Boy on the Towpath
by Andrew Foote
Chapter 30
Okay, okay.
There will always be those who don't like the way stories develop and I expect my fair share of criticism following this next chapter. The one thing I will say is that if you want a story to go your way, why not try writing one of your own?
Recent events have forced me to question long held moral beliefs and principals and in a many respects this is my way of answering myself.
Be warned. Unlike previous chapters, this does contain descriptions of consensual sex between a man and an underage boy and so if because of the laws of your country of residence, religious or spiritual beliefs you are not permitted to access such material, may I suggest you leave now.
Tom clung onto me and his breathing settled down to something more like normal. His crying had stopped finally and slowly his manic-like grip on me loosened as he drifted into sleep. Careful not to wake him, I lay him down face-down on the bed and once satisfied he was completely out of it, I made my way through to the saloon and helped myself to a very stiff brandy.
As ever my thoughts were concentrated on what the hell I was going to do with him. I had tried. God only knows I'd tried but I'd failed him. He had done everything I'd asked of him and so much more but he was hurting inside so much and I wasn't at all sure just how much of it I could take.
The fact that I was now fully convinced he was gay didn't do anything to make my dilemma easier. He wanted me and I knew it. God damn it I wanted him so much as well but…….. But the law says it's wrong and all my life I'd held close the principles of correct behaviour, never mind how I felt about things but now I was finding myself questioning even those. I mean what the fuck do they know anyway? Surely if someone knows their sexuality whether they're fourteen or forty, shouldn't they be free to express it and with whoever they choose as a partner? Where is the difference between a boy of fifteen years and three-hundred and sixty-four days and the same boy on his sixteenth Birthday? Only the law. That is all. Oh, and twenty-four hours…….. Naturally.
Where is the correct behaviour when a child is so desperate that they self-harm, even consider taking their own life? To run away, to flee the protection of the love of their family? Where does the law sit then? Well of course therapy is the magic potion, the answer to very child's woes.
Yes convince them that actually they don't really feel this way, it's just a phase they're going through, something they'll grow out of but what actually are you doing here? You're telling them in a roundabout way that what they're feeling isn't normal and thus adding fuel to an already out of control inferno that's slowly consuming them. Yeah. That's a massive help isn't it!
Oh SHIT! I'm getting angry and anger doesn't aid considered thinking.
There must be a way but as I saw it, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't and no mid-position in between that would satisfy his needs and also my conscience.
Another large brandy and I sat down, closed my eyes and thought about my childhood.
Ian was my all-time love. We were what, twelve and thirteen or was it thirteen and fourteen? Can't remember but I do remember how much we loved each other! In those days the law had just been amended to allow consensual sex between adults of twenty-one or over so our relationship was totally under wraps. The occasional sleep-over, the occasional……..well anywhere we could grab a bit of privacy I guess but because everything was against us, we drifted apart come my time to leave school and go to university. Contact continued for a while but distances and the serious lack of funds made things impossible for us. I still miss him but you always remember your first love don't you? But my problem was he had been my ONLY love as men never featured in any of my fantasies, the occasional girl perhaps but nothing that could ever replace Ian. Well……..not until now anyway.
Here I am, yards from someone who wants me and needs me every bit as much as I do him but wracked with the guilt that the love I feel inside isn't any longer the pure love I'd felt before. The love that drives you to help and protect, to teach and nurture, to…….. No, it's been replaced or altered into something deeper and more urgent. I would always be there for him, be all of those good things but more, I WANTED HIM! I WANT HIM AS MY LOVER!
May God preserve me. Can I REALLY be thinking of this?
Sleep took me, probably the brandy but more than likely my state of mind but some three hours later I came too as Tom curled up beside me.
"'Bout time you woke Stu? You've been out for like ages!"
"Sorry. I guess I needed it as much as you did. What's the time?"
"Seven or thereabouts. Anyway I was starved so I took myself off to that place they mistakenly call an Italian restaurant and got us a carry-out. Want some?"
