The Move
Chapter 33
By Doug Smith
We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast when Mr. J. got off the phone. Mom and Dad drove in their car and Scott rode with me in Dan's jeep. They said we should take two cars so we could come and go easier. They also said they needed to talk about something. The sound of that bothered me but they said not to worry, they'd explain everything.
I'd only been to a Cracker Barrel a few times. My father wasn't one to take me to restaurants the last eight years. Not that a Cracker Barrel is all that special but they do have good food. It's tough to screw up breakfast anyway. They try to give the image that they have old fashion country cooking. It was okay but I wasn't really hungry. My mind was on Dan. Scott enjoyed himself. He almost seemed cheerful.
"Josh, there is something you should know. We talked to the Michaels last night. We had to tell them about Dan. He was like a son to them. You should know they're flying in today."
"I should probably make myself scarce then. Will they be staying at the house? I can probably stay somewhere else while they're here. The problem is Jason is coming in too. I talked to him last night too. I forgot to tell you."
"No, you don't need to do that. There's something else too. Jon Kinkaid called me this morning. I had him investigating something. He called this morning and said he had some results. This isn't a good time but it's important. I know you want to get to the hospital but we really need to talk to Jon."
"What investigation? Can't it wait? I really want to get to the hospital."
"I'm sorry. Given the circumstances I don't think it can. I'd rather wait for him to explain at the office. I know there is a lot going on but this is extremely important."
"Not even until tomorrow? Dan is more important than me and with the Michaels coming, you don't need to worry about my problems now."
"Josh ...Dan is going to be fine. We'll get to the hospital as soon as we can but this is important. It could have waited if all this hadn't happened but not now. "
"I don't understand. What does Dan getting hurt have to do with what Mr. Kinkaid has to say?"
"You will. Don't worry, everything will be okay."
"I hope so. I just hope it doesn't take too long. I need to see Dan."
"We all do and we'd be going right now but this is even more important than that. Dan is still sleeping and won't be waking up until this afternoon. We have time."
I was lying in Aaron's bed looking up at him. I was burning up.
"What's happening Aaron?"
"Everything is fine Dan. You're starting to go back. You'll be leaving soon. Your other self has an infection and a fever. That's what you're feeling. The closer you get to becoming one person the more you're feeling what he's feeling. That's a good thing. He can't wake up until you're there. When he does it'll be you waking up."
"I can't stay here with you?"
"No Dan. Nobody lives in the 'in-between'. I can just come when you need me. Remember, I'm watching you. You're going to be fine. Now go back to sleep. It won't be long. I'll stay right here with you."
"Thank you Aaron. I love you."
"I love you too. I always have and I always will. There's someone else who loves you too and he's going to need your help."
"Josh, come into my office. Diane, you should come too. ...Scott, you wait here."
"It's okay Mr. J., he can come too. He's my brother, right?"
Mr. J. smiled. It seemed like it was a nervous smile and that concerned me. "Alright, let's all go in and sit down."
I took a seat on the couch and Scott climbed up beside me. Mr. And Mrs. J. both had strange looks on their faces and I couldn't read what they were thinking. That worried me. My first thought was that something happened to Dan. Maybe that's why they wanted Scott to stay in the outer office. Maybe they didn't want him to hear yet. That didn't make sense though since we weren't at the hospital and they let him come in.
"What's wrong Mr. J.? Is Dan okay?"
"Josh ...this isn't about Dan. It's about you. Jon should be right in. He and I will explain everything."
"Did something else happen? Did something happen to my father? Is the DA going to charge me with something?"
"No Josh, your father is still in the hospital. He's getting the help he needs and it's too early to know about the DA."
Mr. Kinkaid knocked on the door and walked in as we were talking. He and Mr. J. talked for a few seconds while Mr. Kinkaid showed him some papers. Mr. J. looked at me and shook his head. There were tears in Mrs. J's eyes.
"Josh, what we're about to tell you is going to be very hard to believe. When I asked Jon to look into this I didn't believe it could be true but after you found that letter I had to know for sure."
"Mr. J., what's going on? What's wrong?"
"Wrong isn't the right word. Everything will be fine. It's just something you need to know. I wish I could tell you and Dan together but with the Michaels coming it's important to tell you now.
