange that his dad called him to get there as soon as possible, he wasn't quite ready to get rid of his friends just yet, even if his dad did sound weird.
"But it's so comfortable and it feels so soft." Ben then says in a teasing tone, before playfully pushing his fiancé on to his back and leaning down to kiss him.
"Eww for fuck sake, fuck off you guys, seriously, I've got to sleep on that tonight." Alex then quickly states in mock annoyance, as he watches his friends making out and while he knew they were doing it to wind him up a little, he actually felt himself react in another way and he couldn't help but be a little surprised, although as he thought about it, it wasn't the first time he had been a little turned on by them, they were definitely hot and he also couldn't help but realise just how similar they looked from this angle and it was only their hair, that were really that different, because they pretty much looked identical.
"We were just trying to keep it warm for you, I mean no one wants to jack off in a cold bed, right?" Matt then says in a soft and playful tone, after feeling his fiancé pulling away from their kiss and quickly deciding to tease their friend a little bit more, which by his expression had worked perfectly.
"Jacking off sounds hot." Ben then states in a sexy tone, while ignoring what his fiancé was trying to do and not even giving their friend a chance to respond, as he leans back down and resumes the kiss, his boyfriend saying jack off, was just too hot and they had tried a few variations over the past few weeks, to try and not make a fool off themselves when they talk dirty to each other or more to the point, attempt to talk dirty and hearing him saying jack off, was definitely hot and better than the other things they had tried calling it before.
"You two are fucking impossible, you know that." Alex then states with a shake of the head and a smile, before watching his two friends kissing for almost a minute. "But seriously guys, my dad wants me to go to the hospital and it sounded important, so I kind of need to go now." He then states in a slightly reluctant tone, as he realises just how much he was enjoying not only watching them kissing each other, but also seeing Matt squeezing and massaging Ben's bum cheeks, which definitely caused him to react and he knew he needed to act now, before going completely hard.
"Fine, but only because you bed smells of BO, don't you ever take a shower?" Ben quickly responds in a teasing tone, before feeling himself being elbowed in the ribs by his fiancé, after getting off him and sitting up next to him.
"Shut up Dumb Ass." Matt then states in a slightly amused tone, before turning to their friend. "Everything is okay though right Alex?" He then asks in a curious tone, after thinking about his friends dad calling him and asking him to go to the hospital.
"I don't know, he wouldn't tell me why he wanted me to go and he sounded weird, but not bad weird, just weird." Alex responds honestly, as he again tries to work out why his dad wanted him to go and nothing really jumped to mind, because if it was really bad news, his dad would have told him and the same if it was something good, so he really couldn't figure it out.
"It's definitely weird, especially since we're here with you, but I guess he must just miss you or something like that, parents can be weird sometimes, I mean Matt's mum has days where she seems to not want us out of her sight and even my dad has been a bit like that in the past couple of weeks, so it's probably just something stupid like that Alex." Ben decides to say in a reassuring tone, after seeing the anxious look on his friends face and after teasing him so much, he felt like he needed to be a good friend right now and could see the appreciation on his face.
"Yeah, I agree, parents can be really weird some times Alex and he wasn't even supposed to be working today, so maybe he just wants to be near you, I mean I know we are here and he would have been downstairs, but I reckon he was just happy to be in the house and if he wanted to talk or something, he could have just called you down or something." Matt then decides to say in a confident tone, as he follows his fiancé's lead and reassures their friend, who was obviously doing his best to hide the fact he was a little bit worried.
"Yeah, yeah you're right guys and thanks, it's not like he's never asked me to come to the hospital before and I don't mind, I mean I would prefer to hang out with you two, but he's my dad and he's been really great lately, so I don't want to upset him or anything." Alex then states in a sincere tone, as he gives both his friends an appreciative smile, before walking over to his closet to get a change of clothes.
"We will wait downstairs and then we can walk some of the way with you, while we head home." Matt then suggests in a friendly tone, as he pulls his fiancé towards the door after seeing their friend getting some new clothes and guessing that he was going to change into them.