"Yeah why not? Want a beer with yours?"
"What?? You offering me a beer?"
"Well I've had some time to think and I can't think of any good reason why you shouldn't so if you want one, help yourself."
"So what else have you been tiring out your old brain with?"
"Lots of things if you must know!"
"Like?"
"Like nothing you need to concern yourself about alright? Well not at the moment anyhow."
"Okay already! Did you know that Bradley Wiggins has won the TDF?"
"No I've been asleep remember? Anyway that should give us something to be happy about if nothing else."
"You're not coming across as very happy? What would make you happy Stu?"
"Just don't go there okay? That's for me to know and for you to find out."
"Sometime?"
"Sometime…….. Maybe……..sometime."
That evening we just sat around watching TV. I think we were both deep in our own thoughts as what conversation there was limited to brief questions and even shorter answers. The few times I caught a glimpse of Tom's face without his noticing, it was flushed as if almost on the verge of tears
Early for him at ten o'clock Tom got up and looked at me but hardly meeting my eyes as he announced he was going to take a shower.
To this day I don't know what made me go and listen at the shower room door. At first all I could hear was the running water but just as I was about to turn away I heard something else. Tom was crying but also he was talking to himself. I put my ear to the door in an attempt to better make out what he was saying. What I heard put strength into my body such as I would never believe possible and I slammed into the shower room sending the door clean off its hinges.
Tom, naked from the waist up was standing under the water, bread knife in hand studying his forearm. The shock of my timely entrance made him drop the knife narrowly missing his foot and with what I can only describe as terror in his eyes, he screamed and screamed as he threw himself into my arms.
Time seemed to stand still for a moment but even though Tom is no toddler, I picked him up bodily and carried him through to the bedroom, flung back the duvet, lay him down before joining him in a massive embrace. Tom was still what I can only describe as hysterical and it took every ounce of self-will not to succumb myself but from somewhere came the strength and as I held him tight to me I could hear myself talking to him almost as if it wasn't me doing it.
"It's okay Tom. Really it is alright. It's over now. It's done, over, finished. As God is my witness, it is all finished. Nothing can hurt you anymore my beautiful boy. Nothing can take you away from me now and that pain you feel deep inside? I'm going to rid you of it tonight if you want me? Rid you of it forever."
Tom looked up at me, still crying but with happy eyes. I peeled off my now very wet shirt then leaned into him and so gently kissed him on the lips.
He opened up for me in such a way as to blank out everything but the moment. Gone my fears of the past, just the love that we were sharing through that first passionate kiss. Working my way to his ears, I kissed and nibbled at them as I'd done so many years ago to Ian. The result was even more explosive as Tom almost cried out with pleasure pushing his groin into mine almost winding me in the process. Onwards down to this very erect nipples, sucking and nibbling each one in turn before heading south to his tummy button, tonguing it savouring every inch of his body slowly and gently with my hands. Tom was almost apoplectic. His moans, cries and incoherent attempts at speech driving me ever onwards to what was eventually to be my goal but that was for later, quite a while later as I wanted him to experience and understand just how much I loved him and wanted him.
Ignoring the very substantial bulge in his shorts I made my way down kissing the inside of his thighs and down to his really pretty feet.
I still don't understand why I love his feet so much but they held a fascination for me then as they do to this day and luckily for me, licking and kissing his insteps, sucking on his toes drives him nuts making him whimper like a small puppy.
But now the time had come. For the very first time in his young life he was going to experience something he will remember for the rest of his days.
I reached up and undid the clasp on his shorts and took them off him complete with his CK's rendering him completely naked. For his part Tom fumbled around trying to get to mine but I got there first and took them off tossing them onto the floor.
That first naked embrace will stay with me forever. So soft, so pliant and so warm. I cuddled into him, both of us laying on our sides all the time kissing and caressing each other to the extent I was fast loosing coherent thought. I let my hand travel down and wrapped my fingers around his dick.
Tom physically shuddered.
"Oh my God! Stu I'm so very close!!"