"It's okay Mr. J., I know the Michaels meeting me will be hard. I told you I can stay somewhere else while they're here if that will be easier. I don't want to cause trouble."
"No," shouted Scott giving me a hug.
"Thank you Josh but that won't be necessary. This is going to be hard for you to believe but you trust us right? You know we only want what is best for you?"
"Of course I do. You've been great. Please tell me what's going on."
"This is about you and Aaron."
"I don't understand. What does he have to do with me? We never knew each other."
"That's not quite true Josh. This is going to be hard to believe but we just found out some things that we need to tell you. ...You know how you look like Aaron, right?"
"Yeah, of course. It's weird but two people can look alike."
"What you don't know, what Dan doesn't know, what Aaron didn't even know is that Aaron had a twin brother. His name was Christoper Alan Michaels. Diane and I knew but we never told Dan and Aaron's parents never told Aaron."
"What's that got to do with me?"
"Josh, Aaron's brother was kidnapped right after he was born. The police investigated and found a mutilated newborn baby in a landfill. Everyone assumed it was him. All the tests indicated that was the case so the matter was closed. The medical examiner told the Michaels the baby was Christopher. They said the DNA test proved it. The Michaels were devastated."
"Are you trying to tell me that I'm him? That's impossible. I was born in Derry."
"I know that's what you believe and we tried to find a record of that. This never occurred to us when we first met you. It was all in the past. We thought it was just a strange coincidence that you look so much like Aaron but Jon queried every hospital and database in New Hampshire and Massachusetts and couldn't find any record of a Joshua Sullivan being born when you said. The thing that caused me to ask him to look into this was the letter you found in your father's papers. The attorney that he hired was disbarred a few years ago for unethical practices regarding adoptions. I still didn't believe it could be true but I had to have Jon to look into it. He just got the results back last night. Jon? Can you explain what you found?"
Jon pulled out a sheet of paper from a folder he was holding. "Josh, this is the results of a DNA test we performed. I had it done twice to double check before saying anything. The results are conclusive. It clearly shows that you are the biological son of Mr. and Mrs. Christoper Michaels."
"How can that be? You're telling me everything I know about myself is a lie? I don't believe it. How did you do a DNA test. Where did you get my DNA?"
"Josh, please calm down. We're not saying everything you know is a lie. We believe you were adopted and that your adopted parents probably didn't even know where you came from. They were probably told you were the product of a teenage pregnancy who was being put up for adoption. It's unfortunate they never told you but that's not unusual. Sometimes parents plan to tell children when they feel they're old enough to understand. In your case your mother died. None of this means she didn't love you very much."
"I still can't believe it. How did you get Mr. And Mrs. Michaels' DNA? You couldn't have just asked them. They would have wanted to know why."
"It really wasn't that difficult. I have a key to their house. I never gave it back when we moved. Jon hired a private detective and one day when they were out he slipped in and was able to collect samples for both of them. Maybe that wasn't right but you're right, I couldn't very well tell them why we needed their DNA."
I had my arm on Scott's shoulder. I was speechless. He just looked up at me and smiled. "You're Aaron's brother? Waaay Coooool. Wait until Dan finds out."
It was kind of cool in a bizarre way although I wasn't too proud of my first thought. If all this is true I wanted to go to the hospital not to see Dan but to go punch the shit out of my worthless father. He treated me like shit and I wasn't even his son.
I also worried what Dan would think when he does find out. It took him a month to get over me looking like Aaron. Would he be able to handle me being his brother?
"You're sure there is no mistake? You said they performed a DNA test on the baby that was found. That doesn't make sense."
"I can't explain that. Maybe testing wasn't as advanced or maybe they were in a hurry and made a mistake. A kidnapped baby and finding a dead baby are big news. There was pressure to find an answer."
"What about my father? What does he say?"
"He won't talk to us. Jon has tried to talk to him about other things several times and he's refused to talk to us. We haven't asked him about you being adopted. We're basing this on the DNA tests along with all the other coincidences."
"Mr. J. if it was anyone else telling me this I wouldn't believe it but I trust you. I know you wouldn't be telling me this if you didn't believe it. What's going to happen now? Will I have to go live with the Michaels? I don't even know them and they don't know me. Plus they live halfway across the country and everything I know is here."