"I don't mind, it's not like I'm getting naked guys and we've changed in front of each other plenty of times before." Alex responds in a casual tone, as he thinks about his friends suggestion and he really didn't mind either way, he wasn't shy about his body and they had seen each other naked a few times now, so it wasn't a big deal to him.
"Nah, it's okay, we will wait downstairs for you, I want to call my mum and see if anyone is home." Matt quickly responds with a smile, before leading his fiancé out of their friends room and down the stairs and leaving their friend to get changed.
"What was that all about?" Ben then asks in a curious tone, after reaching their friends living room and seeing his fiancé pulling his phone out of his pocket.
"Just because we've seen each other undressed and stuff a few times, it doesn't mean we have to watch someone get changed Ben." Matt quickly answers honestly, while holding off dialling his mums number for a few moments.
"True, but he didn't seem to mind and well we missed a free show Matt." Ben then says in a slightly curious tone, as he continues to stare at his fiancé and wonder if he was okay.
"Sure, he's got a nice body, but honestly Ben, unless it's you getting changed or naked, I'm not really that interested." Matt then says in a sincere tone, while he gives his fiancé a loving look.
"Well er... I kind of don't mind looking at other boys, but er... you don't mind do you?" Ben then asks in a nervous tone, as he decides to be totally honest and while it was risky, he was curious to see how his fiancé reacted and whether it was something he would need to stop doing, even if it was completely innocent.
"Does it turn you on?" Matt then decides to ask in response, as he gives his fiancé a long and curious look, as he tries to figure out if he was actually bothered by his fiancé's admission or not and he was leaning on the side of not really minding, he knew he loved him and that was all that really mattered.
"Not really, I mean I like what I see some times, you know like Wesley and his muscles and I like how small Carter is, but it's not like in a sexual way, you're the only person I've ever liked that way and well er... does that make sense?" Ben answers honestly again and while it was still risky, he was hoping that he had managed to explain himself clearly and that his fiancé understood what he was trying to say.
"Oh, then I kind of need to change my answer, because I think some boys have nice bodies too and well er... I kind of like how Mitch's body looks and while I don't really want to have any hair like he has, I think he looks pretty good and all his muscles are from running and stuff like that, not like those big horrible muscled guys who lift stupid weights all the time." Matt then decides to admit and while talking about his fiancé's brothers body was a little awkward, he didn't think he would mind and while he could see him giving him a slightly weird look, he can also see him beginning to smile as well and knew it was okay.
"Well it's a little creepy that out of all the people we've seen naked, you had to bring up my brother, but I get it and yeah, there's nothing wrong with thinking someone has a nice body." Ben responds honestly and while he thought about teasing his fiancé, he had brought the subject up and he wanted it to be a serious conversation, well as serious as a conversation about other boys bodies could be.
"Seriously guys, is sex all you two ever think about?" Alex asks in an amused tone, after walking into his living room and hearing what his two friends were talking about and couldn't help but shake his head a little bit.
"Yeah, pretty much." Ben quickly answers with a smirk, which grows when he sees the look on his friends face and knew that he wasn't expecting him to answer like that and the sound of his fiancé giggling, just made it even better.
"So anyway, ready to go?" Alex then asks in a slightly annoyed tone, as his attempt to embarrass his friends failed and while he wasn't actually annoyed, he knew it would amuse his friends and he liked the happy atmosphere they had going on right now and it was doing a good job of keeping his mind occupied.
"Yeah sure." Matt responds with a smile, as he puts his phone back in his pocket after deciding not to bother calling his mum. "We have our keys and Mum said she wasn't going anywhere today." He then states with a smile, after seeing the look on his friends face and guessed what he was going to ask.
"Okay, fair enough." Alex then says with a smile of his own, before leading his friends out of his house and locking the door behind them and then walking towards the hospital and his friends house.
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