I wanted him to experience the best of everything this his first outing into sex so I kicked the duvet off and went down on him engulfing his entire boyhood. No he didn't last long but it was worth every little moment! Tom let out a strangled squeal and he came in my mouth. His fountain of love pulsing and pulsing until he collapsed back onto the pillow exhausted.
For the next hour we just lay there in each other's arms with hardly a word spoken. There were no need for them anyway! Every time I looked up at him he was smiling almost like the first time we met. Still that 'little boy' look even though he was fast becoming a man in his own right. Oh God I loved him! Any thoughts of the correctness of what we'd embarked on now a distant memory. It was just love in all its wonder. Totally fulfilling in all its beauty but we had barely begun as I was about to find out!
Okay I'm not THAT old but I'd forgotten how quickly boy-batteries get recharged! Tom turned to me and kissed me tenderly on my neck then whispered in my ear, "Stu? Take me now. Make love to me completely please?"
"You mean you want me to…….."
"Yes I want you to make love to me. Please, I need to feel you inside me?"
"But I might hurt you and I couldn't ever hurt you?"
"I'm ready and I know you will be gentle. I know you will stop if I ask but I'm not going to. I need this more than you know. I dream about it and I need you so much?"
I turned him over onto his back and spread his legs apart and took his balls into my mouth, gently swilling them around before licking my way across his perineum to his tight, pink little hole. Carefully I tongued his entrance sending shivers through his frame before probing at his opening until I got entry. I love his taste! Not mucky just musky sweetness and honestly I could've stayed there all night but Tom was getting too worked up. I went to open him up with a finger but he pushed it away.
"No fingers. Just you. I'm ready Stu. Trust me. I only want you inside me."
Turning him onto his side, the gentlest way to take someone, I lined myself up and pushed. I met resistance but Tom told me to try again and after a moments perseverance I gained access. Tom shuddered.
"Bloody hell it's big!"
"Am I hurting you?"
"NO! Feels like a telegraph pole trying to get into me but it's okay! Just take it slowly so I can get used to it."
Little bit by little bit he took me. All of me until his soft bum cheeks were firmly against my pubes.
"That's it. You alright?"
"Mmm. Good thanks! How do I feel to you?"
"I never want this to end."
"Take me now. I want you hard. No messing about, I almost want you to hurt me so just give it me, PLEASE!!"
Now my idea of fucking someone (by the way I HATE saying that in the context of a loving situation so maybe taking someone is better.) anyway 'taking someone' should be gentle and with passion but it's not all about me is it? I pulled out until just my knob was inside him then shoved it back in up to the hilt. Tom squealed like a stuck pig!
"Oh God YES! Oh FUCK YES PLEASE!!!"
I rode him like a stallion, all the time Tom quite literally begging for more but I was very conscious I was getting a bit sore. Damn it I was taking a virgin and not very gently at that! Just at the point I was seriously wishing I'd used a condom than Tom froze, his bum muscles contracted around me as if he was trying to wrench my dick from the rest of my body as he grunted loudly cumming all over the sheets. That was as much as I could take. For the first time in many years my dick convulsed firing shot after shot into Tom's young body until completely drained, I settled into him cuddling him from behind, my dick still buried inside him.
We drifted into a semi-sleep, just holding each other, no words needed.
Finally I plopped out of him, made my excuses and headed for the shower forgetting the shattered door from earlier.
Freshened up I returned to bed, Tom barely awake but awake enough to kiss.
"Thank you Stu. I really, really love you. I'm so happy?" And with that he finally took his rest.
I lay staring up at the ceiling, completely at ease with my conscience and overwhelmed with my boy-turned-lover sleeping beside me. That love that will never die.
As I too drifted off into oblivion, an image of Ian came to me. He was waving goodbye.
'Towpath' is finished.
To my bestest mates in the world. Andy, Billy and the Jaimie, I wish you all a life blessed with love, contentment and joy. Success in everything you aspire to and that inner happiness we have so often talked about.
This story is for you.
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