"Josh – we all want what is best for you. Even though the Michaels don't know anything about this they will too. I know this is happening fast but with Dan being in the hospital and the Michaels flying in this soon it's inevitable that you meet them anyway. Jon just found out last night and called me right away. I didn't want to tell you late last night because of everything that was going on. We also could have sat on it for a few days but then how would you have felt knowing we knew and didn't tell you? I know it's confusing but you don't have anything to worry about. The Michaels are good people and Diane and I won't let anything happen to you."
"You're going to like the Michaels. They're nice," said Scott.
"I'm going to need a scorecard to tell who my parents are. How are they going to take this?"
"They're obviously going to be surprised. They pretty much put their loss behind them and focused entirely on Aaron. Once they had the funeral they never talked about it again. I know they visit the grave. It isn't far from Aaron's. Dan was too upset at Aaron's funeral to notice. We're going to have to think about how we tell them. They have no idea."
"It's going to be a weird afternoon. I wish Dan was with me."
"Speaking of Dan we should get to the hospital. I know this is going to take some time to get use to but things will work out. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
"I know. I'm just overwhelmed. I'll be better once I know Dan is okay."
"Aaron, the pain is getting worse."
"That's because the Doctors are waiting for you to wake up. They were giving you drugs so you'd sleep. Now they want you to wake up."
"Why don't I then? Why am I still here?"
"Whatever they gave you isn't out of your system yet. You will wake up soon and when you do you'll be back with the people who love you."
"I'm with someone who loves me now. You're going to stay as long as you can aren't you?"
"Of course Dan. Just relax. I'll be right here beside you. Just don't get hard again. Your mother is on her way to see you."
"Thinking about that should help keep it in check," I said trying to smile.
It felt good with Aaron lying against me. He reminded me of Josh. It was different but they both cared the same. We just laid there like that without saying anything for ten or fifteen minutes.
"Aaron?"
"What?"
"I never got to say good-bye to you. All I remember is the sight of your eyes closing that last time. All I could do was cry."
"Dan, you've said good-bye, several times. I've heard you, every time. I've heard every time you've talked to me. I still will but you need to move on Dan. What we had was great but now you have someone else and that's how it should be. I know you love him and he loves you. We'll see each other again. You won't live forever. When it's time you and I will be together again."
"What about Josh? He'll die sometime too. How can I choose?"
"You won't have to. Trust me, it'll be okay but you don't have to worry about that for a long time. You have your entire life ahead of you. Enjoy it. I'll be watching."
"Can I see it again?"
"Can you see what?"
"I want to see your cock one last time."
"You're still a perve. Go to sleep."
"Please? I'll be good. I just want to see it."
"Alright, but it's nothing special. You said Josh is just like me except he's circumcised."
"It's special because it's yours. You're beautiful Aaron. I wish I could make you feel good one last time but I can't. You know that, right?"
"I know Dan and don't worry, the time we've spent together has made me feel just fine. I'd say to visit again but it's not something that happens by choice. It's not like Jason flying in from Chicago. He's landing in soon by the way."
I smiled. "I'm not surprised. Jason is something else. Too bad he's so straight. He would have given you competition."
He smiled. "Maybe he would have wanted me. Then where would you have been?"
I laughed. "I never wanted anyone but you since I was ten years old and knew I liked guys. I didn't know what it all meant then but I knew I just wanted to be near you. I prepared myself for when you liked girls but I don't know what I would have done if you chose another guy."
"That wasn't going to happen Dan. I felt the same about you."
We got to the hospital around eleven-thirty. I still couldn't believe what Dad, ah, Mr. J. had told me. I wonder if I can still call him Dad. I hope so. I'm still a little worried what Dan will say when he finds out. I mean there are some guys you wouldn't do anything with because you don't think it would be right no matter how attracted you are to them. I mean I'd never do anything with Scott for example. Yeah, he's only eight which is largely the reason why but I mean if he was my age. He's Dan's brother and mine too. It just wouldn't be right. I could see Dan feeling the same way knowing I'm Aaron's brother. ...Wow, 'Aaron's brother' ...I still can't believe it. Wait until everyone at school hears that."
Dan was still sleeping when we went into his room. I stood back and let his parents talk to him. They both leaned over and kissed his forehead, even his father. I can't remember the last time my father kissed me of course if he tried now I'd punch him out. Dan stirred a little when Scott held his hand. He stood on his tip-toes and kissed him on the cheek.
"Wake up soon Dan. I miss you. We've got a secret to tell you too."
Mr. and Mrs. J. looked at me and motioned me closer.
"We're going to find the nurse. Talk to him Josh. He'll want to hear your voice."
I looked as Scott and Mrs. J. smiled.
"Scott, you come with us."
"Please Mom. I want to stay with Dan."
"We'll come back in a little while. Let Josh have some time alone with him."
He looked at me and smiled. "Alright, he just wants to get all mushy with him anyway."
"Come on you. You're growing up too fast."
Mr. J. came over to me before he left.
"Please don't tell him right away if he wakes up. He'll have a lot of questions and he needs to rest. We should all be here." I think he saw the worry on my face. "Don't worry Josh. I know my son. This won't change how he feels about you."
"I hope not." I said not entirely convinced.
He just smiled and took Scott to go look for the nurse. I sat in the chair next to Dan's bed and took his hand.
"I'm here Dan. I miss you. I hope you wake up soon. There's so much we need to talk about. Things have really changed. I hope you'll be okay with everything. I'm worried. What if it changes things between us? I don't know what I'd do. I love you" I leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. His breath was pretty bad but I didn't care. I could still taste him.
I held his hand and just watched him sleep. The events of the last day went through my head. Life really takes some twists and turns sometimes but hopefully things work out. A nurse came in and saw me holding his hand. I blushed but didn't let go. She just smiled.
"It's okay son. He'll come back to you soon. His vitals have improved a lot plus his fever is coming down. He'll be sore when he wakes up and it'll be a while before he recovers but he'll be one hundred percent before you know it."
"I hope so," I said, tears in my eyes.
She just smiled. "I have a son who feels the same way about someone. He's older and hasn't told me anything but I know. Mothers have a way of knowing."
I smiled. "Thanks," I said. "I don't know what I'd do if he dies."
"He's not going to die. He'll be waking up soon. Just talk to him. I'm sure he can hear you."
"Kevin, it's time to go to the airport. The Michaels' flight should be landing within the hour. We said we'd pick them up."
"I'll go. You stay with Dan and the boys. How do you want to handle this?"
"Why don't you bring them by my office. We can talk there. As far as how we tell them we can play it by ear. I'd recommend explaining and then bringing Josh in. I don't think he should be sitting there when they walk in."
"I agree. They're going to be shocked enough. You know, we've been assuming they will want to know. What if they don't?"
"Kevin, I'm a mother and I know Jackie. That isn't an issue."
"If you say so. That is more your specialty than mine."
The Michaels plane landed at one-thirty and they saw Kevin waiting by security as soon as they exited.
"Kevin, it's good to see you. I wish it was under better circumstances. How is he? Is he going to be okay? We've been so worried."
"He's still sleeping Jackie. It's good to see you both as well. I know we've talked on the phone but there is nothing like getting together. Thank you for coming."
"Of course we'd come. You know how we feel about Dan. How's he been otherwise? We've been so worried about him."
"Actually very good. He's been coming around. It's not because we did anything. He met someone."
"Really? That's great. We kept telling him he had to move on."
"I guess he wasn't ready but he's really been doing pretty good the last month or so. His counselor doesn't even want to see him as often."
"That's great. I'm so glad. Tell me, this person he met?"
"It's a boy Jackie. I've finally accepted that Dan is gay. He really loves this boy. You'll meet him at the hospital. He obviously hasn't forgotten Aaron but..."
"It's okay Kevin. We know what they meant to each other. We also knew he'd move on. You know we just want the best for him. That's why we're here. It'll be hard to meet him but we'll be happy for Dan."
"We should get going. Do you have luggage? We can pick it up and then go to the hospital. Diane wanted us to stop by her office to get her. She had to make some phone calls. I think she just wanted to give Josh some alone time with Dan."
"Where's Scott?"
"He was with Dan and Josh but Diane was going to drag him to her office."
"Is he still the same?"
"Scott is unique."
"That's for sure," another voice said.
"Jason!! I heard you were coming. Thank you. Dan will be glad you're here when he wakes up."
"Thanks Mr. Johnson. I came as soon as I could. My father said to say hello. He sends his best. How is Dan? Hi Mr. and Mrs. Michaels. It's good to see you again. I don't know if you remember me. I'm Jason Stryker. Aaron was a really good friend."
"Of course we remember you Jason. We're looking forward to seeing you play basketball this year. You should be starting, right?"
"I hope so. I've been trying to convince Dan to come and watch some games during the Christmas Tournament. Hopefully he'll be better by then."
"Jason, do you need a ride to the hospital? You're staying with us, right?"
"I hope so. The tickets were free but I'd rather not spend money on a hotel room."
"Of course you're staying with us. We have plenty of room. The Michaels can have the guest room and you, Scott and Josh can work out the other rooms."
"Dan's boyfriend is staying with you?" asked Chris.
"It's a long story."
"Will that work Mr. Johnson?" Jason asked looking at the Michaels.
"I'm sure everything will be fine Jason."
"Aaron, are you still here?"
"I'm here Dan. It's almost time."
"Hold me Aaron. I want to feel you."
"Dan, just relax. I'll be here as long as you need me."
"I'll always need you."
Kevin pulled Jason aside while the Michaels went to get their luggage.
"Jason, I need to talk to you while the Michaels are getting their luggage. We're going to need your help when we get to the hospital. They don't know about Josh other than he's Dan's boyfriend. I'm going to take them to Diane's office. There is something else going on that we need to tell them as well. I can't go into it now but I'm really glad you're here for Dan's and Josh's sake. Will you stay with Scott and Dan when they meet Josh."
"Sure, Mr. Johnson. I feel bad for them. I can't imagine what they're going to think. Josh looks so much like Aaron."
"The next couple of hours will definitely change things."
Before I could say anything else Chris and Jackie came back with their luggage. "We're ready Kevin. Let's go see that boy of yours."
"Let's go. Jason, when we get there we'll go to Diane's office to get her. I know she wants to talk to Chris and Jackie. Can you take Scott back to Dan's room before we come over?"
It didn't take long to get to Diane's office. Jason said hello and took Scott back to the hospital.
"I already called ahead and they added him to the visitor's list. It's nice to have some connections," said Diane. "Jackie--- Chris-– It's so good to see you. Thank you for coming. I just talked to the nurse. They expect Dan to be awake within an hour or two. Josh is holding vigil. That boy is something else."
"We can't wait to meet him. He must be special to capture Dan's attention. We've been so worried about him."
"Yes, he is. We all love him very much. He's had a difficult time since his mother died but that's all in the past now."
"That's too bad. I'm sure meeting Dan has helped."
"Sit down Jackie. There's something we need to tell you."
"What is it Diane? Dan is going to be okay isn't he?"
"Yes, thank God but this isn't about him. It's about Josh. It's a long story and we'll tell you everything we know but we don't have much time. He should be on his way over. I told him to come over as soon as Jason got there. We wanted you to meet him before you saw Dan."
"Alright, if that's what you want but why? You know we don't care that Dan has a new boyfriend. He and Aaron had something special but we knew he'd move on."
"This isn't about that. It's been hard for Dan. He met Josh the first day he started school. Saying it was difficult is an understatement. You'll understand when you meet him. Dan couldn't even talk to him for the first month. He didn't talk to us about things either. He just kept it all inside. He tried to act like nothing was wrong but we knew something was bothering him, something more than just moving. It wasn't until the kid who did this to Dan was harassing Josh that Dan did something. You know how protective he can be."
"But they're friends now?"
"Yes, in fact Josh has been living with us the last few weeks. The short story is his father had a breakdown but there is obviously more to it. There is also something else. I hope you're ready for this."
"Diane? What are you trying to say? Ready for what? What does this boy have to do with us?"
"Sit down Jackie. We'll explain."
"We only met Josh a few weeks ago. I told you Dan didn't say anything about him for the first month that we were here. He met him the first day of school. Dan was talking with a couple kids at lunch and Josh sat down next to him. Dan fainted when he saw him."
"Fainted? Why?"
"This is where it gets weird Jackie. Dan fainted because Josh looks identical to Aaron. He turned to meet him and just fainted. We couldn't believe it when we met him. I knew he wasn't Aaron but even I got confused when I look at him. I can only imagine how Dan felt."
"What?? You mean he looks a lot like him, right?"
"It's more than that."
"That's amazing. Thank you for warning us. Does he know?"
"Yes, Dan has told him everything. At first I was worried Dan was viewing him as a replacement for Aaron but that isn't the case. It's strange but they're really developing a healthy relationship. They love each other very much."
"That's good. It'll be hard to meet him but now that we know what to expect it'll be easier."
"There's more. Josh's mother died when he was eight. Since then it's just been him and his father and his father has some issues. He never got over his wife's death and is pretty much an alcoholic now. He's also been pretty abusive to Josh, nothing physical as far as we know, just emotional. It's amazing he's as well grounded as he is."
"Oh Diane. That's terrible. Is he okay?"
"Surprisingly he's a really good boy. He's polite, he doesn't drink or do drugs and he's very loving. He's very much like Aaron. He's even starting to get used to Dan showing his affection for him in front of us. You know Dan, he enjoys teasing so you can imagine how he's been."
"Kevin said he is living with you now."
"Yes, his father had a breakdown. He's in the hospital. Kevin has been looking out for Josh's interests and right now we have temporary custody of him. We didn't want him going into the system."
"It's good you're warning us. Meeting him will be hard but it'll be okay. We can handle it. Right Chris?"
"There's more Jackie. This is where you come in."
"Us? Why us?"
"When we first met Josh we were obviously amazed at how much he looks like Aaron. It was strange but we didn't think that much of it. He told us how his mother died, that he's lived in NH all his life as well as about his father so even after meeting him we didn't think this was possible."
"Think what is possible? What are you trying to say?"
"Kevin, do you want to explain?"
"Jackie... Chris... Certain things came up as part of his case that made me do some checking. We just found out the results of the investigation last night. I'm glad you're sitting down. ...You see, this boy's name is Joshua Alexander Sullivan or at least that's what he's believed all his life."
"What do you mean ...believed? That's not his name?"
"Jackie, Chris ...this is going to be hard to believe but no, that's not his name. We just found out his real name last night. It's not Joshua Alexander Sullivan. ...It's Christopher Alan Michaels. He's your son."
Chris and Jackie sat there with stunned looks on their faces. "What??? That's impossible. Our Chris is dead. We buried him. You were there."
"We thought we did," said Diane. "We buried a baby. All the tests led us to believe it was him but it wasn't. I know this is hard to believe but it's true. Kevin's firm had a DNA test performed. They ran it twice to make sure."
Just then the intercom buzzed and Diane's secretary said that Josh Sullivan was in the waiting room.
"Just a minute Carol. Have him wait there for a minute. I'll be right out."
"Jackie... Chris... Josh, or Chris, is a good kid," said Kevin. "I know this is a shock but we didn't know how else to tell you given everything else that is going on. We're your friends. You know that. We never thought this was possible. When we first met him we were amazed at how much he looked like Aaron but never in our wildest dreams could we have imagined this. Like I said, circumstances that came to light as part of his case made it something I had to check out. I'm embarrassed to say I had a private investigator enter your house to collect DNA samples. As your friend I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. I didn't want to bring up bad memories without being absolutely certain. We don't have time to go into all the details now. He's out there waiting."
"This is unbelievable. All these years? He's been out there all these years and we never knew? Does he know? What's he going to think of us? He must think we abandoned him. We thought he was dead. We'd never have given up looking if we thought he was alive. The police and medical examiner said that baby was him. We decided never to talk about it again but we never forgot him. It was so hard watching Aaron grow up knowing he should have had a brother. We never even told him. We talked about it but could never find the right words. You're sure it's him? There's no mistake?"
"We're as sure as we can be. We had the test run twice by independent labs. They both came back with the same answer. I'm sorry for using a private investigator to get your DNA but I really didn't think this was possible and I didn't want to raise your hopes or anxiety levels."
"Kevin, it's okay. We understand. Does he know?"
"Yes, he does. We told him this morning. He's as surprised as you and probably pretty confused. He didn't even know he was adopted. He was happy until his mother died but for the last eight years he's only had his father, or adoptive father, and he's a real piece of work. He's pretty concerned about Dan right now but this will all hit him pretty soon. He's a really good kid and he and Dan love each other. We assume you want to meet him. You do, don't you? He's waiting."
"Of course we want to meet him. I'm not sure we're ready but waiting won't make it any easier. I'm just worried what he'll think."
"Let me get him."
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